This is a new journal I do.
Why is that? Simply couse in other users words, I practically learned shit from my last one, and from my last years experiences.
So this is a new way of facing life, a fresh start and a real one.
My journey to become a real man, one that understands himself and lives his life fulfilling his desires.
So let me begin with my last saturday night:
3/3/2012
The day was smooth, I went out surfing with my best friends, they kinda bringed me down discussing about why I didnt wanted to go to Punta del Este, best place for tourists my country has; but they were actually mad about some fights they both had with their girlfriends. So I just looked away and tolerated their attacks.
The night is interesting, I drank a few beers with one of them and a friend of his, and right after we got into the dance club.
The place is nice, lights and music are suited for a smooth pick up. I grab some girls hands but they wont agreed, so I opened a girl at the bar with something like: we are all over you and your friends (couse we were waiting for another beer coming). She laughed, said "I`ve noticed" and then we got are glases full and ejected.
I had already opened, a poor opener with a poor reaction, but an opening and that counts.
I`m in the mood with my friends, dancing and laughing, enjoying the place, when one of my friends points out one girl he knows, she smiles to him as if they were very close, and that smile really attracted me.
Shes holding a champagne glass in her hand, Im holding my beer, so I see her approaching, my friend introduces us and I high five her.
This is what surprises me, when she touches my hand, she actually grabs it as if staying for a bit too long. I`m smiling, she`s doing the same, I like her.
We exchange drinks couse I asked her what she was having, Baileys turns out, I offer her my beer and we have a sip.
Later that night she goes dancing with her friends, a really cool attitude dancing and enjoying herself. Long story short: she caught my eyes.
Rest of the evening went boring, we went to outside, in a park we are heading to smoke some weed (wich I have to quit when picking up couse it brings me down everytime I smoke that shit, makes me wanna go to sleep ASAP).
When we are heading to a bench, two girls are talking and we walk next to them while I was saying: we can`t sit here, place is a mess ( someone had vomited next somewhere near to the girls); so one of them says to us: well, hold on there. You can sit next to us. My reply was: well, are you going to make some room for us?
She moves a bit and we start talking. This girl was all over my friend, a bit ugly but with a great character. The other girl was beautifull, but ended up dancing and kissing with my friends friend
Last monday I asked my friend for that girl`s facebook; the one that caught my eyes. She immediately accepted me and started a convo.
I was kinda in a hurry, never spected her to reply so fast, so we talked about music and she said to me she was very random all the time, also funny, and I could keep up with her.
Tonight I started the convo, told her straight I was interested in her, that I was curious about her, and that if she was interested too we could meet this weekend and get to know each other a bit more over some drinks.
Right after I asked her: too straight?
Her reply: not at all, and yes, I`m free this weekend so drinks sounds great.
Observations:
I`m already having some illusion with this girl and I know that`s the wrong approach to do. So far I`m doing alright, but my ego wants to be exceptional, and that`s when I start to fuck things over.
If allowed, I really want to know this girl and bring her into my life; share things with her, and all that just by high fiving her.
How can I eliminate my connection with this feeling of fucking things up? How can I stay cool and understand, while going out with her, that this is only a great opportunity to practice my weak points like kino and sexual scalation?
Thanks for reading.