Last month I got to Day 29 of Rules of the Game. I continued with the book despite that I was in a relationship, my longest so far, 5 months. I'm 32 now. We just broke up. Not that I wanted to cheat on her while I continued to approach women, but I had to look at the bigger picture of self improvment, of overcomming social hurdels.

I got stuck on Day 30 of Rules of the Game. I never managed to throw the party because of location problems. Also, I went back to University to improve myself, and increase my value in other ways. So school became an excuse to not approach anymore.

I was carrying on my last relationship almost entirely for self improvment reasons. I needed relationship experience since I have only ever had one other relationship that lasted one month when I was 30. It became very unfair to the girl, as she had major feelings towards me, and I was basically using her as a stepping stone to get out of my own shitty conditions. I thought about hanging on to the relationship until I found someone else, but I couldn't stand seeing her go through the rollercoaster anymore, constantly wondering and asking me if I really cared about her. If I continued it, it would have been for selfish reasons.

I managed to learn some things from my 5 moth relationship. She would do a lot of the stuff that myself and other guys on these forums and in this community do. She would DHV herself working spikes into stories, she would send me phoney texts that she would pretend were fro her friends and ex's and she "ACCIDENTALY" sent them to me. She would do strategic game stuff. What I leaned is that it's all so obvious, CHICKS must be able to see right through so many of these little games we play to try and win them over... they must, because I could see right through it. Surely a hot chick would see right through a guys act.

It's a paradox that so much power can be derived in a relationship by not giveing a shit. And I don't just mean PRETENDING to not give a shit, I'm talking about REALLY not giving a shit. Would she have cared so much for me if I was closer and gave a shit about her from the begining?....

Anyway, so I have to get back in feild pronto, even though it might suck for a while. I had a few really bad experiences before Iwent on heiadous. I had mall security called on me, kicked out of a mall, I had a woman yell at me, had mall security called on me again, had lousy reactions and ignores repeatedly. And my AA skyrocketed. I would just walk around looking for anyone to approach, then i'd most likely chicken out. It is really hard to approach if you know your attitude sucks and you know exactly how the interaction is going to turn out, because the last bunch went that way. I have been afraid to use my main opener again since the woman yelled at me in the mall. I did a lot of approaches after that, but barley used my main opener, which screwed me up, since I relied on it so heavily, for story and routine stack. I tried several other things since and nothing has had the same impact.

I have had success with rules of the game and learning PU in general. I think there is obviously some bad information that gets circulated though. I would have excpected to have approach anxiety much more under control. I swear to god, I would go in feild and it feels like I have never done an approach before. This is aan awful thing to go through every day. I'm sure a huge amount of being able to be successfull with women, is just being able to be comfortable with them. Despite all my progress I still get nervous in the presence of an attractive woman, I can handal myself better, still nervous though. And approaching even middle aged and elderly women and men can be difficult. Most of my approaches are the guttless, oops are you here, I guess I'll just start a conversation with you. Instead of the ballsy, walk up to a woman with intention and blw her mind kind of approach. I've done some of those, but mainly pussy approaches.

I thought about finding a job in some field where I need to talk alot, especially women, since I'm extremely shy, sometimes I struggle to find things to say. Nonetheless, I've come a long way, just not far enough.

Any other advice for getting back into the game after a month break?