I really need help here. Im very new to all this, so try not to be to harsh. Probably a lot of AFC stuff in here, but try to read through!

New girl at work > she was looking at me all the time, so I looked at her back, she immediately moves her eyes straight down to the floor. To obvious, so i knew she was into me. We talked for ~2 work days, then I asked her out to the movies, she blushes/chuckles and says yes.

Movie starts, I do some palmreading to get her used to the touch of my hand. movie rolles for about ~10mins.
She starts sitting with her feets crossed and arms in her lap. I move my hand around her and tell her to relax with a small massage (~5 sec, short one). We sit like this for ~10-15mins, i ask her if she is comfortable and she says she sits alittle twisted up and laughs, i take my arm away and we continue watching the movie ~15mins. I open my hand obvious, she smiles and takes it. we sit like this the rest of the movie ~30-45min. We walk out towards the point of seperation. We talk, she looks very nervous. Here comes the point I felt was the turning point. Before she leaves she hugs me and i say "oh, one last thing" i wisher in her ear, do u want to kiss me. She blushes and she "No, not to night". I replay with "I didnt say u could." and smile just a little. She says "Im blushing!". Then we parted off.

The next day I add her on facebook like we agreed upon the day before. Pms her saying "I figured we would go do something next monday/Tuesday" (current day was Tuesday.) We both had work so we couldnt meet up before that day...

She replays with (trying my best to translate from my language, might be abit "off":

Hey.
I have to be honest here, i was a bit put out yesterday. I was not quite aware that it was a date. And i was not aware that u like me in that "romantic" way (hold hands and kissing). So i think it would be unpleasent to meet u again under those settings considering we are colleague/fellow workers and im not interested in a boyfriend right now. Hope u understand

Regards XXX.

Extra info. She is going outside the country to study next summer. Might be good information.

Buyers remorse, or whats going on here? I mean would she let me hold her hand for that long while smiling giggling at me, without even being into me?

I am utterly confused.

Thanks for all advice!

She might have reservations because she basically doesn't know anything about you. You need to talk to her, build comfort, show her your personality, THEN kino escalate. Watching a movie together I would leave for a 2nd or 3rd date. Get to know her first.

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We got to know each others at work, we talked for 2 workdays before all this.
Not enough maybe?
Anyone have more thoughts ?

I don't think it's the same thing. Talking at work makes it seem Platonic. That was just the conversation for getting the number close. You then need to build more comfort in another location.

You should have taken her out for dinner first before the movie.

But even with all that, who knows what her situation might be. She might just not be ready for a relationship now, or she's afraid it will make work weird if it doesn't pan out (and that's a valid concern). You probably could have broken through that with more attraction/comfort, but seems like you're stuck now. This one will be hard to salvage. I would try building more comfort then reengage kino -- assuming she still wants to see you.

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Web developer at your service. Current project: Annuities

Thanks. Would like other opinions also. Maybe I should just ignore/act like nothing happened towards her at work for a while? See if anything happens. I only work with her a few days per 2 week. So I dont really see her that often. Or just cut it all of all together? Opinions?

Good idea

We cant really tell what went wrong, but the fact is the situation isnt good. No use investing time and emotional capital in what is likely a lost cause, put it on the back burner and move on. Id freeze her out completely for a bit.

I always have this debate with people giving advice on how to "game" busted situations. I sincerely believe your best long term result will be moving on to new girls and gaming them, rather then re-gameing shit when it goes bad.

Never buy it when a girl tells you she's not looking for a boyfriend. Rest assured that if Brad Pitt walked into the room and ask her if she wanted to go out with him, she wouldn't say..."Oh, sorry Brad, but I'm not looking for a boyfriend right now."

I'd say to go ahead and pass this one up. That's just my two-cents.

wouldn't say it is buyers remourse as it doesn't seem you did anything to make her too horny that would lead her to the conclusion of , OMG if im alone with this guy I will FUCK HIM FOR SURE,

you just held her hand and got rejected from a kiss, it's no big deal, she just doesn't find you attractive enough, just talk to more girls and go on more dates, her loss, work on your game, become cooler, go to the gym, improve your physique, widen your social circle, improve your style/grooming/hygene

but most importantly keep taking action, keep meeting new girls, keep trying to move things forward, don't give up

Thanks guys. Ill report back soon.

Update:
The next few days we were working together, she gave me the same looks as always, shying away looking twice while me held it and she giggling to herself walking by me. I tried to ignore her, but I really had to get her out of my head. She was obviously still into me, so I gave her an ultimatum so that I could move on from her (only because it was a big gray zone between us).

Long story short; I pulled her a side at work, and I told her:
We are 2 grownups, Ill be honest with u. I find u very attractive and I want to get to know u better. She said she likes my honesty and the only reason she was ditching me was because she had been with some1 els the whole time, and that she would go out with me again and keep me updated if anything happened.

So thats another chapter closed, Im moving on and wont hope for the phonecall that might never come.

Thanks for the help everyone.

In other words, play the boyfriend role and end up getting last minute resistance and possibly never fuck the girl.

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Don't get on one knee for a girl that won't get on two for you.

Good for you on being so forthcoming, seriously. Don't worry about what Chris says, he's been reading too much 60yearsofmentallychallenged to not know any other way than "risking creepy"

You took a risk, that took balls. Might not have got the response that you wanted but hey, you're still standing and live to see another day. Now go ask 10 girls out.

Thanks asesino.
Do not think that message from Chris was for me, he quoted some1 els =).
Thanks tho for reminding me+others not to take the boyfriend role, we all have to start caring less!

I like the ballsy approach. I agreed with everyone that you should be asking 10 more girls out, etc., but I don't know, if what you're describing is accurate, I think this girl may even like you...or at the very least, think you're attractive. Personally, I rather hear I can't kiss you because I'm with someone else, than I only see you as "a friend".

You really want to drive her crazy, or, see where you really stand...go out with her and hit on her girlfriends...

Also, movies are not good dates when you're getting to know someone.

Good luck, you never know what may happen in the future...

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