Ok so I started texting this girl from school about 2 weeks ago it was going well and we were flirting but then we became 'bestfriends' then the next day we went on a drive and we just sat and talked for a few hours

2 days after the drive we were still texting but I decided to ring her and ask her to go to the cinema but not as friends but on a date she agreed and we made plans the problems started the next day

Her:I can't go to the cinema next friday it's my mums birthday sorry
Me:wanna just go on Tuesday then? If you don't wanna go just say I'm not bothered
Her:will you not be annoyed? My dad doesn't Like me going out in the week
Me:no I won't be annoyed I'm not bothered although I do like you
Her: let's just be bestfriends then?

I agreed then we texted for the next few hours unitill she didn't reply to one of my texts so I decided to freeze her out I didn't text her at all yesterday and I don't plan on texting her today how should I get out of the friendzone and stop her from flaking because I know she mustve liked me in someday if she agreed to go on a date in the first place also how did I mess up in the first place cause I don't wanna make the same mistake again. Thanks

Short replies come from topics which can be answered with short replies. It's that simple, really.

So, the correct thing is not to indulge in any technique, but to simply introduce those topics into the conversation which can be talked about in detail and a one word or a one line answer will just not do.


Here's a list of conversation topics that you can bring up in your talks which might ensure a good, flowing conversation between you both..

* There are very few topics deeper than music and musicians. Or cars, for that matter.

* Travel. Places you've been to, places she has been to, places you would like to go, places she would like to go. Why those places, why not any other?

* Things happening around the world right now. What might be the intentions behind people doing those things. Or the phenomenon which causes those things to happen.

* Spiritual questions, like "Is there life after death? Do you believe in that? Yes/No and why/why not" and such.

* About themselves, cause that's the favourite topic people want to talk about. Questions like "What is most important to you as a person?" and "What's one thing that you wish you could change in yourself" and why.

As a general rule follow a "Why not What" policy. I often tell people that "I am not as interested in the answer, as I am in knowing their reasons behind the answer" and that leads to quite a lot of new possibilities and opens a lot of threads for conversation.

Hope that answers your question well.

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" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

I am going to be honest with you, I really don't check my PMs. So, if you have any queries, just jot them down in the thread, even if they are other than text game, and you'll have my full attention.

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" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

I am sorry, but did I miss something there. You clearly mention that you AGREED to her offer of "let's just be bestfriends then?" and now, she has happily categorized you in the friends category, ergo no sexual feelings involved. That's of your own doing. Generally, anything attached with a friend connotation is a bad idea, unless it's friends with benefits.

You want to get out of the friend zone, it's simple.. just do everything that a friend does NOT do. No long conversations, no overt texting, keep the conversations polite but formal and be on the lookout for new, interesting women. She expects you to "be there" all the time and that's just code for back-up, so don't "be there". I know you want to talk to her all the time and be with her, but you've landed yourself into a corner, and you'll have to take strong actions to get out of there.

I won't advocate a freeze-out, cause it won't do anything for you and you'll be back to your old ways after the freezing out period finished. But, I will advise you to keep the contact to a bare minimum, and maintain an arm's length from her. She'll be confused, surprised, shocked even but this is what it is. It's not about her, it's about you.

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" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

I've noticed lately that I've been ending my text conversations really early. I keep it extremely short and concise compared to what I see other people post. Is this a bad thing? I like to keep them short just because there's less risk of saying something stupid and would provide more to talk about face-to-face.

I noticed people post page long texts in this thread. My texts are normally less than 5 lines from me and the HB (total of 10 or even less). I'm usually always the one that ends it. Is there any reason to be extending my text convos?

Hey Don, this post is not a question, Its just sort of info/thanks.

It's going well with the last blonde (posted about her few pages back). I continued sending her texts where I played on her imagination and she got so hooked that she invited me out yesterday and she gave me a very very good blowjob in my car later (for sure this will lead to sex but I do not really care TOO much)

I feel that the text game is very important part of my game, because I rely on quick #closing and dating and I feel really comfortable this way. This thread is basically the only reason I am visiting this forum!

Thanks don great advice it's working better than what I thought it would! She text me this morning and I was polite and short with her and after a few texts the conversation ended she then texted me again in the afternoon asking what I was doing I was polite and short again she text me a few hours again later and now she's asking me all the questions and making the conversation so that's a good sign I'm hoping shel want my attention and approval so much when I tell her I'm going to the cinema this week shel want to go to get my attention and approval what do you think does that sound like a good idea?

Is this lady having cold feet or just freaking out and trying to play it cool?

She starts off sending me a text............

Her: Hey what's up? How are you?
Me: Good, off for the day gonna heading home to relax.
We chat for over 20 messages, then she say's.....
Her: I'm free, thinking of going out to night?
Me: Let's go out.
Her: Okay

Now here's where it gets weird, she stops texting for like 2 hours even with me texting her, then sends me one text saying the time and location. Then nothing again. Kinda a live event right now, just thought I'd shoot it out there trying to figure out if things like this usually end in them saying at the last moment, "Hey I gotta cancel" or something. Just a little lost in this area of dating, definitely feeling the AFC right now.

EDIT: Yeah she canceled. She actually tried to reschedule, but her reason for canceling was so off putting I couldn't bring myself to say yes. Told her good bye.

k heres a transcript:
is this (my name)? i just wanted to say sorry if i came across as rude
me: if i see a smile next time then maybe i'll consider it
her: lol ok maybe
me: maybe? wasn't a question...i want to see a smile on that face and soon, capiche?
her: lol you don't even know me! you don't need to see me smile

stumped. completely new to this thing. please help

Well, that's not an actual "issue", per se.

As a general rule of thumb, carry out the conversations to the point where you feel like you've accomplished your goal for talking to her. It could be anything from asking her out on a date to make her feel hot and heavy to something as small as just getting a laugh and smile out of her. As soon as you've got what you wanted in your head, it's time to make some small talk and end the conversation.

Why? Because you've reached a high point and she's linked a positive state to you, why take chances and ruin a good thing? So, for the future, always leave the conversations after you've completed your personal objective and on a high note.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

Congratulations. Looking forward to your next query.

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" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

Did I not tell you to focus your attention on to other women or do you just read my advice selectively?

I am not your enemy here, so when I tell you to do something, commit FULLY to it. Not some half-assed strategy which you think will get you the girl. It won't.

So, what if she's suddenly initiating conversations? That doesn't mean she will start seeing you in a new light just because you've not said your "Hello"s for two or three days. When I talk about a restricted freeze out, it's just for you to get some perspective and not fall even deeper into the trap which you're falling in already.

This girl is just missing the attention you used to shower her with and wants to know what's happening suddenly. Don't regress back to your old ways confusing that with her interest, cause it isn't. Just carry on with what I told you and go all the way, if you really want to get somewhere.

In the short term, maybe nothing will happen but in the long term, you'll get plenty of benefits.

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" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

Well, you were being a complete AFC in your ways, so you can't blame her for what transpired here.

I've been literally painting all over this thread, talking about how women want men to TAKE THE LEAD. No matter what feminists tell you or how lazy you feel, you have to go ahead and tell her when and where exactly will you take her and that she should be ready. She will appreciate your taking of matters into your own hand.

And if she agreed with you up there to "go out tonight", she was basically waiting for you to give her a time and place, or that for you to tell her to be ready, so that you will pick her up at so-and-so time. How hard was that for you to do?

But, you didn't. So, she spent the next few hours waiting for some signal from you, which was NOTHING. So, she messages a time and place, but decides it's too much effort for NOTHING, so she'd rather not go. And I don't blame her.

If you are not willing to be a man about these situations, it's nobody's fault but yours. Take that lesson away from this.

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" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

Well, you were being too ordering in your tone. And for a woman you've just known, that's not a good way to go about it.

She opened the line with an apology, you needed to handle that in a classy manner by saying that you understand and she shouldn't worry about it and then, changing the conversation to a topic of your liking. Instead, you dredged the apology over and over till she was exasperated and possibly offended, which came out in a "lol you don't even know me! you don't need to see me smile" sort of way.

Be more aware of how to act around women when they are in an apologetic mood. They want to put that shit behind them and talk about anything else, and as a man that is what you need to be doing.

Anyway, just tell her that, "Don't be like that. I just wanted to see you smiling. That's all." or something along those lines and then change the conversation, so that this awkwardness can be put beyond you both.

Comprende?

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" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

I actually go the impression that she was under a lot of pressure based on how she sabotaged it. So your reply sounds spot on. I should have made the situation less stressful and been the leader. Thanks.