Heya guys,

I've recently met this girl at college, We hang out a bit, started talking on facebook and things started to hit off very well.
I knew she had a boyfriend so I took things slowly and tried testing my limits, but tonight things went to far and I'm in deep shit with myself.
We went out for day 2 at a party tonight, and she pretty much confessed to me, saying she feels really good with me, started hugging me, and when i kissed her on the cheek, she grabbed me and hugged me really hard, It's obvious she likes me.

The issue I have is, I like this girl.. Alot, and just K-closing / F-closing is not the way I wanna go, it's the girl I wanna get to know better and actually form a relationship with, but it's hard, she still likes her boyfriend.

It's against my moral to break her relationship and make our own (unless I was retarded), the end-result, I didn't K-close her, but instead I told her to think twice before she says something else.

Ofcourse she became confused with herself and at the end of the night she texts me saying ''I dont like the fact that U didn't say anytihng to me at the end'', Well duh, what do u expect me to say? I was fucking confused.

I texted her cool and said, she shouldn't worry and she said ''I dont wanna lose you, but I still love my boyfriend'' and from that moment I honestly stopped caring, I didn't text back nor do i have the intention too, I think it's up to her to think things through..

Am I doing the right stuff, or am i just being an asshole?

Can someone give me advice on this one?.. It's kinda.. super tough. Sigh.

a little boyfriend destroying might be in order if you really like this chick. Don't come off as cold hearted, though. At least that's what I think. Just let her know you have other options and aren't going to be waiting in the corner like some AFC. Now get to talking to some other girls that aren't taken.

I agree with bxhangout22, pretty much hit the nail on the head. I think you've done well so far.

The only thing with doing this is she'll always know that she left a guy for you.. Which is going to make her repeat this process once she's with you..

You reap what you sow buddy..

I advise completely cutting her off all together and moving on with your life. I mean no answering no matter what she texts you.. This will elevate you mentality toward women and cause tons of women you "like a lot" to flock to you like birds after bread crumbs.

_________________
Email me: EddieFews@WayOfThePlayer.com For 1 on 1 coaching or consultation via SPAM, phone or IM.

Now You Can Read My Articles Here! ------------> http://wayoftheplayer.com/category/play ... fews-tips/

I agree with Fuze. I also liked how you didn't respond back and stopped caring. Let her figure out that bullshit... don't get involved in unnecessary drama.

As far as using the BF destroyer like The Straw Man... I would only use that if you're shooting for a ONS.

She keeps texting me she was crying and that she didn't wanna lose me blablabla, kept saying sorry, that she messed stuff up, blablabla again...

I know that I am having 2 options right now.


1) Confess to her, talk to her, and I'm 100% positive I can crack her open.
2) Let her be, and move on.

For some god known reason, I'm most likely going for the second option (Denial with myself). I like the girl alot, we have alot in common and she's someone who got me texting for hours straight which pretty much no girl has managed to do so in 2.5 years.
My biggest fear, the moment I would confess completely that she either.

1) Choses her boyfriend, and starts to say crap just to not lose me as a friend
2) Choses me, but eventually we will have issues because of the matter, like ^ mentioned, what comes around, goes around.

I think the option is quite clear, I will do my best not to be cold on her, but I know for sure she wont be able to accept the fact that I cant be texting her day in / day out anymore, or meet up together etc and eventually our relation will break.

Sigh.. It's still fucked up, either way.

If you can successfully execute this bro I can promise you that a better girl will walking into your life really soon.

Just know that this girl is going to come hard after you, because NO guys ( well no guys she's met, guys that get laid often) has been able to resist such desperate attempts.

This is only stage one, she's going to come after you hard..

Like a said, you reap what you sow.. Let her go, and something better will find its way to you.

She's indecisive and living a life full of drama purposely, thats guaranteed issues in the long run . Life throws test at us with opportunities to rise mentally spiritually and physically.. Heres yours, its bigger than the girl, this is about your own development.

_________________
Email me: EddieFews@WayOfThePlayer.com For 1 on 1 coaching or consultation via SPAM, phone or IM.

Now You Can Read My Articles Here! ------------> http://wayoftheplayer.com/category/play ... fews-tips/

It just is hard mate, she's gonna take the blame on herself, nothing I could've done. I know her very well, we are super close. I know she shouldn't and she brought it up herself, but You know how women work.

I know every detail about her, I talked very deep with her, we both go at the same school, she's a thinker. I think I'm gonna destroy her if I just toss it away and pretend nothing ever happend.

Excuses are the nails that build the house of failure..

Its time to grow up and be a man.. You aren't responsible for her.. She put herself in this situation knowing she had a boyfriend. She enjoys the drama, I've seen her kind many many many times dude.. Take my word on this.

Will you elevate yourself or dig a deeper hole? Nice guys do indeed always finish last.

_________________
Email me: EddieFews@WayOfThePlayer.com For 1 on 1 coaching or consultation via SPAM, phone or IM.

Now You Can Read My Articles Here! ------------> http://wayoftheplayer.com/category/play ... fews-tips/

Yeah, I'm sure you are right, I've decided to follow your advice.
Giving in to the situation will only make things worse, I'll be the one carrying her burden. Suppose giving in is the easier way AFC's tend too follow.

Good words of advice bro, appreciated.

Fuze is right. Forget what I said. Ignore this broad, she seems to be dickin around and your time is too valuable for that.

Yeah suppose that's best, I guess no matter how it escalates, I should just avoid her?

She keeps texting me that she wants to talk.. -_-'

well the way I see it you have a few options,
if you want to really get to know her better and be her boyfriend etc. then you should just sleep with her, let that be that, continue to do so, destroy her boyfriend, and expect that she will also cheat on you, or leave you for another guy when the time comes, once a cheater always a cheater

or you could just drop this girl, stop talking to her indefinately until you find someone better, don't tell her why, don't be super cold on her or anything, just cut contact down to nothing, she will start initiating and trying hard not to lose you if you are important to her, but you have to resist your own urge to give her attention, every time I have been in a waste of time situation like this and I feel attached, I just delete the number, delete the text logs (so I can't search her number from them), then keep contact strictly to her texting me, and treat it like a freeze out, I don't ask questions only answer them and make dead end statements until contact between us is dead, it gets really hard but you will thank yourself after you put some emotional distance between her and you so you can move on with your life, often it seems easier to just stick with a girl you are really into when you know there is a good chance you can get her, but really if she has a boyfriend you have to consider if the ends justify the means and how happy you will be knowing she will either waste your time or likely cheat on you in the end, it is really easy to remain complacent with what you have when you like what you have, but you can do so much better for yourself if you get motivated and keep putting in the work to achieve a greater ends

it really sucks dick to cut yourself off from a girl you like, but if you don't want your life to start sucking and get hooked on a girl that is a waste of time then this seems like the best option

Its only stage one dude, like i said.. She's going to come harder.. Ignore all text and calls.

When she comes up to you in school, just casually say " I'm just not getting involved with that situation, your a sweet girl but I'm going to move along with my life now... cya"

And your real dream girl will only be milliseconds away... Its just the way it works bro.. Its the laws of nature, similar to the law of gravity.. If you give in, its equivalent to jumping off a building expecting to fly.. It's suicide and your reward(dreamgirl) will be come further from you.. This situation is a stepping stone to her.

_________________
Email me: EddieFews@WayOfThePlayer.com For 1 on 1 coaching or consultation via SPAM, phone or IM.

Now You Can Read My Articles Here! ------------> http://wayoftheplayer.com/category/play ... fews-tips/

After receiving countless messages of ''I wanna talk to you, dont wanna lose you'', I decided to have a little chat with her, not to make her feel better, but for me making things clear.

I think cutting off contact completely is not neccesary, I know her situation very well and I can understand why she's having trouble, I kinda did get along with her, TOO well .

It made me feel good to get into this stage, we started off as friends, and she ended up falling in love with me, I shouldn't be judgemental because she fell in love with me, I'm sure we can remain friends as off now.

I dont have the intention to only sleep, kiss girls and get numbers, but expand my social network and meet some cool people to hang out with, she's one of category 2, so basically, I'd prefer to friend-zone her.


Anyway,

About the texts, I told her to not talk about the situation, let it be, and move on as friends, that I wont be texting alot and that we can just talk, get back to our normal lives and that I'll be moving on.
I've decided to follow some tricks I saw, just think of the negative things rather then the positive about seeing her as a girlfriend, it worked alot more then I thought.
I'm already texting to alot more girls, kept contact with her and generally, feeling better about the whole situation then I was doing before this stuff even happend.

Thanks for the advices, used some things and it helped out alot, gotten out more experienced / stronger again, so yeah.. thanks alot .