Been gaming this girl from class. After class she asked me if I was going to the train station. This is the first time we walked together to the station.

I think I fucked up. So this girl was telling me how her ex wanted to give her a sandwich or some shit and she was going to wait for him at my train stop. I was curious to see wtf this guy looked like cause she told me he’s white and has dreads so I waited. I saw it as an opportunity to just talk to her also. Anyways, I got her laughing a lot. It was pretty much all laughing and smiling the whole time. We waited about 15 minutes until he drove up with his friend. He didn’t see us together though cause she had to walk down a flight of stairs to get to the car.

Me: I didn’t see dreads
Her: U couldn’t get a good look! What a let down…sorry man!

Does it mean I’m friendzoned if a girl uses the word "man" on me like that? I swear to god this bitch was really into me.

I sent her another text later saying I was sorry that I stayed when her ex came and she replied with "What are u talking about lol no its fine it was fun you kept me company!"

I feel like you might be able to tell me what's up Don. Am I overanalyzing this simple text?

Ok Don, I am progressing with this last blonde (the one that I blew it big time few days ago).

I tried to set up meeting today and she said she would really love to but she cant and she would like to go somewhere on the weekend....

Nevertheless she seems into me. But I don't really know how to respond sometimes, e.g. conversation just few minutes ago:

she: blablab about school she want's to go to blabla
me: yeah I mean... you can do anything if you really want to. Its just about the mentality. you remember how I taught you about meditation

(it's actually when I kissed her first time, I told her I would teach her meditation and when she closed her eyes I kissed her very gently )

she: Yeah you are right. But about the think you taught me! It was a really ugly trick from you!

me: oh... Well to I think from some point of view it was very very romantic

1) she: Yes you are right but it felt little nasty

2) me: Yeah a little, but it was just so spontaneous, I didn't think about dirtyness

3) she: I don't know how to respond to this But yeah there is something about it

(now me making a pun)
me: Yeah there certainly was something in it blabla good night
...


I mean... When she wrote (1) I realized it is pretty positive and she really likes to think of the kiss. I wrote (2) because I really didn't know how to respond. (3) from her seems OK but also a little "confused" which I don't really like. I want her to be turned on and like me! Not to be fucking confused!

I don't know... Thinking about it more I realize I should have been more direct somehow... Reminding her how nice the kiss was and how great it felt.... Instead of constructing complicated sentence 2.

I'm new to this site and new to PU in general, but in the week I've been here, it's been a veritable gold mine of information. The last week alone of reading up on all the material found on this site has already proven to drastically change the way I approach and deal with ladies. I've read through 20 - 25 pages of this thread and I have to say, I'm incredibly impressed with not only you, Don, but many of the members who have posted. Your advice has been amazing though.

I run a website and deal with a lot of members and have flirted for years over IM and on forums, so I feel like my text game is much better than my game when there's no screen between me and her, but this is my first time to try to purposefully escalate things between me and this girl. And I wanted to paste some of the convo up and get someone's opinion of how this went and if you'd consider this pretty good. Should I turn things up a bit more?

HB7 messaged me 2 days ago now, and we exchanged some messages for about a day before she asked me if I wanted her number. I got it and we began texting this morning. It's been an all day thing that stopped when I eventually had to go for a run. I've trimmed it as much as I could.

----------

We start texting, blah blah... work and school. Then I talk about how I might finish college [only two semesters left] but how I'm not sure if its necessary as I'm making headway in my field.)

HB7: Yeah, sounds like you don't even need to. Tell me about your job.

Me: Well, the first one is just to pay the bills for now. Gives me a free apartment though, which is huge. The pay isn't bad. Allows me to live according to means which I've become accustomed. (Job description here)

Me: My second job, I'm an ass model

HB7: Haha what??

Me: You know. An ass model. Stand in for guys who don't have remarkable butts when they need one for film. Or advertising. Whatever's needed

HB7: Lmao...you're kidding.

Me: Yea

Me: I'm a writer. My dream is to write, draw and gfx full time while traveling the world

HB7: Bahaha I was about to say, that's quite intimidating sir. I just might not be good enough for you

HB7: Sounds like it would be interesting

Me: I dunno. The question still might be open for debate. It's a great ass

HB7: Oh really... The question of me not being good enough? I'd have to agree..

Me: Aw. Where's the faith? Guess we'll have to wait and see. I bet you surprise yourself

HB7: Meh. You've got it all together and im just figuring things out. You are a tad older than me though . I'll get there soon enough!

(We talk a bit more then there's a lull because I'm busy with work. probably twenty mins. or so)

HB7: Did you know that making out for an hour burns 500 calories!

Me: Bet 600 is possible

HB7: I do too...depends on the intensity, I'm sure.

Me: Of course. Intense is the only way to do it. That's when it's the most fun

HB7: I completely agree

Me: Good. Because I'm usually right :p

Me: 600 calorie making our sounds better than this job right now. I might even take fancy schmancy family members over it

Me: - makes shooting motions with his finger at job-

HB7: Oh, you're smooth. And correction: I am always right.

Me: I'm not smooth at all. Especially when autocorrect rears its ugly head

Me: And I challenge that statement

HB7: Haha, bring it on sugah

Me: Do I get to give you a pet name too?

HB7: If you want

Me: Anything goes?

HB7: Um...yes?

Me: Haha So I can make it as sickly cute and cheesy as I want?

HB7: Lmao...might as well

Me: Okay. It's a tie between Miss KittenButtercup and Make-out girl

HB7: Oh god...rofl

Me: The first one is kind of a mouthful

HB7: I concur

Me: But the second one is kind of a mouthful. Metaphorically speaking

HB7: That's true

Me: I think I'll stick with (HB7)

HB7: It suits me

Me: Besides, it's a pretty name. I've always liked it

HB7: Good!

Me: Really? How does (HB7) suit you?

HB7: Eh...idk. everyone that gets to know me tells me that. And I like it better than the full name.

Me: So we'll save (full name of HB7) for when you're in trouble

HB7: Haha ok

-------------

And that's where I left off. Sorry if it's too long and you don't want to read it. I cut out quite a bit but the stuff I thought was relevant to text game, but feel free to tell me to eff off if it's too much. I'm still working out etiquette here.

She approached me first off, offered me my number, and went in with a reopener talking about the making out statistic. I feel like I've been pretty aggressive, but am I being aggressive enough. (Btw, she lives about an hour away from me and I'm going to be out of town this weekend, so we have plans to go out Tuesday night. How do I keep the tension high for that long a period of time?

Hi Don,

Another game, another question. So I met this girl in school 3,5 years ago. She just got in a relationship a week before I met her. So we stayed friends, she knows a lot of hb's. So now we have class together again and she tells me that she's moving out of the apartment she lives with the boyfriend. Not to end of the relationship but just some time to think (nonsense hmm?). Today was our last day of class together so I told her tlo have drink with me. She says she's going out with the boyfriend, calls him up and tells him that she's going to be later because she's first going for drinks with me.

Had the drinks, had a nice time, no close (already have her number, fb and so on, known her for 3,5 years). Now here's the question: should I now start some boyfrienddestroyertype texting? Or something else?

I could go with something like: your boyfriend is great! He gives you time and space to hang out with friends even when you promised to have a good time with him.

Is this an idea?

Once again thank you for investing time in all of us!

Hey Don

To start with I want to apologize for poor grammar nd English, have not had enough time for reading it through nd correcting it.

So I have a problem SPAM, which I was wondering if you could give me some advice on.
I meet a girl at a party for a few weeks ago (let’s call her A), and k-closed her. Afterwards I spent an evening with her; almost f-closed (gave me LMR, said she wanted to wait a bit, because she didn’t know me that well).
We’ve been texting back and forth (I’ve been trying to be a complete douche in my texts, so I can get out of “relationship zone (RZ)” which most girls tend to put me in).

*Would like some advice how to get out of this zone*

Some days ago, I was walking down a street, saw a cute girl (let’s call her B), went over and introduced myself. She had to go somewhere, so she left after a few minutes. Met her again the next day, invited her + her friends over for some drinks before bouncing to the clubs. She already made other plans, so she refused (not a rejection).
Saw her at a club the same night, k-closed her, gave her my number nd got her full name. When I came home I Facebook-stalked her, found out she was friends with “A”, but didn’t think more about it.

And now for the problem:
Next night I was at a club, where “A”, came, with some friends, to see me. I ended up kissing her her. Suddenly I look up, and “B” is coming down the stairs with some of her friends, she sees me, and freaks out a bit (“A” does not see her). “A”’s friends want to leave, but she would like to stay, because of me. She was quite drunk, told me she was glad she came and if I were to? and so on. (A sign for her beginning to RZ me). I told her to go with them, because I was leaving in 1 hour, and I didn’t think she should walk home alone (we were in a “dangerous” area).
Earlier I have been offering her to come home to my apartment, but she refused because she had been forgetting to take her pills, and she thought using condoms is disgusting. (SPAM I was sure she was DTF, and it wasn’t just an excuse)

“A” walked to the toilet, and I walked over to talk with “B”. Had a quite awkward feeling. Found out that “A” and “B” had been friends since they were children (but have been falling a bit apart the last few years). “A” came back to say goodbye, did see me standing next to “B” but didn't realize the “connection”. To withdraw her attention, I kissed her goodbye.
After “A” left, I started to talk with “B” again. I could see she felt strange. So I felt I needed to be an AFC in the situation and apologized. She said it was ok, “it doesn’t matter, we aren’t together or anything” but I could see that it bothered her. She admitted she felt weird seeing me kissing “A” goodbye next to her, and that she should have known I was a player. I ended up “saving it” as well as I could, and started kissing with her just before leaving. When I left, she asked me to consider what I would be doing.

So, actually I don’t know what my question is. Should be said, that I’m not at all interested in a relationship.

If it was you being in this situation what would you do?

_________________
*Enigma*

Hey, First time posting here, just looking for some advice

First year at university, going after a 2nd year who is a solid 9, but is also a virgin. I'd date this girl if I got the chance. We were kind of awkwardly introduced about a week ago, I had told my buddy that I thought she was gorgeous, and he called her over and we were introduced. Talked too her a couple more times that day (and at a party that night) but nothing really came of it. The next day she added me on facebook. The day after that I saw her in the library, approached her and got her number.

We've only texted over the course of one day, and now that university reading week is going on (basically spring break, so she's gone for 9 days) I'm not sure what to do.

Our conversation wasn't too long, and I'm worried that with the long break she might lose interest over time, but at the same time I definitely don't want to text her too much, or maybe not at all..

Here was our convo (when she put in her name she put in Kellt instead of Kelly):

Me : Wow, feels great to be done midterms

Her: Whos this?

Me: Jake, must have forgot about me

Her: Haha well i didnt get to add your number to my phone so how was i supposed to know!

Me : Hah I guess thats fair. It took me a few days to realize you were "Kellt" though

Her: Hahah shit.. you can change that to a "y" if you want

Me: Well I kinda like Kellt though, you dont mind if I call you that do you?

Her: Nooooo way

Me: I think I might.. what're you up to tonight

Her: (talks about how she went home for the break)

Me : Oh ok, is that where you're from?

Her: Yesssir

Me: Sounds like a good time, have a good break

Her: You too!!


Not really sure whether to keep just not text her at all over the break, or how to start it if I should send her something.. Any advice? Im fine with just a hook up with this girl, but I'd rather date her if that changes things.. any advice or criticism appreciated

You wanted me to point out where it died down? Well, the highlights speak for themselves, really.

Here's a pro-tip: If you want to ask a girl out, don't ask them. TELL them. Tell them that you're taking them out on so-and-so day at so-and-so time and at so-and-so place and they should dress casual/nice/whatever. Women like.. cross that, women WANT men to take the lead. Not behave in the whole coy way about it or like you did there, ask her out cause you want to have a "way out" from a commitment you made. Even if that's not true, it sounds disrespectful. So, next time make it all about her in the message, if you want to ask her out and TELL her that you're taking her out. If she objects, eliminate the objections one by one and you'll get yourself a date in a far easier way than the shenanigans of indirect approach.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

Yeah. APOEL are really turning heads. But, man I am following the UEFA Cup (WTF!) cause United have been plying their trade there. Anyway, PM me and I'll give you my facebook page. We can talk there.

On to the question..
Well, to be honest, that's a load of superficial BS that you're springing on her. I cannot stress it enough to guys that they need to talk about the girl and not about some third object or party with her. So, no talk of "flowers" and "gifts" and "perfumes" and other shit like that and more talk of her, her "naughty secrets", her "passions" and her "body" and stuff like that. Get creative.

It's no secret, women LOVE to talk about themselves. They would do it all the time, if they could, but no one seems to be interested (yeah, trust me. All those idiots who are showering them with attention are focused on getting sex from her for their own selves). If you can be that guy who's ACTUALLY interested in getting to know them without strings (well, she doesn't have to know that you too just wanna have sex with her), then she'll open her mind, body and heart to you faster than a millionaire buying her a bar full of drinks.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

If you don't really meet her , then I gotta ask you what's the point here?

I mean, I could give you advice, but that would just be to message her and apologise for your faults the first time (apologize just once) and then, pretend like those chain of events never happened unless she brings them up. Then, you can tell her that you're "realized something" and similar crap and then, shift the focus back on her and continue on. I won't tell you to alter anything dramatically cause what you seemed to be doing the first time, worked well. Keep at it.

But, let's be pragmatic. She seems a lot of time and effort with very little pay off. I'd suggest you to look elsewhere.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

What the hell is wrong with you, man?

See! I used man too!

It means jack squat, is what it means. Usually, take everything positively unless she's calling your "bro" and means it too. Then, it's a red flag.

Now, to the situation. Why talk about her boyfriend? I mean I can see no need, in any pick-up, at any time, why a guy would want to discuss his one big obstacle with the girl he's attracted to. But, apparently you can let go of it.

So, here's advice for you : STOP TALKING ABOUT HER BOYFRIEND. I know it's hard. I know she'll bring it up. Just smile and nod and that's all. No comment is the best comment in these situations. Also, game her as if she's a single girl. Stop worrying about some guy she's seeing, she'll leave him as soon as you create more attraction than he has created with her. It's simple math.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

I'll tell you your number one problem.

You end the conversation at all the wrong times. I mean, you and her were just getting to the good parts and you say "goodnight". Come on, man. Learn to see when she's getting in the mood and make full use of it. That was an opportunity for you to get her to describe what she felt there when you kissed her, then tell her how good it was for you, make it long and detailed and talk about emotions and good feelings and all that. You want her to associate the good feelings with you, so much, that she wants those feelings all the time ergo she wants you all the time. That's how it works.

Instead of conversations where you are bored, try to indulge into these "play house" conversations where you describe a scenario to her involving you both and then try to get her to add input to it, now depending on your preference you can make it a romantic one or a sexual one. But, imagination is a very powerful tool. What women read, they imagine and what they imagine, they associate emotions with it. Be careful and treat this with the utmost respect, which means no "hahahahahaha" when she's talking about something. Be direct, be honest and be descriptive. You'll get all you want from her.

Eventually.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

Here, you could've said "No way! I have an ass to die for! " or something like that and said that when she meets you she can see for herself, maybe recognize it from some naughty adverts.. whatever.

See, this is creating two things : ONE is the mention of your posterior as a potential winner and women love guys with good backsides. TWO is the opportunity to tell her that you and her will meet at some point and therefore, make this interaction 'tangible'.
Brilliant.

I mean, I do like the way you talk to women. Reminds me of my style, except I tend to indulge in a bit more of teasing and using rare words, which I also advise you to, being a writer and all. Women are quite attracted to guys who have a flair for the language that's been my first hand experience.

Also, she seems very forward about wanting you and that's great. Now, don't let that put you in a spot of bother. Some women are unapologetically forward with their hints and God bless them for it. Makes our job easier.

So, I'd only tell you to amp up the sexual tension from discussion of first base to the subsequent bases, if you catch my drift and try to get her to discuss her feelings and inner workings more. It's the thought process in women that one should really understand, it's not general, but for a woman it gives a pretty good idea of her decisions and you can predict accordingly. Just keep on with your style, you'll get her. Add a few tweaks I've mentioned.

That all aside, I hope you can back your texts and IMs up, in your persona and behavior, when you meet her. A mismatch can really put women off. Congruency is the utmost factor in PU, as in life.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

You've know this girl for 3.5 years and you've just stood there and done nothing about it? I see why she was comfortable in letting her BF know that she was out for drinks with you, 'cause she sees you as a "good friend" and nothing more.

If she was attracted to you, she would've not called her boyfriend up, she'd have wanted to keep this a secret between you and her cause she was unsure of the box in which she had to classify these feelings she had for you. But, she didn't follow that course of action.

This is classic FRIEND'S ZONE, with a good amount of time added to it, which incidentally makes it worse.

I'd suggest you to look elsewhere cause this one has no idea of your penis even existing, which is my way of saying she considers you one of her "best friends" and hence, akin to her girl buddies.
Don't thank me. Just find another girl and be faster in expressing your attraction to the next girl you like. Much faster than this one.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

That's simple.

Just be upfront with them about the fact that you're not looking for a relationship right now. Don't watch shows like HIMYM with scripted shit that no one does in real life. Instead, you'd fare much, much better with just telling her that while you are very much attracted to her and wish to explore whatever you have with her at the moment, you just cannot see yourself being in a committed relationship in the near future.

And do this, only when she brings up "the talk" otherwise, just do what you're doing without worrying so much about it.
I wanna say "Thanks" to you, cause questions like these make answering them all the more worthwhile. It's an excellent situation to be in, and I've come to close to experiencing these situations, but not close enough. So, I had to actually take a minute or five to think about being in your shoes and here's my chain of events:

1 - B is a better prospect than A. A is DTF. Sure, but she's also making a lot of excuses for not going to bed with you. I trust you to take those excuses apart with some good anti-LMR tech. but she seems more of the kind of women who're open to sex quickly with new guys without knowing them much, which is a good and a bad thing. B on the other hand, while being incredibly conflicted on her part, is still attracted to you (all credits to you, man) and wants you. Just that she's too bent by the moral side of things.

2 - Sleep with A ,as quickly as you can. That should give you objectivity to deal with her. The later you make that, the more risk of over-investment in the said girl, occurs. At the same time, try to meet with A outside of the range of places which B frequents, so that you can minimize the chances of them running into each other.

3 - Keep developing insane attraction with B. Tell her that you don't care about the situation but that you want her. Terribly. Express your desire and want in direct, brutally truthful lines. She'll cave.

4 - Your choice. You can make A or B a fuck buddy or a potential short term FwB, depending on who makes you have a better time in the sheets.

Also, you should check this video out on how to eliminate objections..

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xYA8JxR8iX4[/youtube]

Good luck.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

See, here's the thing.

It seems like just another conversation she can have with just another guy. I mean, there's no authenticity, no mark of originality, no separation from the status quo and it's very important to separate yourself from the status quo. Trust me.

The more "general" conversations thy have with her, the more deeper in the FRIEND'S ZONE, thou shalt get trapped.

You could've just said that she was on your mind, and you decided to message her. That would've made it about her and she would've been curious to know why she was in your head, in the first place. That could've been played off as even you don't know why, but it's something you'd think about later. And then, changed the conversation.

Listen, the more you make it about her, the better it flows. I am talking about the conversation here. Try to involve her feedback other than "hahaha" or "ok" or "yeahh" and shit like that, which is positively annoying.

To get good answers, ask the right questions. Questions about her dreams, passions, hobbies, why she does what she does, places she'd like to go, musicians and why she likes them, her beliefs, her ideas of feminism, romance, poetry blah blah blah blah. Infinite topics to talk about, so little time.

Just inject things in conversation which you think the other "Hey baby! Your father must be a terrorist, cause you're a bomb!" lines using guys don't and you should do fine. Also, show her that you're genuinely interested in getting to know her and not there for getting inside her pants (even, if you are).

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "