hey guys!
i've stumbled on this article,and it changed my game..for the better,alot better,although there are obvious things in it,we all need a reminder at times.
*credit goes where credit is duo*
Circumstances & Fears.
Don’t fight them. You have arranged circumstances to help you to get higher places. Your mind has done that in mysterious way. If you are standing in line for the club for two hours now, that’s where you should be. If a hot girl rejected you that’s where you should be.
So welcome the circumstances as a natural byproduct of your subconscious mind. You put yourself in this position for a reason. Don’t spend your life trying to change your circumstances. Pay attention to your present and accept your negative feelings whatever they might. It doesn’t make you a loser! Fighting them will cause them to become stronger. Let the subconscious mind do the work of resolving any situation. Then discover the lessons to be learned by accepting those situations rather than trying to change them.
It will be tiring and obtuse to oppose the powerful forces your mind is releasing, instead go with them to whatever they might take you. It is a journey of discovery.
You are unlikely to agree with this. Why? Because it is painful to just stay with whatever negative stuff your mind is giving you. But staying with it is the beginning of the solution.
Loud Music, Bitchy Girls…And Life At The Club
Can’t change the fact that the music is loud. Can’t change the fact that some women will reject you. However, you can change yourself. If you take responsibility is like swallowing a big lump. But you will realize you only have to change yourself, not the rest of the world. You have the strength and the chance to change yourself, but not the world.
However, you may spend the rest of your life trying to change the world but you won’t make it. Even if you did you will feel you aren’t very happy about it. You must understand the simple truth that every problem you see in the world starts with you.
It begins with yourself and your emotional reaction to what happens outside. Once you practice a little bit you will find that your inner world starts to align with the outer world. There are no problems to fix anymore because you took care of the biggest problem: you. Isn’t it obvious that when you feel alright, the world is alright? The opposite is true.
So if you are ok with girls being bitchy, it is not a problem anymore. You allow yourself to be around them even when they don’t like you. You start to think it is funny they don’t like you.
Constant State Of Background Fear
Because you are constantly monitoring circumstances you life is lived in fear. Circumstances change and so you are always on the lookout for new input because you want to change them as opposed to accept them.
Life becomes a dull struggle for survival when you are always trying to change the circumstances. All kinds of illusory threats get projected onto the background of the club and the people in it. We constantly challenge ourselves to move through circumstances that in reality they are all static. We move but they don’t. The reality of this game barely changes from one night to the other. It is fairly static. Club crowds do the same no matter what. Women’s behavior in clubs remains the same. We change. If we let circumstances take care of us we will live in fear of them. Fear will become also static in our lives.
Your Thoughts At The Beginning Of The Night
If you are worried or in fear of your circumstances you are likely to have the same thoughts every night you go out. Guys fear their performance that night.
“Club is too crowded”, “Girls are too hot”, “Music is too loud”, “I feel I don’t belong"
At the beginning of the night you will always have performance related fears. Your mind becomes negative. Your mind’s agenda is survival. Your mind wants you to stay put and do nothing. Most guys fight these thoughts with alcohol, affirmations or simply ignore them. They have a cute name for it, AA. Another word for fear. If you fight those mind cognitions you will create unnecessary conflict. The negativity reasserts itself. It will slow you down.
You Must Challenge Those Thoughts.
However, before you ever get to do that you must invite them in, not judge them. Performance related fears at the beginning of your night are all but normal. But if you judge them, try to ignore them or change the circumstances to make them go away you are in trouble. Those thoughts get stronger and destroy whatever is left of your self-confidence. Instead accept them as part of your process. Invite the negativity in. it is like releasing a boulder down the hill. It will move us, at first slowly, but inevitably and relentlessly to a different point of view. It will shift your consciousness. I call this technique “grounding” and it goes a long way into getting rid of negativity faster than anything I have ever tried before.
Like I ask to students at the end of the night, “Do you remember what you were thinking before you started approaching?” 9 out of 10 they don’t remember the negative thoughts they had some hours before. The reason is the thoughts were challenged through the actions they took and were proven wrong by positive evidence. No need to lobotomize yourself. Reality is the ultimate cure.
i have only one thing to add:cheers
to a life WITH* fears.
CHAT
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). I was so engaged I told her she prefers a weak and frail man and then spontaneously accused her of being a dominatrix