if you tell a girl that you want her and be with her but she likes someone else and says to you that she still wants to be friends BUT you say to her that you dont want to do that and cut her off however being civil with her because you're in the same group of friends, can you get back in there after a long period of time of having no interaction with her and it doesnt work out with the other guy?

Side question: she said it was selfish of me to not want to continue being friends because i didnt want to continue being friends with her. is she right to call me selfish?

Good call man. If you can't handle being just friends with her and choose to make the decision to just be civil, then you my friend are exercising your masculinity. If she calls you selfish, you're damn right! You have expectations of people and if she can't fit them then that is not your problem. I find that a good way to get back in would to just straight up not take her shit and do your own thing. She will either fight to get back in herself (make her work for it) or there will be a chance opportunity that will just happen to come up. If that chance comes up, then you just chat and be civil. Then you can gauge wether or not she is worth your time at that point. You are the man and you make the decisions. If she wants to call you selfish, it's only because she wants to make sure that you really mean what you say, like a real man should.

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"I'm not a player, I just know how to quickly and efficiently remove a woman from my life when I figure out that she isn't good for me. If everyone has a soulmate out there somewhere, then I'm on a mission to find mine"

Honestly, you don't know who's on her mind right now. You could try to reconnect, and it may work out, but she may be thinking about another guy entirely. You would seem needy and pathetic, coming back when she has her eye on someone else.

On the other hand, if you were going for someone else and she tried to reconnect, then you'll have two options, and you're in the best position.

Stand by a sexual frame, never let her be "just a friend."

Seville009 - great minds think alike. if i cant be #1 then why settle for second place. cutting her off is and being at the very least civil (hi, bye only in group situations) is just reinforcing to her that i'm not going to do nothing and stay on the sidelines if i want to be with her.

Slip n Slide - the whole needy and pathetic thing one reason why im holding my ground to just be civil with her.

This could be a silly question but, we're in the same circle of friends. If she organises nights out and invites everyone but me, do i do the same or do i invite her so it looks like i dont really care if shes there and wanting her to see me pick up etc?

Here are some points that i shouldve mentioned in the first post:
-I'm planning to not have anything to do with her for an extended amount of time (ie. 6~ months) and wont be overly nice to her in a group setting.
-She's 20, never been kissed, likes some other guy, the other guy likes her but he hasnt made a move on her and it's been a year. I did the AFC thing and said to her that hes stringing her along and that shes waiting for something that's never going to happen because if he really wanted her he would've made the move a long time ago. towards the end of the convo with her i tried to salvage any last chance and i used straw man theory and said to her that i hope he treats her like a princess and gives her everything she wants in a guy (building him up way past hes capabilities without even criticizing him)
-i'm confident that the other guy still wont make a move in coming months.
-long story short: we started as friends and took no interest in her, we got close to the point where she wanted to do everything together and was phoning me almost every day (?). i did the AFC thing and told 2 of our mutual friends that i liked her later on down the track. she found out but carried on like she didnt know. i was going to europe, i wanted to get over her i told her that i wanted space, she wanted to know why i wanted space, i told her i'd tell her after europe. 1 month before i leave i told her. around the same time this is all happening the other guy has told her that he liked her etc. since me telling her that i liked her it feels as if i cant interact with her properly because shes conscience that if she does something with me im going to take it that she likes me (which is something she doesnt want obviously). honestly, so much drama - this is the surface haha

Fuck another girl

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These hos ain't loyal

This works. Seriously, things just work themselves out in your head when you are fucking other chicks. Oh hey "you tried to kill me on the way to a bus stop 10 days ago, o well, that's life, anyways i gotta go fuck the shit outa someone bye see ya later ;D love ya."

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Bow chika wow wow

You mean your going to wait around and sit on your ass while she's banging another dude... Just so you can have a shot with her after she already rejected you? Look your self in the mirror and punch yourself in the face.. I'll wait.......................................................... Get a fucking grip dude, your going to read this post in 2 months and regret ever making it..

Inner game section dude, go check it out.. Your self esteem is a hella lot higher than what your projecting here.. Just locate it and let it fill you from the bottom up.

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Email me: EddieFews@WayOfThePlayer.com For 1 on 1 coaching or consultation via SPAM, phone or IM.

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I'm going to assume that you have kissed a girl by now. But if she hasn't even been kissed and she is 20 years old, I would definitely suggest not only staying away for an extended period of time to help keep her out of your mind so your not thinking about her, but moving on completely. There are always exceptions to the rule but there is a reason she hasn't been kissed. And you don't want to find out why. That is just not natural. Either guys instinctively know not to kiss her or she is so much in a "princess" mind state that she will become that crazy, needy, stalker type when it happens.

You may not be able to see it from where you are at now, I've been there too, but I think that moving on is your best option if everything you've said is accurate. The way I see it is you can't get better at your game if you're trying to play with someone who has never played before. Sure, you may learn a thing or two, but you can learn so much more in shorter periods of time with girls that have at least some experience. Either way, keep us informed.

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"I'm not a player, I just know how to quickly and efficiently remove a woman from my life when I figure out that she isn't good for me. If everyone has a soulmate out there somewhere, then I'm on a mission to find mine"