3 year relationship, since we were both 15, i always thought we both seen it as long term, (i still believe she does). Its one of those relationships you never think will end.

She went on a month trip to America with her family, everything was going along as normal until then i suppose, once she got back she was just really blunt an sort of pushing me away, it ended up moving onto a break up discussion which shocked me, i couldnt even comprehend it. I seen it as a huge move on her part, extremely courageous, something i could have never done because our relationship meant so much to the both of us.

Her reasons were she is starting university and she wants to focus on herself, find herself and find out who she really is, etc, she said our relationship ruined her self esteem.

I did the stupid thing of trying to change her mind (worst thing i could have done in hindsight).It just pushed her away and caused huge resentment. I realised women dont respond to that and since then we have both had our space, i still find myself messaging her each every few days and we still get along and talk normally as friends, i wouldnt be here if i didnt think i couldnt get her back, but from here, what is the best way?

She is pretty busy at the moment which works against me because it keeps her mind busy, i just dont know what approach to take, i tried to cut all communication the other day to gauge her response, she doesnt want that, she doesnt want me out of her life, she wants to be friends, its been a while since i brought up getting back together, maybes shes using me to get over the break up, She knew how much this whole thing hurt me (also a bad reaction on my part, at the moment she has control of the whole situation, i need to find a way to get it back, but how? How do i regain control of this situation? How do i bring us closer again? I guess her going to America on a vacation changed her perceptions, but i sense i bring it back. All help is greatly appreciated.

Cheers.

best thing you can do is act like you have moved on. be indifferent toward her and this will cause a power switch seeing as she is the one used to pushing you away.

now im not saying push her away, just accept it and be indifferent. trust me she is going to hate this. let her come to you.

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just because my name is safety doesn't mean i like condoms

Cheers Safety, i was definitely expecting a response like that but for some reason im unsure it will work, although its only been 3 weeks and i have stopped the constant communication, its weird because the more space we get, the closer we are so your response is definitely logical in this case, but i think giving her too much space might backfire, maybe i just need to find the right balance, when i do find that balance, how do i approach or bring up getting back together?

i have been in a constant battle with my ex for like 7 months. there was a period where we didnt talk for like 3 months at all. all that distance and we stilll find ways to stumble into each others lives. its stupid and a waste of time haha
but trust me man i know it may feel like somethign but three weeks is nothing. trying to go back to her will not work. you have to let her come back to you, the only thing you can do is give her opportunities to come back.

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just because my name is safety doesn't mean i like condoms

the best way to get her back, is to not get her back, forget about her, you had a good relationship, but now it is over, this will not end in a happy marriage and an eternity together, it is just not there for her, don't take it personally, enjoy the time you had with her, now move onto new girls, a new chapter in your life, you don't have to be rude to her or anything, and it will be one of the hardest things you have ever had to do, but move on, stop calling her, stop contacting her, find other girls, improve yourself, find a passion

don't stop contacting her, in the hopes she will come back, doing it for her, do it for yourself, don't start contacting her letting her know you're seeing other girls, just actually go see other girls and stop focusing on her

if she wants to come back, she will, what will be will be, but so far she made a fairly clear choice and you should respect that, and move on instead of being needy

Cheers guys, im definitely able and willing to move on, especially hearing it come from clearer minds cause mine is confused as all hell right now, i guess im just acting on the whole holiday situation, changed her perceptions etc, and she still wants to be friends, which i find promising on my part that she doesnt want me out of her life, even when i tried to cut her out last week. etc, im still unsure as to whether she considers this a long term break up also, i guess these are things i need to clear with her.

Okay so the truth is i didn't think i'd be the one giving advice in a situation like this because i am going through a messed up time myself but i've learnt one thing and that is the more you think of it and overanalysing what could of or not you will get yourself more hurt. Let it go for now, it's hard i know because i am trying this myself. Go on no contact for a while and trust me from what you said she will come back for you, don't text her first, wait for her to be the one always making the move, go out with your friends and meet another girl date her and see how things go, it could be a new start or it could bring your ex back to you.

ITS HARD I KNOW AND I FEEL YOUR PAIN but women aren't worth it. I lost over a stone since eveything went downhill because of this woman that i truly liked..

Cheers guys, just chatted to her calmly, let her know that if it wasnt going to work then we have to cut all ties (already deleted her number to stop drunken texts). I requested she block my facebook account so i had no way of communication and she did so reluctantly, its pretty hard to handle but i guess time will heal. Appreciate everyones advice.

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