I am not only asking this for myself, i am asking in general about flirting what is acceptable and what is not


Me and my girlfriend have been dating for 4 months, and we were all with a big group at a party saturday, and i was standing with my GF and her friend at the party and my GF walked over to a guy and started flirting with him right infront of us

The guy has high value i believe .. He is a professional soccer player in the under 19 category.. So he's pretty well known.

Anyway, they were just talking to eachother, she had his hand on his chest and he had his hands on her hips, i didn't really payed much attention to it and looked the other way, only thing i saw was that and she asking him about his tattoo and stuff

Later me and my gf were talking on SPAM and we kind of were joking about the party yesterday and this came up

GF: *talking about party*
Me: Yea it was nice, i saw a nice girl and kinda flirted with her!
GF: Oh really? tell me more ! How did she look like and what's her name?
Me: *Describes my own girlfriend* and her name was *her name*
GF: Ohh tell me more!
Me: Well i was standing at the bar and she came up to me ! Cute girl!
GF: Nice ! So are you going to date this girl?
Me: Well i don't know if she wants that.. I am very busy with my soccer career so i wont have much time for her ..
GF: Funnypants
Me: What?
GF: You know what i mean hahaha
Me: Hahaha
GF: Not fun
Me: Haha
GF: Not fun so dont laugh!
Me: Haha yea she was admiring my tattoo
Gf: You were spying on me
Me: haha no i was standing next to it with ur friend
Gf: Hahaha okay xd no he's friends with my brother so we were just talking
Me: He's a very nice guy isn't he?

--

That kind of was it, kind of weird they were just ''talking'' with her hands on his chest and his hands on her hips but whatever, i didn't say anything about it but it bothered me, do i need to get over myself?

In general: What kind of flirting crosses the line for you?

I have a very low tolerance for that kind of thing. There are a billion other women out there, why should I (or you) settle for one that thinks it's acceptable to be so promiscuous?

Granted, what she did wasn't THAT severe, and I would have probably handled it the same way you did. Good job, honestly. However, if she makes this a habit, I'd start to grow weary. I hate to fill your mind with negative thoughts, but if she's willing to do that in front of you, imagine what she might do when you're not there.

Maybe, though, that kind of thing isn't common for her. Maybe she did it to make you jealous for a reason. Have you two been having problems? Maybe she thinks you're not paying enough attention to her or something. Your best bet would be to find out as indirectly as possible without letting her know it bothered you.

Thanks for the response,

yes we were lately having some problems, a lot of arguments in the past few weeks, some of them were my fault, some of them weren't..

I don't think im not paying enough attention, i always want to see her and do stuff with her and want to dance with her and stuff, but she is always very busy with school and most of the times isn't allowed to go out with me because of her parents.
Find out what exactly? Why she flirted with him? And how would one get to know this without looking jealous/bothered by it?

I meant to find out if she is having any issues with you. Like if she's feeling neglected, losing interest, etc.

Lately i have been feeling that she is losing interest in me yes, i feel her slowly slipping away from me ..

But maybe this is all just in my head

Then my suggestion would be to really start stepping it up. She's clearly flirting in front of you because she wants you to do something about it. Instead of reacting negatively to it, pretend it never happened. Plan something really amazing for her this weekend that you guys have never done together. Be romantic, be charismatic, be funny, and make sure she has a good time. You can rekindle the flame pretty easily if you know the right thing to do. Even some flowers might not hurt. Don't worry about coming off as a bitch or anything, you're already in a relationship so it's perfectly acceptable to let down your guard a little.

Yeah makes sense, i was thinking about inviting her over the weekend and just saying ''ok let's go do something'' and drive to the beach to watch the sunset and get some drinks there..

Thanks for the help!

That would be perfect. Let me know how it turns out for you.

I'm sure this girl was not flirting. You most likely precieved it as flirting because you find this dude a threat. You dealt with it properly though. Women and men will find others attractive even when in a relationship. You need to learn how to deal with it.

This happened to me about a year ago
Was shopping at the mall, walking side by side talking. I was looking at my phone and she just stopped talking mid sentence. I look up at her and see her looking ahead. I look foward and I see this rediculously good looking buff son-of-a-bitch walking towards us. He glances at my girlfriend and smiles. My girlfriend blushes and has this borderline retard look on her face like she just wet her panties. I laughed at her asking her if she was okay and told her I would go put in a good word for her.

My point here is you should not think it's a big deal if your girlfriend talks to some guy, smiles or whatever. If it's full on flirting then it's a big deal. But it's a little minor thing, then it's nothing and pretty natural. Trust is a crazy thing. You don't want to prohibit your girlfriend from talking to other people based on your insecurities. And sometimes the relationship does go sour and her mind may wonder, but all you gotta do is respark it with the above posters advice.

How was that not severe flirting? I fail to see how it can be perceived as anything but that.

Just cause this girl smiles and touches this guy on the chest does not mean she sexually wants him. It could have been OP's exaggerated view. My girlfriend has 4 brothers. She is more touchy then the average girl.
I missed the part that his hand was on her hip, I wouldn't like that. But they were at a party, assuming alcohol was present, women senses become reduced with drinking, she maybe did not find him toching her alarming. Don't you often see women hugging, leaning and touching "AFC" guys? That's because they offer no sort of threat.

Well if your girl starts to flirt in front of you do the same:

Talk to other woman and enjoy their company. Thus you create also the image that you have some options. If shes somewhat into you she will fight her of or joins your conversation. If you think hes a compeditor thus you display what you think to her. Unless you are aware of it and thus can shine it to the outside.

First, I hope this post doesn't get deleted. A lot of my posts are lately. Dunno why. I think it's because of these tangents but this is a learning place and my question relates.

I would have reacted by not saying anything at all, not acting bothered (not saying you did act bothered) and probably just would have given my GF less attention. This type of behaviour needs punishing this way.

Now, is this the right sort of way to respond? I like your response, but is mine being too push over like. Reading above, one of you say pretend it didn't happen. But is that just never ever mention it? Shouldn't one give less attention if a GF acts in a way I don't approve?

I thought of flirting with someone else but this just adds to the problem and shows your emotionally affected by her actions?

What do you guys think?

That would only exacerbate the issue. As would flirting with another girl. If he feels like she's losing interest, it's for a reason and the issue should be attacked head-on. Anything else is nothing but a childish game.

I sure will! Do you think it would be better to just surprise her on friday or just tell her beforehand that we're going to the beach?