As you know, I will be heading off to college next year and I was wondering about fraternities. I think that this would be a great opportunity for me to have a great social circle and meet some HB sorority girls and I think that this may improve my game a ton (via social proof). But. . . I still have some questions and concerns.

1.) How bad is the hazing, and what should I be prepared for?
2.) What kind of people are they looking for?
3.) Is all of the initiation stuff you have to go through (hazing, pledging) worth it? Does it really sound as great as I think it does?
4.) Would being in a fraternity effect grades and school work? With all the partying and all (which I am totally for ) I worry that maybe I'll be neglecting my classwork!

Let me know what you guys think about fraternity's, I'm on the fence about whether or not I should join. I will most likely be going to the University of Colorado in Boulder (big party school ) for astrophysics (lots of school work! ) so any feedback would be very helpful. Thanks in advance!

PS: I didn't know exactly where to put this thread, so feel free to move it if it belongs in some other section of the forum.

I would suggest not joining a frat as a freshman. college is a big step in ones personal growth and development, as its usually the first time you will be living away from your parents, and thus away from dependancy. so personally, if you want to join a frat, maybe wait till sophomore year to pledge. plus you'll be able to get an outside view of a frat before joining it by staying free your first year. thats what i would suggest. but in all honesty, you've got almost a year till college, and even once your there, that should be one of the last things your worried about. in my opinion.

_________________
"He is god, he will understand. And if he does not, then he is not god, and we need not worry."
http://pickuplabs.com/blog/ Pick-Up Labs, lots of cool shit guys, free!

From personal experience, I would give you the advice of "fuck frats"

Half the kids I know that joined frats got involved with the wrong crowd and are now addicted to cocaine(could be a coincidence, /shrug) Plus, being in a frat may improve your game because of social proof, but it won't do anything for your inner game, which is more important, at least to me. Sure you will meet lots of hot sorority girls and they will likely want to bone you solely because you are in a frat, but they won't want to bone you because you have actually made yourself into a more interesting, confident, adaptable version of yourself. Unless of course you HAVE already done that.

So, I guess if you're just in it to have sex with lots of girls, do it up. Otherwise I would recommend reconsidering your reasons for wanting to be in a frat.

Thanks for the feedback so far guys, it's been really helpful.

I would rather develop my game, and if joining a frat would impede this process, then count me out. The whole reason I would join one would be to improve my social skills, which would spill into areas of my game. I agree that inner game is way more important than outer game, but I think that they go hand in hand. Inner game is more important because it's your psyche, and that sticks with you forever, while social circles will come and go. But you still need some form of social proof. I know you can fake social proof, but I would rather stop faking it and start living it. That is a bigger boost in confidence which leads to improved inner game. I just want to get the most out of my college experience and I know it's an individual journey that I need to discover on my own. If I shouldn't join a fraternity, what other ways are good to meet new people in college? Just parties and classes?

Wait wait, I know I came off as pretty anti-frat haha, but I didn't mean to say that it would DEFINITELY impede you. I only imagine that all the hazing and whatever other shit you have to do while pledging can only hurt your self esteem, you know??

Another thought I had, though, is that since you have so much time before college, you can focus it all on really working your inner game to the max, you know? Then you can join up with whatever frat tickles your fancy and have the best of both worlds?

A new idea I JUST came up with... and I don't know how over the top this is, but why not try and start your own frat with like minded people? Not only would you have an awesome social circle from this, but you would be the CENTER of it. Talk about social proof. (I have NO idea what is involved in creating a fraternity from scratch, this is just a cool potential idea)

Otherwise, I'm sure you could start building a pretty respectable social circle outside of fraternities by starting with just getting really close to one or two people, and expanding from there?? I've never had to start a new social circle from scratch, so my advice is a bit limited in this aspect. Getting a part time job has always done wonders for me in regards to meeting new people and adding to my circle.

I'm glad I can help, I hope I can help you as much as I can!

dude dont worry about it. just stay in a coed dorm and you wont be able to avoid people. dont even stress it.

_________________
"He is god, he will understand. And if he does not, then he is not god, and we need not worry."
http://pickuplabs.com/blog/ Pick-Up Labs, lots of cool shit guys, free!

Actually, even if you do join the frat solely for the purpose of social proof and to fuck the girls that will fuck you just because you're in the frat, it could still be beneficial to you, as long as you keep a level head, don't get drunk, and keep your studies up. Then, you will not only gain social proof, which you can expand on, and learn from, but also gain experience sexually, which again you can expand on and learn from. Look at it as a positive experience, and not as just a party. The inside perspective could help you after you get out of college.

Well since I have finally locked in on a major, and am tranfering to the U in the fall... I have been giving thought to this subject myself.

For me the answer is 99% yes I will join a Frat. Expanded social circle increased social proof (in certain setting ALOT of social proof)... but for me the first one is most important... Networking is so important... and when done right your social circle can soon lead to ever increasing social proof.

Plus it just seems fun to give it a try... I know guys in frats I know guys not in frats... I wouldn't likely be persuaded to live in the house... but overall it's a club, a mini community and if you choose a good one will be fun and beneficial.

Also I'm not sure about that particular school, but at the U here certain Frats have minimum GPA's to maintain active standing with the Frat... may want to look into those ones as they put a bit more of a balance in prioritys between some of the only party types.

haha there seem to be a lot of frat haters in here. I am in a frat and ill give you some advice. When i had the same decision before me as you do i waited till i had a grasp on the studying and what not, just so my parents would be ok with it. Anyways i would suggest going around on the tour that the school will provide and check out each frat. Im not going to lie, there are so many fag frats out there that i would love to drive a semi into but then again there are a lot of good ones too. I was looking for the least fraty frat(if that makes sense to you), and found one that is dominate in sports and has a lot of good people in it. Back to the point... Give it a chance, not all frats haze and its not gona kill you. Good Luck

So basically what I understand is that I need to work on inner game before I go to college (which I'm already in the process of doing) and then check things out, adjust to the classes and new environment, get a grasp on college life, and then join a frat after touring them all and finding which one is best for me. I'm basically looking at joining a fraternity as an opportunity to gain social and sexual experience. I've realized from reading (Dustin in The Game) that many "naturals" gained sexual experience early on, and I know many people who are like this. So, the experience will give me more confidence with women, because I will already have "been there" if that makes any sense. I'm really looking forward to college now, to reinvent my image and expand my social circle. I kind of like the whole idea of starting a frat, but I have no idea how to even begin to do that, so its most likely not going to happen, lol. Cool idea though!

just know that a lot of stuff will be new to you and it may be too big to handle and frats may be just a little bit on top of that. also, be comfortable with drinking and smoking. you will more than likely be doing at least one or the other if not both. also, make sure to organize your time well. dont get caught up in frat stuff and let school fall behind. school is the number one priority and i'm not even kidding. pua comes after

Sounds like you're getting it pretty well worked out in your head, however, I wouldn't discount the creating your own frat idea so easily! at least look into it, even if you find out it's not possible to start your own, I think it's worth a little research.

-this is what I did, now I get laid just because Im the most popular-

Dont join a frat. Just live in the dorms. Meet EVERYONE. Start with the guys. Get cool with as many of them as you can them. Once your cool with a bunch of guys, you'll develop social proof and girls will begin looking at you. With the game you learn from here you'll be able to get them. Once you get some girls interested in you, more guys will begin to look up to you, thus making them want to chill with you (more guy friends). Now that you have EVEN MORE guy friends, more girls (more top notch), will begin checking you out. Once you get them more guys (the most popular) will be envious, look up to you, and want to hang with you. Now, since you run with the most popular crowd, the top notch girls of the school with be looking at you (because now your a high valued male). Now it'll be like shooting fish in a barrel!! You gotta start from the bottom though. And remember, don't just be friends with the guys, lead them. Don't be afraid to take charge. If men follow you, the woman will want to too. Plus theres no better feeling than getting respect from guys AND girls.

BTW, the reason I tell you NOT to join a frat is because people (even the girls) look down on them because it seems like there trying to hard (even if there not). Just the fact that they are part of a social group (that you have to pay for) is enough to make people feel that there lame.

Yeah, I don't know what I'm going to do yet. I'll check things out, maybe wait a semester or two to see how things go. If I end up making tons of guy friends like you said, then I won't join a fraternity, but if I don't for some reason then I might join one. I would hope that I can make plenty of friends so that I wouldn't have to join one, but who knows what may happen. Thanks for the advice guys, its been really helpful!

i'm in a frat and i think its fun. i joined as a freshman, no biggy there. if you cant adjust well to the college life then why the fuck are you staying on campus or near it. frats or a part of college, i recommend it, despite it is quite expensive. but you do get contacts you can later on use in real lie (jobs, and maybe even a rich brother who hooks you up). and when it comes to the girls, nothing else like them, but if your looking for a relationship they arent always the best ones.

-sparrow
gvsu