Basically I asked a co-worker to hang out with me recently, she said yes but didn't. I smoke and she doesn't anymore so it went like this:

Me: I'm off work the next two days, I have a ton of stuff to do during the day but we should hang out after.
HB: As long as you don't try to slowly kill me with second hand smoke.(joking I think was a text message)

So I hit her up the next day to set a date and she says she busy with work,school, ect.. and that she would have free time in a week or so.


Now I'm wounding if she just didn't want to go out with me, and said to ask her again later because I'm a co-worker and she doesn't want it to be wierd at work or was she just really busy at the time?


She has been giving me IOI's I think, but is often very shy around me wont even start conversations, doesn't call or text me but will reply to every text I send her. Most girls at my work are very physical around me hugs,touching my shoulder,leaning on me ect. She is not like this with me, but is very physical with her friends mostly girls and a couple dudes.



This girl is very hard to read.

What do you guys think?

I don't think she's hard to read at all you've told me what I need to know.

Okay let's analyze what you just said a little bit. You said "you think she's sending you IOIs" I'm not sure what these were but I'm pretty sure you misinterpreted.

For example, one of the biggest IOIs to look for is when a girl reinitiates conversation after you stop talking because she wants you around, and you said she doesn't do this.

Furthermore, you said that she is touchy feely with other people including guys, but not you. Third, she doesn't ever text or call you on her own. You have to call her or text her. Now you said she replies back and she's doing that because it's the polite thing to do.

I hate to be the one to tell you all this, but it sounds like it's time to move on and find another girl. Who knows maybe by moving on you'll show the preselection quality and she'll become interested again.

_________________
Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

She's not interested, and you didn't do anything to get her interested. You said it yourself and described the very IODs she was displaying. Her saying "she's busy" is her polite way of saying "sorry buddy, not interested." The best thing you can do is reinvent yourself, and make yourself a great conversationalist that is fun to be around. At that point, I imagine she'll love to "hang out" with. So far the past two weeks, I've managed to get two Hooter's waitresses to buy me a beer...lol One of them frankly told me that she should be paying me for the enjoyment rather than me paying. I agreed...lol



ps. don't game co-workers.

what's wrong with gaming co workers?

I don't even think I need to answer this one. I'm sure you are smart enough to see the dangers involved. I'll just leave you with my favorite quote in regards to this.


Never get your honey, where you get your money.

or this phrase which is my favorite don't shit where u eat.

I normally agree that it's not a good idea to game co-workers but I really don't care about this job and a lot of people at my work are doing the same thing.

Oh well thanks for the advice guys, time to move on.

She is not intrested...

Her response was not when her setiment changed.

Hypotheticlly lets assume she was intrested up till that statement. One of two reasons this statemnt was made.

-She is busy
-She was stalling/putting it off

The first reason is obvious and the thing to do is to let her bring it up and arrange it.

The second reason is a little more ambiguous and needs some elaboration.

One possibility is that she said this because she likes you but isnt comfortable enuff with you yet to go out just the 2 of you. From now on the first meeting between you and a target when you invite them out should be along with you and others. This way your just inviting her out were you are going anyway.

The second possibility is that you did or said something that made her lose intrest, this could even be a past event she heard about from someone else. It may be simply asking her out at the wrong time (too early) or maybe some shit test you failed right before you asked her.


HOWEVER, in this case you never had her. I would ignore her and move on. If at a later point she becomes intrested then game away.

_________________
-Ka-
"Be the same, only better."

If a girl tells me sh's busy, I say "oh... washing your hair are you " and you sometimes get the microexpression smile thing, I take that as not interested.

and yeah I dated a co-worker, big mistake, got bored straight away of seeing her 24/7 then she did the old "get with my manager" trick luckily I wasn't attached to her but still... Never again

We'll Ka both of those possibility could be the reason. She is a 5 MAYBE a 6 on her best day, and I'm not sure she is use to male attention. I'm no 10 but I do know I could do a lot better then her. That was my attitude while talking to her, infact I didn't really game her all that much. I was just a total dick most of the time.


I'm still very new to these forums, and before I only listened to Tom leykis. I'll try some of the stuff I learned from this forums next time I talk to one of my HB.

hey fellaz

I had the same thought and came here to read the posts. Now I work with a few beautiful girls and one caught my attention.

Now she always asks questions and even contacts me first on yahoo. She has a BF so I never hit on her too hard to avoid office awkwardness. We hung out a few times with co-workers and recently without her BF at the location.

We started to build a good rapport with inside jokes and she even texted me at 11pm when she was alone. I asked about the text and she didnt meet up with her BF that night but went home instead. She wanted to know if I was still around her area that night.

Now I asked her to hang to isolate her for kino & increased flirting. Now she says "I would but I'm always busy".

I dont know what this means because she wasn't busy that night a couple weeks ago. Avoiding the FZ here so I say hi when I come in and cut off conversation to get back to work as a man in control. One friend of mine says she's no longer attracted but she always starts conversation with me. Feeling mixed signals and looking for similar thoughts on the subject.

doodly/proof/others-

when a girl says shes "too busy" to hang out with you, she's just not interested.

now in a perfect world a girl would be like "well, i was kinda into you, but you did X, and i lost all attraction for you" and come totally clean and be straight with you, but they wont. because theyre social. and they dont want shit to be awkward. especially at work. they just want to avoid confrontation and have things smooth over as quickly as possible.

the good news is that since you work with the girl, she has the chance to see you interact with other girls that work there and that could spark some jealousy and maybe get her interested again. i wouldnt count on it, though. the best thing to do is move on. you need to still interact with her and be friendly (very important not only because you work together but also because you dont want her to think that she hurt you by rejecting you), just stop pursuing her romantically. dont give her the cold shoulder or be a dick to her in any way.

as far as dating co-workers, (and btw how come nobody said 'dipping your pen in the company inkwell'? thats my personal favorite.) obviously every situation is unique and you need to use some discretion and common sense. if youre a college kid working a part time summer job at mickey d's, then by all means fuck every hot chick that works there.

otoh, if youre a high level manager currently working your well-paying dream job in a company that you worked your way up to the top of after 15 years, you probably dont wanna potentially ruin that by banging the new entry-level chick in accounting.

as a general rule, id say that the more important the job is to you and the more you have to see the girl (makes a HUGE difference if you work side-by-side with her for 40 hrs a week versus just occasionally crossing paths with her), the less likely you should be to date her. theres just so many great girls out there that getting with one that could possibly make your life miserable if shit goes wrong just isnt worth the short term pleasure.