I'm just curious. When should you tell your date that you aren't paying for her dinner? Should you wait til the check comes or let her know ahead of time? I have always been the guy that pays for dinner, but I am repeatedly seeing advice to do the opposite. I don't want to look like a cheap bastard but I don't want to keep spending my hard earned money.

Believe it or not girls usually are expecting to split the bill for the dinner. Just, some guys feel pressured if they don't pay for the whole dinner. So in other words she is expecting to pay until a guy says "no I'll pay the whole bill". So what I suggest is that you should wait till the check and tell her ok lets split the bill. Say it in a way like you expect it. If she does get upset or thinks your cheap she is most probably a gold digger and why would you want this type of girl.

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"Experience is the teacher of all things"

This has been covered so many times with a variety of answers!

If I invite her, I will pay (unless she offers to split the bill)

Sometimes it's better to fork up the 20 whole dollars and not look like a cheap tool. I have never asked a women to pay for the dinner that I invite her too.

BUT I have been asked to come to dinner and I would joke "Your treat right" or some shit like that and then take the free meal. I agree with above poster, most normal girls will offer to pay half or get next night out on her.

Alright guys,

I always personally pay for the first date, i feel it is almost expected. After all I invited her out, so I am taking her out! This can't be done for ever tho as it will become expensive and become an unbalanced relationship. If she is well mannered then she will generally suggest to pay or at least offer to split the bill, which i feel is appropriate.

I would never put it on the girl once we are already sat at the table, saying something along the lines of "your paying' for starters she might not have enough money then it puts her in an awkward position. If I have invited her out I will generally offer to pay but if we have been out twice or more and i have paid on both occasions, then i will say something along the lines off "So when are you going to take me out?" then it is put on her to take me out next time.

However if she does object to this, i will always ask for her reasoning. After listening to her excuse i will say something like "do you not find it unbalancing the relationship if i always pay?" or something to do with equality as females will always use this to their benefits so it can be turned around for our benefit in this situation. You can always through in some stuff about how successful relationships require each party to meet in the middle and that this is making you carry the relationship single handily, does she not care?

The final approach is to play hard ball completely and say "I will have to call you to arrange another date as i have other financial obligations at the moment, which are priority to treating you". This can be taken badly but she needs to recognize that you have other commitments and the fact you are taking her out she should be lucky.

Peace, Cola x

If you invite the girl for dinner, YOU'RE PAYING! If you don't, this is a major DLV. This is a DLV because you lack social intuition. Guys who have a good sense of social intuition would pay for the girl's dinner in that situation. By paying you are DHV'ing, not by showing off your money b/c most guys can pay for a girls dinner, but by demonstrating your understanding of social intuition.

i pretty much always pay. but then again, i dont really do "dates" with girls im not sleeping with. well, now that i think about it, i dont really do "dates" at all. so i pay, but its doesnt really come up all that often.

basically what im trying to say is stop doing "first dates" and then you dont have this problem.

if you absolutely, positively HAVE to take a girl out for dinner (despite the millions of other better, more fun, cheaper 'dates'), then just pay. ill sometimes say something like "ill get this, you can pay next time". but lets be honest, next time really never comes. its better that she owes you anyway so that you can get her to give you a message or cook dinner for you at her place. for obvious reasons, those things are much better than her taking you out and she can always do them no matter how broke she is.