guys, I am an experienced player and I am trying to get a date with this fantastic woman I have been speaking to online.

Its taken weeks to get to this point but last night the lid got blown off when she told me she was feeling really guilty about what we are doing cos she doesnt want to hurt her husband.

I went into convince mode over-drive. She tells me she wants the same as me, that she isnt going anywhere and that she knows she needs to sort out this feeling of guilt before we can progress this.

Any idea what I can say or do to help her out ?

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fail to prepare, prepare to fail !

You need to make her see that is worth taking the risk, that pretty much depends on how you see her by that I mean what do you want from her, is it a relationship? just sex? if it's just sex... it's very complicated and you should ask yourself if it's worth all that effort and all the possible negative consequences for her life for just sex.
If you want something more, something deeper than sex then ask her to see you. Tell her that you want to see her and really get to know her, don't promise anything you can't keep.
If she agrees on meeting you just take your time and DON'T rush things, don't push it and tell her from the beginning what is it that you want.

If you have any more quetions just send me an email at fcgame007@gmail.com

Hope it goes well.

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Winners have simply formed the habit of doing things losers do not like to do 18/03/12

Well, thanks for that fella, a lot of good sense in there.

We both seem to want a meaninglful realtionship but are both married, yes sex is a big part of that but I think really we both want more than that.

This is what is weirding meout, I don't normally go into it looking for that, its just sex but she is something else.

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fail to prepare, prepare to fail !

Cool man, That is what I wanted to hear.
Send me an email and I will help you out.

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Winners have simply formed the habit of doing things losers do not like to do 18/03/12

It's threads like these that make me know absolutely for sure that I NEVER want to get married...

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Pretty little girls, so used to getting your way. Along comes a man who challenges you, and suddenly you don't know what to say.

lol, I know what you mean about geting married.

It does lead to some interesting challenges though.

As for this one, no heard a thing from her in two days. Not looking good, am just waiting for the final bullet to the head.

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fail to prepare, prepare to fail !

Curious if you got your bullet to the head. I'm fairly new to this, but the info here has helped a ton. I have a related question, don't mean to hijack, but I think if you're not dead, we both might benefit by learning from each other. Here's my story:

The situation is almost the same. Started just for fun, then I like who she is, she is a hot wife with 6 kids(yup, and still looks good) who isn't happy. At one point she confessed to her husband she was looking for guys online. They went away for 2 days. She emailed the next day saying she doesn't know what she wants. She says she thinks she can make her marriage work, just doesn't know if she wants to. I talked to this girl for awhile, even offered advice on how to maybe salvage her marriage. She is christian, never been with anyone else till me, and is a good person, she just has a wild streak. I decided after awhile she was gonna do it with someone sooner or later, might as well be me. Plus I like her, so I stop the amateur marriage counciling and go after her. I waited for her to start pressing me to meet, then slowly gave in. We met once, she arranged it all. I played it cool, let her come to me. Was easy to see, her pupils were huge the entire time. We kissed at the end of the night, and then I said I had to go.

We met a week later, and f-closed without much effort. Next day she is very cool. Sex was incredible, I've unleashed the hounds, etc. But she goes on a christrian retreat that weekend, and calls the following Monday at 11AM. She's with her husband, told him everything, don't call me ever again, hopes I find god, done.

I really like her. I send her 2 emails, 1 that says WTF in not so harsh of terms. Second one the next morning says basically I didn't expect it to end this way, I don't regret what we did, sad I won't hear from her ever again, tell her I love her, sorry I hurt her, end of email. She calls 3 days later. We talk for a bit, I talk WAY too much. I asked why she called, she said my email pulled on her heart strings. She has no internet anymore, deleted my number, everything except close the email account. Not sure what to do. From what I know, she will do it again. Before I went after her, it was clear she doesn't love her husband, he's not even a beta. She takes care of everything, and wants a partner. I'm certain she might stay for her kids, but she'll do it again if she stays with him, I'm sure of it. He is the one who still wants to work on it.

Questions: What do you do about a girl who repeatedly has guilt trips sky high?

What's my next play? She told me she wants me in her life somehow when she called last. I asked her how given all the actions she's taken. She says just email me right now. I know she can only check it when she's at work, which is pretty limited. I'm thinking maybe twice a week at best. Is freezing effective when you know she can't communicate for 3 or 4 days at a crack? Right now, given what I know, she's basically isolated at home with kids, no phone, no internet. Kinda sad really. Not sure if my next email should discuss that, or if I should just shutup and wait. I did send her one after the call saying sorry I hurt you, I won't touch you again without it being ok on moral grounds, and that I want to be someone she respects, not someone she has to go to confession for every week.

What's your take? Sorry this was long, but I'm very interested how this turned out for you.

Well, mine did die sadly, not literally of course,she simply couldnt handle it.

However since then I have hooked up with someone else who had a guilt attack. She did however still want to go ahead so we spoke at length via email (although we had met and kissed already) about why she felt guilty and just talked it through.

So I suggested slowing it down, not to a stop but maybe to meet up for a coffee and a chat and nothing more, just take it at her pace.

So we met and had a coffee, and a kiss, and she got fingered and now she's good to go, no guilt becuase she is so horny for me lol, but its because i respected her, talked to her and gave her time.

Ultimately there is no magic bullet because we are talking about individuals but i would say if she has issues but she is still keen give her time and space. But dont let it go too long, thats what happened with my other one, tell her you wont pressure her and you'll give her time to sort her head out but set a parameter, for example,"how about i give you a few days to think about it and lets meet up for coffee on such and such a day just for a chat" so she knows you are giving her space but from your perspective its not open ended.

If she cant come around to the idea then its best just left, if she really wants it, she will drop the guilt and let lust take over.

To be honest I am glad my original didnt work out because my current is totallly uninhibited, completely different and i have 3 others in the pipeline too having moved on.

Even if it doesnt work out see it as a learning experience, even the most exerienced players can still learn, good luck with it, I know how you feel, its tough but beleive me you will come out the other side stonger.

If you want to chat more about it drop me a message on this board.

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fail to prepare, prepare to fail !

Sorry yours died man. Thanks for the advice. Lot's to report here. I'll make it short.

She called me 1 day after I posted. We've talked a little bit, agree it sucks not to talk to each other. She tells her husband flat out that she wants me in her life in some form and she won't quit talking to me. He calls me. We talk for awhile. He's exactly how she described. Real nice guy, considering who he's talking to. He's convinced I'm the reason she's leaving, asks me to please leave her alone. He says she's not the person he married, and changed in the last 6 months, I've known her for 3.

So now here's the conundrum. The guy honestly is a good guy. And he's pretty much a doormat. But he's put a guilt trip on me way worse than she did. Now trying to sort out the right thing to do. Right meaning I can live with myself.

I know she's gonna leave him. Think I should just back away and let her do it on her own terms? Lot's harder to do with a woman who's pretty much exactly who I want.

What do you think? I think I could have her if I wanted. But part of me wants to just slap the shit out of her husband and give him a link to this website and sey, here, do this, and maybe she'll actually quit looking for other guys.

What say you?

Well, it comes down to what you want.

This is not playing, this is serious stuff, you are talking about helping her to end a relationship. If its gonna happen anyway and you really want her go for it, but bear in mind if she's like that with him, will she be the same with you ?

Sounds like he has accepted its over and is clinging on to me.

I woldnt advise you in anyway on this one as I have never been in that postion, all I will say is you only live once so take what you can while you can.

Good luck, be interested to know how you get on.

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fail to prepare, prepare to fail !

I'll keep you posted.

I need to lay low I think for awhile and sort out what to do. Plus give her some time to really digest as well. I figure if she sticks by her decision without me influencing in any way, that'll make it easier. I talked to her for a long time last night. She says he wants her to go back to being who she used to be. She says she could if she wanted to, but she knows that isn't what she wants to do. She says she feels like she knows things now, like how sex is supposed to feel, that she doesn't want to go back to the way things were, and doesn't think she could be happy. She seems committed to easing the transition for her kids as much as possible. The thing with this girl is, she always seems to have the right answer. Kinda dumb, but I feel like she's the female equivalent of me. Maybe that's a bad thing. But I think I'm gonna tell her no contact for a week and see how things go.

That sounds sensible to me my friend.

I am seeing someone at the moment, she's single, i'm not, but she sounds like she was in a similar position to your woman there at one point and she eventually deicded she had to do what was best for her and left her husband, there was no one else invloved.

I think from what you say she will leave at some point, it sounds like the death throes of a relationship to me, just be careful she doesnt want her independance too much when she does leave or you might foind that although you were the catalyst, that you get cast aside.

i wish you the best of luck though, its tough when you get attached to people, let me know how you go.

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fail to prepare, prepare to fail !

So, here's the latest.

Monday night after a long talk she told me I wasn't influencing her decisions, and that she just could not go back to being what she was.

Tuesday, per a demand from my wife, I told her I would not talk to her until after Thursday. I agreed. Made sense to me. If you can't lay low for a days, there's nothing really there anyways.

Well, today she emailed saying she knows I can't TALK to her, but she found a loophole, she can email me....The main point of the email, she has reconsidered and per my recommendation, etc. she is going to go to marriage counseling. I suggested she do it mostly for her husband, plus make her more confident in the decision to leave, if she does. Her email makes it sound like she can make it work. Flip flops galore.

In our talk on Monday, we agreed after what we did, we couldn't be just friends. Now she wants to know if maybe that's possible.

This is what I'm taking:

1. I am influencing her decisions a lot.
2. We cannot just be friends if either one of us stays married to our current spouse, since the whole thing started behind closed doors.

I don't think I could handle knowing I was the reason she busted up a family. I didn't even pursue her until I had the feeling if it wasn't me, it would be someone else.

I think I'm going to sit for a day or so, and tell her if she knows she wouldn't cheat on him again, then she should stay and I'm going to bail. Then leave it sit for a few more days and see what she comes back with.

Sort of sucks to be in a marriage that makes you want to do this. I'm pretty sure if I was with this gal, I'd have no desire to game anyone. She's enough of a challenge all by herself.

Well, here's how it all played out, for anyone who's reading or trying to learn from this.

I spoke with her on Thursday, she hated the thought of me not being in her life somehow. Friday she had a blowout with the hubby. He gave her the ultimatum, no job, no phone, no internet, stay home and take care of the kids or leave. She chose leave. I could tell she wanted to do some soul searching, so I left her alone. She called Sunday, talked for just a few minutes.

I didn't talk to her again until Wendesday. I was in her area, but had some things to take care of and haul home, and it was getting late. She wanted me to come to see her. I told her I would have, but it was just getting too late. We talked for over an hour. She was leaning towards going back, thought maybe we could be email friends. I said I didn't think so, I wanted her again. She got all charged up again. I know I could have gone and layed her again. But I thought there would be more opportunities. Wrong I guess.

She called yesterday, said the right thing to do was work on her marriage, she couldn't do that while talking to me, and said this is goodbye. I was pissed at myself. Should have nailed her one more time before she went back. Funny part, the sex is so bad for her, I think I wanted to nail her again somewhat just to teach her some things to take back so she maybe would have some sort of sex life.

But anyways, that's how it ends I guess.

A husband with door-mat conditioning is not your problem. I know it sounds immoral but that's how social darwinism works. If she's not eloping with you, it'll be with some other guy. The fact is, a girl WILLING to cheat, will find a way to cheat. I see no reason to hold yourself back for some altruistic purpose when it won't prevent anything in the long run. Married women who want to have flings will have flings; it's a statistic for a reason.

As for her guilt trips and such, irrelevant. The initial guild will always subside if the attraction is high enough. What you need to do is take her through a roller coaster. Occasionally cut off contact to allow her to vividly imagine the possibility of you NOT BEING IN HER LIFE. Sounds like that's what you've been doing, and I suspect that this is exactly what drove her more towards you.

Someone else asked about girls who constantly have guilt trippy problems - it's another coping mechanism. Women love drama, some get it from tabloids, others will get it from constructed guilt complexes. Women will be women

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My Blog: www.solvemygirlproblems.com