Being a dick is not punishment.. it's creating drama and strong negative emotional states. Your girl is a freak and, on some level, she enjoys the emotional ups and downs. You are still rewarding bad behavior!

You have to be INDIFFERENT in order to change her behavior... don't be a dick, just distance yourself when she acts out and tries to manipulate you emotionally. If she's behaving badly, then don't react when she threatens to harm herself or storms out or cries. You are just giving her the attention she craves. Instead, let her leave or ignore her or go play video games in another room... anything besides taking a ride on her emotional roller-coaster.

Rewarding freaks is easy: Tease her (be a dick, but playfully.. remember, she LIKES the fact that you're kind of a dick), pay lots of attention to her, touch her, be really dominant in bed and give her lots of orgasms.

-Wolf

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Screening: drama-free-relationships-1-screening-vt124827.html
Bad Behavior: drama-free-relationships-3-the-soft-next-vt125554.html

Just read this post again which is pretty genius, but i have two questions for you.
1. When pulling the soft next or freezing her out for a short amount of time when she has pissed you off a little as i live with her so for instance she got pissed off today with me today because i said i wanted my old phone back, she gave me a new one you see, and she started slamming doors and saying were "both unhappy in the relationship, we should break up" she says this all the time just to receive a reaction out of me she says because i just don't show her i care. So I ignored her this morning and she started to cry i do feel sorry for her because she loves me so much and I know its more than I do, but how log should i ignore her for. Or should i get angry with her like i have a very powerful voice and our relationship used to be similar to a streetcar named desire me being very loud and dominant like stanley because I read that women loved drama and are addicted to it and when I used this kind of behavior the relationship was exciting. Just what would you suggest?

2. Do you think that caring the least and soft nexting women makes you sort of immune to feeling and desentitizes yourself i haven't cried in ages and I used to alot this is worrying as I am an actor I am concerned about since I have a become a newbie pua that I don't care about other people as much as myself and I hurt a lot of people because of this.

The second question is easy. More testosterone in your system = less crying and more emotional stability. This may be a by-product of pick-up.. it depends. Competition and winning, at anything, raises testosterone. Anticipation of sex also raises testosterone.

Okay, on to the real issue. The biggest problem here is that you live with this girl. You can't soft next her for 3 days because you can't get away from her for 3 days. The best you can do is leave your place for a few hours.

Again, getting angry is a reward (for this type of girl) and not a punishment. Depriving her of your presence is the punishment. Unfortunately, you've screwed yourself over by moving in with this girl when your relationship was still having issues. I don't really have any solid advice for this because I've never gotten myself into this situation.

One thing you might want to try is just leaving and crashing on a friend's couch for a night or two as punishment.

-Wolf

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Screening: drama-free-relationships-1-screening-vt124827.html
Bad Behavior: drama-free-relationships-3-the-soft-next-vt125554.html

Honestly thank you so much wolfwood in my opinion you give the most sound advice on relationships that I have come across on here, I appreciate it!

My GF wants to have a talk today. I haven't txted her back yet after she said it. Should I just go no contact. I mean it's most likely a break up we've been together for 7 months but shes moving to Ohio in the summer. So I'm sure she'll use that as an excuse. We already had a talk last weekend about it and that we are going to give the long distance thing a try and I got her to agree and made it sound good or w/e. We had great sex that night too. I mean we met in the summer so we were able to do more things together now it's winter and were out of the honey moon stage most likely shits getting boring a bit. So I'm thinking i should go with no contact maybe that will spark something back up. I'd make a new post but I can't not enough posts.

Yeah, having "the talk" sucks. Just ignore her for now and assume you're single. It's for the best.. monogamous long distance relationships rarely work out well. If something DOES spark back up, then try for an open relationship or something along those lines.

-Wolf

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Screening: drama-free-relationships-1-screening-vt124827.html
Bad Behavior: drama-free-relationships-3-the-soft-next-vt125554.html

Hey Wolf, I gave in after a day and went and had the talk. Don't feel like going into details. I decided that we should see each other till she has to leave because it felt dumb to end it right there. She even said I love you to me for the first time which fucked with my decision.

So we hung out today and I could just feel the negative energy. I decided to end it. She obviously isn't happy and she already had plans with her friends this weekend. I felt like I had to do it right there to keep my balls so I did.

Hey Woolf, I'd also like to know what you think in regards to the above questions. Cheers.

Lastly, if she apologises whilst having soft nexted her, should you end the freeze out?

Okay, I really thought I answered this in my initial post.. which is why I didn't respond to these questions previously. However, maybe I wasn't making myself clear.

By default, you HAVE to be the one to re-initiate because, if you're doing this correctly, you're ignoring all her phone calls, texts, and e-mails. Do not break your freeze out for anything: crying, threats of suicide, apologies, offers of threesomes, etc. Actually, I take that back. You can break it for offers of threesomes.. sometimes, you just got to reward that good behavior.

So there's the rule: Don't break the freeze out early unless she's sending you naked pictures of her and her friend and telling you to come over so you can have sex with them (seriously though, don't break the freeze-out early).

Do NOT bring up the initial problem after you have frozen her out. If she brings it up and is acting like an adult, then you may talk about the original issue. However, do not tell her you were ignoring her because of XYZ. You were just busy (because you have better things to do than hang out with somebody who behaves badly). If she throw's a fit or starts acting like a child, then freeze her out AGAIN.

-Wolf

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Screening: drama-free-relationships-1-screening-vt124827.html
Bad Behavior: drama-free-relationships-3-the-soft-next-vt125554.html

Cheers for that, just one last thing, inevitably she is going to ask why you were unable to respond to her contact attempts, even significantly later, so how can you legitimately answer that? After all, no matter how busy a person is, he would still have a spare minute available to at the very least, send a text saying I'm busy.

Treat it like a shit test. Either dodge the question or tease her or just tear her clothes off and have sex with her.. anything besides answering the question.

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Screening: drama-free-relationships-1-screening-vt124827.html
Bad Behavior: drama-free-relationships-3-the-soft-next-vt125554.html

How would you implement that over the phone, though, if that is usually your first form of communication?

Also, is there not a potential drawback in this, in that the female can also follow suit in ignoring you once you decide to re-initiate contact? For example, I've ignored my GF since I stormed out from her place last night after a blatant act of disrespect, and she's only just contacted me this evening with 16 miscalls and several text messages within the course of an hour, all of which I've ignored. (I see, call and text her everyday, and vice versa, so that is a long time without contact for our standards)

Ironically, she's tried to pin it on me which she stated through a text, in that I haven't called her all day after what I did.(I said fuck you, slammed the door, and went off, after she slapped my head after I explicitly said that I would walk if she hit me again just moments earlier. I was going to escort her to the tube station like I do every day, but left her prematurely after what happened.) So what's to stop her from ignoring me tomorrow when I intend to re-initiate communication?

Nothing. In order to change a relationship, you have to risk losing it. If she decides to ignore you, then just wait a few more days and try again. If she does it, then it's probably with the intention of purposely pissing you off.

Honestly, i don't think a girl has ever done that to me before and I've done a lot of freeze-outs over the last couple years.

-Wolf

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Screening: drama-free-relationships-1-screening-vt124827.html
Bad Behavior: drama-free-relationships-3-the-soft-next-vt125554.html

whoa, I have been doing this since god knows when and I had no idea it even has a name. excellent thread wolf !

guys, stop worrying how she will take it. unless she is an idiot she knows very well why you froze her out. all you have to do is deny it. the excuse DOES NOT have to be believable, in fact it should NOT be believable.

most of the times I didn't even make up an excuse, just said 'I didn't feel like talking'.

Hey wolf, great thread you have going. I have a question about a predicament I'm in.

My gf of one month told me the other day she doesn't want to be physical anymore ( sex or just messing around in general). She claims it's due to her relationship with God slipping and she wants to get back on track. We're both really into each other and want to make things work, but I'm not sure how to treat this behavior. Not even sure if I can deal with that request yet.

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“Brick walls are there for a reason: they let us prove how badly we want things.” - Randy Pausch