First off, I can pickup with the best of them. Partly because I've been involved in this game for several years and partly because I've developed balls of steal when it comes to not giving a shit about rejection when I go out. I have a serious problem though. I can't keep girls around to save my life. Honestly, I'm at the point where I'd love to have a girlfriend, but I can't pull it off. I can pull girls out of clubs. Day game. Even date girls for a while. I seem to always lose attraction after 2-3 weeks with any chick. I think that's the time frame where girls stop looking at a guy as someone new and interesting and question if he's long term potential. Evidently, I'm not long term potential. Atleast I'm failing to communicate it.

So how the hell do I maintain attraction and keep a girl around? I welcome any and all advice, book references, or article URL's. PM if you like or post your experience here.

No, this has nothing to do with long-term potential. I've had FB's, who I only saw once a week, stick around for a year or more. Unfortunately, your problem could be due to any number of things. For example, you could just be bad in bed or you could have some annoying thing that you do (like those people who don't read social cue's very well and don't know when to stop talking), or maybe your just bad at planning meet-ups. It's really hard to tell without more information.

Honestly, the more details you give us, the better. For starters, do you give these girls proper orgasms?

-Wolf

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Screening: drama-free-relationships-1-screening-vt124827.html
Bad Behavior: drama-free-relationships-3-the-soft-next-vt125554.html

Ya, I definitely do give them proper orgasms. I've studied that area of expertise as well as the pickup game and I am confident in saying I know what I'm doing. That's not to say I haven't had some screw ups in bed in the past due to too much drinking, stress, not focused, feeling selfish or whatever but those circumstances are isolated and anyone in pickup can relate.

I'm great at reading social cues, at least in person. I'm in sales and I've been doing it for years. I pick up on small nuances in social settings and can always seem to close as long as I'm in person.

One friend recently made the observation to me "it takes a certain level asshole to pickup a girl, and it takes a certain level of charm to keep her around." Maybe I don't have the charm down. The thing is I stay the same in personality when I pickup a girl as when I'm hanging out with her 2 weeks later. I like to tease girls and be playful. I don't understand how to transition into displaying myself as bf material. Any advice?

Okay, so we've ruled out the obvious. So you're saying that girls just friend-zone you? Or just stop responding to your texts/calls?

I'll throw out some general tips to see if any of them stick:

- Show that you find her attractive (i.e. cuddle after sex, touch her a lot)
- Let the relationship build gradually. Don't express your love for her on the second date or try to see her too frequently at first. Once or twice a week is good.
- Don't text her too frequently - only text to set the next meet-up.
- Pass her shit tests (this one should be pretty obvious)
- Set up a day-2 instead of going for same-day/night lays (at least until you deal with this sticking point)
- Plan fun activities for meet-ups, it's your job to be the organizer (pick the place and suggest a time).. taker her to cool places, introduce her to fun people, show her new things, etc. When in doubt, take her shopping.. let her pick out clothes for you. Girls love shopping and if they help you pick out awesome clothes, then they'll want to be around to see you wearing them in public.
- Let her be the one to push for a relationship

-Wolf

_________________
Screening: drama-free-relationships-1-screening-vt124827.html
Bad Behavior: drama-free-relationships-3-the-soft-next-vt125554.html

I don't get friend zoned, really ever. Just stop responding and things die off.

I may have a problem with showing I like her. It may be an issue with coming across as insincere. That's something I'll have to explore.

I may need to tone it down on wanting to meet up. I've conditioned myself to be very comfortable with new people due to sales. It works great for pickup and initially meeting new people, but now that I think about it I may be pushing too hard to meet back up in person and not being sensitive to the girl needing to feel things out. How do you recommend I go about this?

I may be texting too often. What's your recommendation of frequency of texting?

Shit tests, I'm great at.

I've been working the day 2's instead of same night deals. I understand the concept of buyers remorse and leaving the girl feeling slutty.

Fun activities, I got this down. I generally find an interest of the girl and set something up that actually accommodates her interest. Ex. she's into art, I say "That's awesome. I've always wanted to try clay sculpting. Come with me to this cool little pottery place and we can have a best sculpting contest. Loser buys ice cream after."

Letting her push for the relationship, I die out at 2-3 weeks with pretty much every girl. Occasional will last a little more than a month. Funny thing is, all my friends that go out with me on weekends think I have this amazing game because I can always pull new girls. Secret is I'm dying to actually have something of substance and can't figure out why the hell girls aren't sticking around. Last time I had a long term relationship with a girlfriend was almost 5 years ago.

Honestly, I ONLY text to set up logistics / plan the next meet-up. I generally ignore girls who text me random, inane stuff during the day. Being funny or cocky over texts really only gives the girl some validation, but doesn't really do much else. Plus, it's fairly easy to come off as needy or try-hard (which scares girls off).

After I first meet a girl, I'll typically wait a few days and then text her to see if she's busy. Then I'll suggest an activity and a time. If they are busy, then I'll maybe attempt to reschedule or tell them to have fun and then try again in a few more days. I just make it not a big deal.. if they come, then that's great. If they don't, then that's fine as well.

Here is an example from yesterday (got her number in a bar on Saturday):

Me (4:49): Hey, what's your work schedule? Do you work tonight?
Her (5:17): I just got home from work now. I might have to go back in. I am supposed to call at 6 to see if they need me.
Her (5:19): What you got going on?
Me (5:21): I was just wondering if you were up for getting some food or a drink later.
Her (5:33): That would be fun. I would love to if I don't have to work. I will let you know.
Her (6:04): I am now on call. So I have no idea. Ha ha. I should also let you know I have a boy friend but I would totally be down to hang out and have drinks or food sometime. If I get freed up soon let you know.
Me (6:23): Okay, I'm working late anyway.. just drop me a text if your work lets you off for the night. =)

Lol, they always have boyfriends. Anyway, that's pretty typical. It's very direct.. I'm just trying to set up a time and place to hang out. I just ignored the bit about the boyfriend and I ended up meeting her out at a bar for a drink later in the evening. You'll notice I also took my time responding (because I'm a busy guy and I have better things to do than sit and text all day).

Incidentally, talking on the phone is way, way better than texting. I never have girls flake on me if I actually talk to them beforehand.

-Wolf

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Screening: drama-free-relationships-1-screening-vt124827.html
Bad Behavior: drama-free-relationships-3-the-soft-next-vt125554.html

I think there comes a point in a relationship - if you want it to be a lasting and loving one - when Game should be toned down and almost tapered off completely.

You should still uphold some key principles;

- You should remain Alpha: a leader and a protector.
- You should continue to reward good behavior and punish the bad. E.g. her attempts to use jealousy plot-lines or any other tactics are met with disinterest, while any loving behavior is reinforced.

That's it, in my opinion. You don't have to use anything else. Because at the end of the day, love is all about vulnerability. A relationship is two people who depend on each other. That's what you want. And Game is how we GET the girl, but it isn't how we go about LOVING them.

I forgot one thing: You should make her orgasm.

even after you stop gaming her and she becomes your gf you should remain alpha as others have pointed out but also have to turn up the romantic side of yourself. Try taking her to the beach or writing poems, those things you see in the movies guys doing with girls might seem like BS but it works. I cant shake my current girlfriend even though ive broken up with her several times nd told her i really dont want a girlfriend