Hi
usually I don't approach within the first 3 seconds...usually it's more like 10 minutes.
by that time, it feels so weird, I feel like a rapist. I don't know why.
If you have already missed the first 3 seconds, then how can you approach without looking weird? say she is sitting there for 10 minutes, then I suddenly get the courage to approach. What can I do so that it doesnt feel weird to her?
for example, today i was at this coffee shop, she was there for about 5 minutes. as she started to leave, I got up and started to follow her...but then i felt like a creepy rapist and decided to not do it.

haha that's the exact reason the 3 second rule was created.. to open before you let any anxiousness creep into your mind. You are psyching yourself out man! You know this.. apply it. you'll start having more success I'm sure.

Cheers

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I fail to see the problem?

The three second rule is for you, not her. It's to stop you from getting anxiety, not her. As long as you weren't sitting there staring at her for 10 minutes, giving her creepy "I want to fuck you" looks, there really isn't a big deal. You're only allowing anxiety to set in.

If she doesn't see you, how can she know you've been in there for 5 or 10 minutes? For all she knows, it's the first time she has seen you and you could well have been in there for three seconds prior to initiating the chat.

It's all technicalities. Personally, I wait to make eye contact before I approach. You know there is some level of interest if you catch her looking your way.

But in regards to your question, just because you didn't approach within three seconds doesn't mean you're a creepy rapist.

I will be honest, I do stare. not for 10 minutes, but like I am staring at her and as soon as she looks, i look away, pretending that i wasnt staring. so that's why i feel like a creepy rapist when i am about to approach because she will think "oh, its that creepy guy that kept looking"

No, you look like a creepy guy because you look away when she turns. She figures out you're looking, but wonders what you are planning since you're trying to do it discretely. In a woman's mind, secret staring = stalker. If you wanna get around breaking the 3 second rule, start following the damn rule. It's only there for YOUR benefit. Rather than look for excuses, just start approaching immediately.

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fuck that rule dude, just approach anyway.. It'll build you up and soon you'll be opening within 3 seconds. Who cares how you feel.. Just do it anyway. You don't always feel like getting up and going to work everyday do you? But what happens if you don't? Exactly.. Just approach, no matter how long it takes you to do it. What really matters is you manned up and approached. It'll begin to come easier and easier. I'm at the point now when I don't even no I'm going to approach anymore. It's just instinctual.

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Yea I agree with that but most guys will sit and think and think and think about this could happen that could happen what if and it just recycles and recycles then they won't approach. The more you approach the less anxiety you get. My whole approach anxiety broke in high school when we all had to do speeches lol by the end of high school I'd end up winging it.