Hey,

So following a four year relationship ending (see my other thread) I'm back in the game.

When I look back at the amount of times I've approached a girl totally on my own which I didn't (or my friends didn't know) is probably zero. So I consider myself lucky that I've had two long term gf's and kissed a bunch of girls. (Most I came to know through other people, rather than off my own back).

However, despite not approaching girls. I have danced with random girls on the dance floor and kiss closed a couple (generally I'd make eye contact smile, do it again then take their hand have a little dance, make them have fun - twirl them ect and then kiss close). I seem to be far more relaxed on the dance floor than anywhere else in a club.

I want to use this opportunity to improve both myself internally and externally (inner and outer game?) so am going to set some goals here:

Short term:

1. Start a new interest where there are plenty of girls (any ideas? - Dancing?)
2. Open at least three girls (two have to be off the dance floor - as I'm least comfortable here) next time I go out (Friday night)
3. Approach at least one girl on the dance floor

Medium term:

4. Get a job abroad (Ireland/American/Canada/Australia) - also relates to moving out of my parents place/meeting new people ect.

5. Fine tune my style

6. Kiss or number close in the next 14 days. (Yes this puts me out of my comfort zone which I need).

7. Start day game - is this the same as night game? Should my approaches be different?

Long term:

8. Snowboard season (Something I've wanted to do for some time).

9. Get a girlfriend who is hotter than my last

Right! So that's about it.

I'm in the beginning stages here so can you recommend I read anything? I prefer the natural (Gambler style) & direct game.

I've been single for about four days, lets see how this goes.

Sticks

P.S. Feel free to give me as much advice/critique and challenges as you like.

Okay, so thought I'd do my first update.

Last night was a bit if a disaster, headed to a bar first which was okay, then headed over to the club I was holding out for but we couldn't get in - sucks! So we went to another bar then joined some other friends in another bar.

I opened a total of one girl - she was cute and we spoke for quite a while however I was a bit of a goon and everything I had learnt about kino escalation ect went straight out of the window for some reason...

On the dance floor, there was a girl who kept checking me out but I wasn't interested.

So one week left to get that kiss/number close! In other areas I've been applying for jobs abroad and signed up to a dance class which starts next week.

Next time, I'd definitely open girls before the club (I was holding out for this too much I think) I think it would be a great way to meet people.

Then I'd grow some balls and do some kino escalation/ask the girl to join me on the dance floor.

Finally, I am going to try some day game = the most adventurous type of game for me - where's the best place to do this - malls/shops ect?

Man, for some reason I thought this would easy it feels tougher than ever! Keep thinking of my ex doing things with other guys and it's eating me up but also giving me motivation.

Think I'm gonna stick with what I've learnt so far to avoid information overload/might buy the 30 day game challenge to push me on a bit.

Sticks

So, I've been thinking alot about things.

And come to the conclusion getting to a kiss or number close in a club situation, will very rarely happen in a couple of minutes (unless you have already built a rapport with the girl).

I need to start expecting to spend a good half hour+ from the initial approach to the kiss or number close.

Feel like death today so gonna have to miss out on two things:
- Dance class
- Meal/drinks with friends tonight

Time to rest up and prepare for the night/day game that will happen later in the week.

Sam

Hey guys,

Status update:

Right, so my cold got more heavy (though I feel slightly better today) I still sound like the lead singer from Lamb of god (seriously look him up he has such a deep voice!).

So I'm having to stay in this weekend as well :/ (sucks night out planned tonight and tomorrow!)

This means I'd likely miss out on my goal but since it's slightly out of my control , I'm going to extend it by 6 days so that will put the new target to get a kiss or number close to the 13th of Feb (yup that's getting close to Valentines day!).

On Tuesday I ended up going for drinks and decided to stay for food with friends there was one cute girl with us who I'd never met before, flirted with her a bit and definitely felt the energy and attraction back, the truth is I reckon I could of easily got the number close but didn't have the balls - next time!

And, there's more...

I reordered the rules of the game and read day 1 today which included a really great section about limiting beliefs.

So I need to approach five people, am I gonna do it? You bet I am! I'm embarassed to say last time I started the game (around 5 years ago) it took me about three go's before I grew balls to speak to strangers!

My plan? Gonna get an early night and go out tomorrow lunch time where I've made a list of 8 or so places where I plan to speak to a majority of women. Lets see how it goes!

More musings:
One of the ways to get rid of limiting beliefs is to ask yourself have you ever been in a situation and done what your worried about doing - the fact is yes, I've been comfortable around attractive women and they've been comfortable and attracted to me.

This got me thinking, during my last relationship, I spent time talking to my (recently) ex-girlfriends single, attractive friends - and you know what I discovered? They actually want to meet interesting men get chatted up and kissed in clubs the thing is most of them won't make the first move - but if you can get control over approach excitement your chances are multipled beyond belief.

It seems obvious but it's worth myself remembering girls are also going out to have fun and kiss guys - if you can match their energy levels, be interesting and attractive to them you'll have no problem with kiss closes and the best thing is anyone reading this can do exactly that.

Till next time,

Sticks

Yes!

Last night I completed my first kiss close since becoming single again

I've found the best openers are completely spontaneous ones to people close to you (literally right as you see them) so I personally haven't used any "canned" lines.

Watching some videos definitely helped, starting the game and opening people (still on day 2 as I never record the eye contact!) also super helped.

Good-luck everyone,

Sticks,

congratulation

Update:

Short term:

1. Start a new interest where there are plenty of girls (any ideas? - Dancing?)
Done - Started dancing - going well!

2. Open at least three girls (two have to be off the dance floor - as I'm least comfortable here) next time I go out (Friday night)
Done

3. Approach at least one girl on the dance floor
Done

Medium term:

4. Get a job abroad (Ireland/American/Canada/Australia) - also relates to moving out of my parents place/meeting new people ect.
Brought my Aussie visa today! Looking to get flights asap

5. Fine tune my style
Done - brought some new clothes! & a new hair cut

6. Kiss or number close in the next 14 days. (Yes this puts me out of my comfort zone which I need).
Done (see above post)

7. Start day game - is this the same as night game? Should my approaches be different?
Done? See below

Long term:

8. Snowboard season (Something I've wanted to do for some time).

9. Get a girlfriend who is hotter than my last


Other:
I also brought and started the Stylelife challenge, I'm on day 3 today and about an hour ago finished the phone call section was a bit more difficult than I planned but I think it taught me more than I imagined - certainly improving my confidence and rapport building on the phone including the calls that didn't pick up I easily called at least 50 numbers.

I thought about giving up after speaking to about 10 people without success but then finally! I got a recommendation and it got me motivated to continue - I guess it's the same in physical approaches you gotta keep the long term benefits in mind.

I found the more rapport I built the more likely they were to give a recommendation this could be done as easily as making small gestures such as "Ah no, not again!" (when replying to "You've got the wrong number").

Also giving them a reason such as "I'm looking for a recommendation for a date" seemed to build rapport and often got a chuckle!

The previous days (cold approaches) definitely taught me I need to have more eye contact.

Gonna do the vocal lessons later on.

Goals updated:

Short term:

1. Kiss close another girl - in the next 14 days

2. Stay in sets longer! I approached some sets last weekend but ejected sooner than I needed putting a lot of hinderernce on my chances of success.

3. Approach another girl on the dance floor - I'm gonna do this one again as the last time was a huge flop.

4. Work on maintaining eye contact
I need to do this when approaching girls! I did one direct opener (first ever time) which was well received had I had more eye contact and kino I reckon I could of kiss closed.

5. Work on Kino escalation
I need to do more of this in-field it's easy in practice but harder in-field I think if I go straight more light touches it breaks the barrier down right away and avoids future problems when I'm thinking "so should I touch her elbow now"?


Medium term:

4. Get a job abroad (Ireland/American/Canada/Australia) - also relates to moving out of my parents place/meeting new people ect.
Keep going on this one and hopefully get the flights in the next few days.

7. More day game - for my approaches done in the Style challenge all the people I approached I wasn't attracted to - time to up the anty and approach a hottie!

Long term (remain the same...):

8. Snowboard season (Something I've wanted to do for some time).

9. Get a girlfriend who is hotter than my last

So, to paraphrase my goals are now:

- More eye contact & kino escalation (from the beginning).
- Kiss close in 14 days
- Day approach someone who I'm attracted to

Good-luck to you all,

Sticks

Guys, I just totally bombed.....

Day four of the rules of the game - I had to ask three women if they could recommend me a clothing store and get at least one to actually give me a recommendation.

I opened zero, literally an hour round trip to town, walking around for an hour and a half and I flopped.

I kept coming up with excuses "she's in a group" "she's not hot enough" "she's too hot".

I know in the back of my head, if I could of just opened one it would of paved the way for the remaining two.

I even brought a chocolate bar and told myself if I didn't do the openers I couldn't eat it....I still ate it.

My day game seriously sucks! Last weekend I was opening girls left right and centre in a club, now I couldn't even do this!

I think I was over thinking everything, I'm gonna stick with this and I will complete this challenge.

Next time, I'm gonna go to a smaller town and won't flop!

Seriously gutted at my performance today,

Sticks

P.S. On the plus a few girls checked me out which felt good! Need to work on smiling at them, rather than looking away after I catch them looking at me!

Right, this is just a post almost to remind myself of the following sticking points I need to implement:

• Isolation
  Kino Escalation
  Negs

Last night, spoke to a couple of girls (one in particular for a good 35 mins) and could definitely sense some attraction but I didn't a) Isolate or b) Kino escalate (apart from very small amounts).

Both were drop dead gorgeous but I left it too late - basically went something like this:

Approached male in group, then introduced myself to other group members (the girls) then:

1. Spoke to first girl for a good 35 mins (she went to get a drink) occasionally her guy friends would appear and try to get involved/be a dick think I handled it quite well basically introduced myself to them spoke to them a little then went back to the conversion with the girl and pretty much ignore them! This convo ended when she went to the get a drink with her friends - perhaps I should of joined them?

2. Spoke to second girl (whilst first one was at the bar - perhaps first girl didn't like this?)
3. Rejoined friends (close by)
4. First girl goes to dance floor - says nothing as she walked by
5. Lost sight of second girl (thought she also went down but was mistaken).
6. Went down to dance floor - danced on the other side and waited a few mins to approach (another mistake)
7. Went over to approach and she was gone.
8. Went upstairs saw first girl with another guy - spoke to guy ignore girl and got drink
9. Turned round they were gone
10. Left club

So, had I been the one to suggest dancing first, I think this could of played out better (especially combined with some kino escalation!) also I should of approached sooner and perhaps added some negs in the convo as well!

Sticks

Excellent news! On my third attempt I made my first day game opening (also completes day 4 of the Game)!

Ended up approaching 5 women, felt really good - exciting even! Like suddenly it opened my eyes that all these people walking by - I could talk to!

Sticks

Hey Sticks, I'll let you know something i didn't know for a very very long time.

In terms of how many girls should you approach, seeing as you can actually approach already, is the wrong idea. You should focus on STATE, building state.

So technically it doesnt matter how many or how few you have to approach but how your state is. In clubs, its 90% state based. You'll know what to say when in state, in fact you wont even 'know' you just will like how you talk to your buddies.

When I've hit state are the only times ive been able to do well in clubs, otherwise you just sit in mediocre small talk that fizzles out after 3minutes or OTT joking that means you're just some drunk guy who made conversation as they made their way.

Also its about who you're with, my only good nights are when I've been with someone who is going to do their own thing and is into at least talking to girls.

Cheers man,

Interesting post, definitely when I've had the best success in clubs it's been an instant natural opener.

Rather than thinking about what to say, thinking about saying it and then going over to say it (seems to build a lot of pressure).

Will, try and approach girls faster from now on rather than over-thinking too much.

Sticks

When you are new to cold approach you should focus on approaching lots of girls, why would you not? You are right being in state helps a lot, but it is not a good idea to tell a newbie just to focus on state.

If you are not in state, don't worry about it, just approach and do your thing regardless, then you should eventually hit state, it may take a long time or may not even happen that night, but don't use the excuse 'im not in state so, im not going to approach', do it anyway.

Cheers man,

Yes I think you're right - just gotta work on getting a more approaches under my belt afterall it's the experience that count!

For my next "rules of the game" challenge I have to compliment 4 women (two can be friends - two must be strangers).

Gonna try and fit this in tomorrow morning, before a night out, will report back Sunday/Monday.

According to my last updated goals I gotta kiss close before the 7th (next Wednesday) so that really only gives me tomorrow night!

Rules of the game suggested I shouldn't focus too much on one end goal i.e. kiss close/number close rather work on the steps between then I can choose where I want the interaction to go - this is definatley something to keep in mind.

Will report back Sunday/Monday.

Also booked my flights for my trip - another goal completed!

Sticking points
- Kino escalation (includes closing the gap)
- Isolation

Sticks

Where about are you based?
Its cool, I just personally find state building and/or instilling behaviours bring better results than outcome based goals.