Firstly, have you been kino-escalating with her, in person? If yeah, then I am a bit worried about her short replies, if nope, then you know now where your problem is.

Unless, you are intent on getting a physical rise out of her, you cannot hope for any sort of overt investment. Touch is all powerful. Utilize it. If you are still unsure of how to progress, get yourself a copy of the DiCarlo Escalation Ladder. That will help you with the general flowchart of the process.

Secondly, short replies can only be given for questions which can be answered with short replies. In other words, unless your questions require answers greater than one line, she won't make the effort considering how many people must've asked her the same old, same old questions.

So, keep asking her about new things.. something you saw on the television, something you read in the papers or a magazine, her views on feminism, what does she think of romantic comedies.. in short, things which can take up entire hours and hours of discussion. Ask vague stuff sometimes, open-ended others. Don't put everything down to face value. Make her work for it by creating intrigue in your queries and you'll get her investment in whatever you both have between you.

Also, a very potent way to create interest is asking "Why?" instead of "What?", if you are more interested in her reasons, rather than her answer. You can question her on those, and derive new lines of conversation from them.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

Well, this is just normal whining and you can give her some support here, man. Nothing wrong with it. If she's just complaining about how hard her day might be, try your best to lift her spirits. She will appreciate your efforts later when she thinks about it. And that's a win situation.

The kind of attention and affirmation that you need to NOT give support for, is when extremely attractive women seek validation by saying things like,

"I am ugly. I feel pathetic."
"Oh, I am a bad, bad person. Aren't I?"
"I wish I had someone who'd really care for me."

and basically, blah blah blah blah shit like that in which they basically want you to express your worship of them. That's when you just remain unreactive and and say "If you say so." and watch their jaws drop.

Not when women talk about the hard times of their days.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

Hi Don, thanks for your advice. Here's a text convo from a few days ago:

Me: I'm going to watch the game tomorrow. You should come with me. Meet me there at 8pm?
HB: I don't wanna watch Barcelona, I'm a Realfan! And i have a cold :p
Me: No problem, i'll invite someone else then. And it's not Barcelona who plays tonight btw
HB: Who plays tonight?
Me: Standard against Hannover
HB: Aaaaaaaaah , when do you have to go to class?
...

In the next couple of days she initiated the text convo a couple of times and the last convo we had was 2 days ago when I texted her:
Good luck with your 'rescue exam ' tomorrow!
HB: Thanks! Have fun tonight!

next day
HB: I didn't pass the test
Me: What went wrong?
HB: i couldn't dive because of my cold
Me: do you get a second chance?
HB: yeah, next week
Me: you'll pass, don't worry about it.
HB: i hope so
Me: you have to believe in yourself
HB: do you believe in me? :p
Me: If i didn't believe in you, you wouldn't be on my ladder (inside joke - if she does something i like she moves up the ladder and if she dissapoints me she moves down)
HB: cool :p

So today she initiates convo again and i texted her this:
...
Me: glad your cold is almost over! Btw: i'm going to the school restaurant thursday and since you've told me you have never been there, you're always welcome to join me
HB: I've been there before, but just not this semester :p But i can't make it thursday
Me: Aaah ok, no problem! x

I'm confused! She seems interested, but flakes twice... I don't wanna get friendzoned, but i get the feeling it's going that way. What do you think?

Well I have been escalating lately. We are always touching and being playful with each other. I will try the escalation ladder. As this might have an influence. But this still a weird situation for me as I still get the feeling in person she wants me. But she definitely won't take steps on her own. And it feels like if I'm taking steps I am pushing her away, or she doesn't take me seriously. Usually I just used my phone to set up meetings. With her this is not the case.

I'll do my best to keep this short:

Went out for my mate's birthday on Saturday night and it's all good, dancing, drinking and all that business. K-close a mutual friend, HB8, lose the rest of the party in the process and end up going back to hers.
Get there and one of her SPAM comes out and chats to us briefly but it kills the mood, we have a cup of tea and although I'm pretty certain it could have gone further I told her I should go, took her number and she playfully called me old fashioned (which, to be honest, I took as a compliment).

Anyways on the way out she states 'I've always liked you'...I laughed and said 'Likewise'. Walked home.

Can't remember what we talked about but I do remember that the vibe was positive and ripe for escalation. However, I haven't texted her yet and I'm having a hard time deciding on what and when to text. Can ye help?

1: How many smileys do you suggest its acceptable to place within a text message?

2: What is the best way to get a girl to open herself up via text messages?

3:
I have met this girl on the internet. This girl has SPAM with me before and had pleasure on camera with me. We have texted and exchanged about 80 messages or more in total. She has declared she loves me and im her perfect guy and she really wants to meet me.
How would you suggest i get this girl to meet me, and make sure that she's being honest with her emotions and feelings?

_________________
Alex, Pimp in training.

I got some girl's IM contact info. occasionally. we totally don't know each other. but I can see some of her pics, she's hot, high value, and obviously there're a lot of nice guy around her.

I text her, using kinda IM tool, like the following:

hi, how r u doing

She didn't reply.

then, 3 days after that, I text again:


Are you shy?

I've been your IM friend for like 2 days and you still haven't said 'hi".

this time, she replied:
i dont know u man

and I replied:
that's exact the same words which I said to my ex-gf, but just change "man" to "woman"

(tried to answer wisely, but obviously, I failed)


So, any idea to chat with such total stranger, high value girls, through text?


On the other hand, I can feel much easier to chat with not that high value girls, even in the same case, I mean, we don't know each other totally. with average girls, she will respond to my hello, and easy to follow my conversation, no matter I pretend to know her, or just say I want to know new friends.....[/b]

Well, to be honest with you, the window of opportunity is closing fast for you. Soon, you will become another of her "boring, friendly guys" and then, it's all downhill from there.

So, this situation needs shock and awe. She expects you to be the Nice Guy that you are being currently, who's always polite and respectful and all that shit. So, you need to show her that while you are in fact a good man, you are also confident and bold about things that you want. So, be more upfront and direct in your texts and flirt, man.. I cannot see anything in your texts which can qualify as outright flirting. There's no sexual innuendos, no teasing, no joking, no honest comments about how much you are attracted to her.. nothing.

Trying to beat around the bush won't cut it with women in today's world. The fact is that if you're not take initiative, someone else is and he's the guy most likely ending up in bed/relationship/whatever with her.

So, stop playing so safe. And be more open, direct, honest, straight-up and all that with her. It's high time.

And if you are not building comfort with her, then she will flake over and over and over. So, focus on that too.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

Why does it feel like that?

And if she's not taking you seriously, then make her understand that you are being serious here. Something as simple as looking her in the eye and saying "I am being serious here." can do the trick. It lets her know that it's not all fun and jokes at this point, and that the actions and the words mean something.

Also, stop treating her as if she is something out of the world. She is JUST another woman. No matter how good she is. The more you are influenced by her effects on you, the more chances are created where you can misstep. If you can go do your thing while treating her the same way that you'd any other girl, you are doing great. If not, then you have a frame problem. And you should work on trying to remain as congruent as possible.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

You're joking, right?

You basically have the whole situation in the bag and you're asking me for "help"? Seriously?

All that is needed is to continue this conversation from the point that you left it off that day. (I still think that you should've escalated to a full close, but that's your decision to make)

Text her already and start it off with something to the point and obvious like "You've been on my mind all day.." or something along those lines. That should get her excited enough, considering how she has "always liked you".

Stop worrying so much. The girl is interested. Hopefully, you are interested. Don't complicate it. Keep it easy and close. Make some small talk, invite her over and figure out your steps from there.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

I'd say not more than 5 ,in any case. As a rule of thumb, I always keep it to those places where the tone might be offending, so the smiley indicates joking around and hence, communicates a playful vibe.
Well, the best way to get a girl "to open herself" would be by asking the right kind of questions.

Questions which are obviously about her as a person, more than anything else. Likes, Dislikes, Habits, Quirks, Ambitions, Dreams, Hobbies, Past and all that stuff.

However, sharing is a two way street. Don't expect her to start reading from a script as soon as you ask the question. You need to share too. So, be ready for opening up yourself too.
Again, I don't see the problem here.

She really wants to meet you, doesn't she? You can go and meet her, can't you?

What is the rocket science here? Go out, meet her and see for yourself, if she really means what she speaks. If she does, great. If she doesn't, you can find someone else.

It's either A or B.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

Wait a second? Can't you see for yourself what you're doing here?

You're coming off as a class 1 stalker, is what it is.

Firstly, you scored her details off a mutual friend, then you messaged her and she made it clear that she doesn't reply to strangers, still you persisted and got the obvious reply from her and then, you are wondering why she is not replying positively?

Stop being so creepy in your pursuit of girls. Women don't appreciate being accosted online by strangers and I'd advise you to get to know them in person, before you spring any more surprises on them like this one.

Also, leave the computer screen alone. Real women are to be found outside your door.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

Don, first of all, I'd like to thank you for doing this - and all the advice you have given. I read through the first 9 pages of this thread so far and that prompted a reply based on all the good advice.

My text game I feel like is spotty, If I can develop a comfort and a rapor with a girl, then I tend to feel like I do better, but a lot of the time I just don't get there.

There are two instances I have questions about.

#1 Erin/LeAnna/Anna/Oklahoma

This girl was all kinds of nuts. In a fun kind of way. Her and her friend bumped into me at a local bar friday. They bumped into me the first time as they walked by and I (Being a RAFC) didn't realise it was flirting. The second time they did it, it dawned on me and they instantly pulled me away from my friends and started talking.

It was clear they were just out to have fun and game, get free drinks or attention or whatever, perpetuated by the fact that I don't live on the east coast - and they told me they just moved here from oklahoma. After passing the shit tests she threw out I got the cuter one's real name, number, and there was a lot of kino and smiling before I left. I think this was because I have really practiced the eye contact game. Before I left, I set up a date with her for 1pm the next day at a coffee shop. Here is the transcript since.

p.s. she saved her own number in my phone, under the name "God" lol.

Me Sat 12:00 (Local shop name) @ 1 Erin

Erin Sat 12:28 : Ahh I'm sorry. I'm at a baby shower

Me Sat 12:41 : I don't know whether to believe you or not pathalogical liar girl

Me Sat 4:16: Eat dinner with me? Baby showers don't last all day.

Me: Tuesday 5:50 : Hey insane/cute crazy makes stuff up girl, how is your life going? Move back to Oklahoma yet?

Erin: Tuesd 6:17 Haha. I am in class till 7 but we are having a break

Me: tuesd 6:18 Sounds like a blast, what are ya learning? Creative storytelling? lol

Me: tuesd 7:30 What is your name again? you gave me so many, ha

Erin: tuesd 7:40 Haha my bachelor's degree is in creative writing! I'm not a liar, I am just a creative spirit. Now I am changing gears and getting my masters in counseling

Me: 8:24 Why am I not surprised?! Hey maybe when we meet again instead of a story you can counsel me, ya know, help me understand why I like a crazy girl


That's the end of it. The whole night when we met I busted on her pretty bad for lying about her name and stuff - but playful.

I'd really like to transition away from that stuff cause it's not a big deal to me and she didn't know me, and I'd like to move towards developing comfort and a constant flow of texting with this girl, so that when I TELL her I want to see her it isn't out of the blue. I realise that I shouldn't have asked her to dinner but rather said it like we had already agreed, right?

Let me know what you think. Thanks!!!

Will come with #2 from saturday night soon.

_________________
It's The Good Times

Don Woman #2 that I planned a date with keeps texting me cause I am basically ignoring her since she canceled our 2nd planned date. Now crossing my fingers on the third girl who I have a planned date with tomorrow.

I have two questions.....

1. Should I even try for this third date plan with the 2nd woman? I am completely fine with letting her go. But from an experience perspective I don't know if other guys trying to up there game will let a girl cancel several times or is it better from a social value standpoint to let her go. The first girl I shut down after her cancel for getting drunk before our date...........After I told a couple people about it they all gave me props.

2. With this third girl I am just trying not to go over board with the texting. I have been texting every day to build comfort, saying good morning and good night. I chat with her for a few texts then hold off. So my basic strategy for every girl really has been, (Good morning, a moment of chat during the day, and good night). There was a forth, but I don't like her, so I cut that. But she was responsive too. Should I keep this strategy up?

I have a big problem with this one girl that I have been texting regularly. We have never met personally. But she seems to be very interested in me. She even went as far to tell me via text:
' I want to let you know ily and think the world of you . Youre such a sweet, nice, optimistic, guy with a gr8 personality, good intentions, greath laugh . amazing martial arts skills, big bones and can always make me smile even on my down days ilysfm. '
' I love you so fking much its unexplainable in words i want you to be my man because even though sometimes things go wrong, you're still the best thing in my life and id be unhappy if you weren't . you could change my whole world, you never leave my mind . I was so scared about losing you. I know i dont want or need anything else but you and i never will, always you. I love you so much . Night '
I'm meant to be meeting this girl and staying at her house for a period of 3 days during the Easter school bank holiday.
She's a 16 year old girl who is in year 11.
I am in the same position but I am 15 years old.
We have exchanged about 80 or more texts. And have been talking for a few months now. And she has sent me alot of texts like these. I sometimes worry that it could all be a joke in her mind and she's interested in other guys because she cares about them more than me or whatever. And she finds it really annoying. Sometimes even logs offline and doesn't respond to my texts. She emphasies that they are only mates and nothing more. But I can't help doubting the situation because it's the internet. We have SPAM, talked on the phone, spoke on msn messenger and we met on a game via the internet. I know alot about her life and she knows alot about mine. She feels like im her perfect guy and she would do anything for me. Ive managed to convince her that I understand her better than most people do and that I really want to be the guy to help her and understand her better than any other guy ever could. She seems to be really keen on me and is wanting me in her life.
My questions are,
1: What do you think I need to do about this whole situation? We both break up for school on the 30th of this month.
2: Does it matter how many "x's" you put in texts? And if so, How many would you suggest I use?
I often notice this girl uses the "x's" when saying goodnight or something similiar. Something which really means alot to her.. Girls are confusing man, Esepecially ones you dont know.

_________________
Alex, Pimp in training.