Summary of me:

-I'm 31
-I've been in one 6 year LTR with a girl 7 years younger than me
-It ended sadly, but probably for the best
-I am not looking for hook ups, I'm looking for chemistry, connection and a wife

My question is this:

I'm like Dr. Jekell and Mr. Hyde. When I find something genuinely interesting about a place or person, I become *UN*self-aware, gregarious, confident, energetic, and talkative. And when I cant find something interesting and feel out of place, I become shy, awkward, and self concious. The transition happens instantly, to where I could be in a social gathering trying to crawl out of my skin to get away, and then something happens that I click with, and I am standing up speaking to everyone with enthusiasm and wish the night would never end.

Does anyone know how this works and how I can exploit it?

I am just realizing this while typing this that this is an incredibly powerful tool that gives me superhuman powers. I have, and know I can, violate all social "LSM/AFC" barriers instantly when I feel this way, but I am not in control of it and it only activates when something actually clicks with me on a deep level.

I am not saying this is unique. I am not drawing any conclusions from it. I would like to know if anybody else has experienced this?

And if you think I am overblowing this and its not useful please let me know too, I can see how that would be the case.

If I can somehow move the puzzle pieces around so I become interested in HB's.....hmmmmmmm

This sounds to me like when you know what to say, you're yourself and confident. But when you don't know what to say or can't relate to anything you probably give yourself negative thoughts thinking 'omg say something you look awkward and withdrawn'. These thoughts then make you feel this way and then you act this way.

There's this thing in psychology called the think feel do cycle.

Think --> Feel --> Do

Think that you're awkward
You will feel awkward
You will be awkward.

If you can't relate to what's being said, stay calm and relaxed, remember to active listen and pay attention to the conversation. If you have no input, that's fine but look alert and awake don't switch off. Put some effort into getting into the conversation, ask questions or something.

This brings us into the other side of the cycle.

Do - act alert and pay attention to the convo even if you have nothing to do
Think - think that you are doing well, you're listening in and your confident at all times
Feel - you will feel confident, alert and involved.

Don't blame it on yourself if you can't fit in. Sometimes people bring up selfish conversations where only a few people in a group will be able to relate about it. This is them and their poor social intelligence.

thanks, your reply has actually affected my brain! ill put your concept to use and report back

Practice meditation. This will help you focus intently and fully consider every thing said in conversation. Hopefully this will help you find everything interesting, and interrupt the "Think" that titanman described.