Is cussing a turn-off?



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 Post subject: Is cussing a turn-off?
PostPosted: Thu Mar 01, 2012 5:05 pm 
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Do you usually cuss in normal conversation or are you refrained and filter what you say? Sometimes when I say whatevers on my mind to keep the convo going and feel natural, a few shits/fucks slip out.

One time in middle school, I was kinda shy and this girl thought that was cute and saw me as this "good boy." She was really nice to me until one day she heard me called my friend a bitch during gym class because I made a basket he said I wouldn't make and wouldn't pay me my 5 bucks. She never treated me the same after that.


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 01, 2012 5:46 pm 
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I swear like crazy. It's kind of my personality. Most of the time it's to add spice to a story, so no one seems to mind. As long as you aren't swearing for the hell of it to try to sound cool and it's kind of a natural thing for you to do, I don't feel like people take offense as easily.

Just make sure you watch what you say. Don't refer to women as bitches or cunts, for example.

With that said, when in doubt, I'm pretty sure you're better off not swearing at all.


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 01, 2012 5:46 pm 
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ok so that was middle school... how old are you now? without coming across as condescending, are you in the stage where cursing is 'cool'?

there's nothing wrong with cursing, it's how you say it that could make it a turn off.


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 01, 2012 7:25 pm 
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Be yourself. However, I'm weary of swearing at first because some girls do find it offensive, but over time I'll start dropping F bombs or whatever.


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 01, 2012 8:01 pm 
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CALIBRATE...ultimately though I wouldn't wanna be around a girl who can't handle me. I will never censor myself or dial it down just because she's uncomfortable with it.

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PostPosted: Fri Mar 02, 2012 10:52 pm 
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Curse but only in moderation. Too much is bad, none at all will make u seem like wuss.

Think of high value you people. They curse but is not on and on. They will throw it in there.


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 03, 2012 4:32 am 
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I curse all the time in casual conversation. It is the sign of an alpha male. Much like smiling (In the animal Kingdom, this is analagous of bearing ones teeth, much like a Lion roaring or yawning, it shows you are comfortable with your surroundings.), shaking peoples hands and initiating conversation with people in the first place, when you get to set the tone for a conversation, you make a very powerful statement of who the Alpha in the Room is.

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PostPosted: Sat Mar 03, 2012 4:48 am 
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I curse all the time in casual conversation. It is the sign of an alpha male. Much like smiling (In the animal Kingdom, this is analagous of bearing ones teeth, much like a Lion roaring or yawning, it shows you are comfortable with your surroundings.), shaking peoples hands and initiating conversation with people in the first place, when you get to set the tone for a conversation, you make a very powerful statement of who the Alpha in the Room is.
I'm not so sure about that. If you're trying to get quality girls like I am, cussing makes you sound less intelligent. You can't think of vocabulary words to express yourself so you replace them with "shit" and "fuck." In literature, they call that a cheap way out because anyone can curse like a sailor, but you'll sound dumb.
Maybe only drop one once in a while? I'm not sure.


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 03, 2012 5:45 am 
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I curse all the time in casual conversation. It is the sign of an alpha male. Much like smiling (In the animal Kingdom, this is analagous of bearing ones teeth, much like a Lion roaring or yawning, it shows you are comfortable with your surroundings.), shaking peoples hands and initiating conversation with people in the first place, when you get to set the tone for a conversation, you make a very powerful statement of who the Alpha in the Room is.
I'm not so sure about that. If you're trying to get quality girls like I am, cussing makes you sound less intelligent. You can't think of vocabulary words to express yourself so you replace them with "shit" and "fuck." In literature, they call that a cheap way out because anyone can curse like a sailor, but you'll sound dumb.
Maybe only drop one once in a while? I'm not sure.
That sounds like something my mother would say. At any rate, they're just words. Let's not over-think this concept.


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 03, 2012 7:14 am 
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CALIBRATE...ultimately though I wouldn't wanna be around a girl who can't handle me. I will never censor myself or dial it down just because she's uncomfortable with it.
And you wonder why you're still single...


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 03, 2012 11:11 am 
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Quote:
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I curse all the time in casual conversation. It is the sign of an alpha male. Much like smiling (In the animal Kingdom, this is analagous of bearing ones teeth, much like a Lion roaring or yawning, it shows you are comfortable with your surroundings.), shaking peoples hands and initiating conversation with people in the first place, when you get to set the tone for a conversation, you make a very powerful statement of who the Alpha in the Room is.
I'm not so sure about that. If you're trying to get quality girls like I am, cussing makes you sound less intelligent. You can't think of vocabulary words to express yourself so you replace them with "shit" and "fuck." In literature, they call that a cheap way out because anyone can curse like a sailor, but you'll sound dumb.
Maybe only drop one once in a while? I'm not sure.
That sounds like something my mother would say. At any rate, they're just words. Let's not over-think this concept.
Beat me to it Snarg - let's not overthink the concept. Swearing/cussing whatever you want to call it doesn't make you alpha. Little individual things like that don't make you alpha. You can be perfectly "alpha" without swearing. Alpha is simply about your mindset and how you own your own skin. If you can own your skin and be completely happy with yourself without having to swear, girls aren't going to come out and say "oh, he hasn't sworn in this conversation, so he's clearly not alpha".

Like most things in this game, it's dependent on the individual and the circumstances. I know people whose whole game revolves around manners and "gentlemanly conduct" so to speak - they're not beta, they're not wusses, they just feel comfortable basing their game around a certain set of values. They won't swear, yet they're still ridiculously successful. Likewise, I know guys who swear a lot and they are also successful in certain circumstances.

I would definitely avoid certain words at first - like the examples in the first couple of posts. But as a general rule, I think just let it slip out naturally. I don't swear a lot, and use it only really for emphasis. Someone said CALIBRATION - and think of how you would calibrate in normal society (not just chatting up girls). If you were watching the footy with your mates, you'd be swearing loads. If you were talking to your boss or your grandma, you wouldn't be swearing much. The same with girls, once you know where you stand and what sort of girls you're dealing with, try to tone yourself to their level.


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