Hey guys, I realize this is a lot to read but I could really use the advice.

So a couple of weeks ago, the fraternity I'm pledging had a mixer event with this one sorority (drunk bowling). My game was on point that night and i ended up #-closing with an 8, 9, and 9.5. I spent the majority of my time with the 9 however and we really hit it off. I should probably point out that neither of us were drunk, maybe tipsy, but after the event we went back to the frat house and chilled. I got lots of physical and verbal IOIs, and I believe that I escalated properly. She had mono so we couldn't kiss on the lips but by the end of the night there was so much sexual tension you could cut it with a knife. Not only that, but this girl also turned out to have a fantastic personality and on first impression seemed to fit exactly what i was looking for in a girl; i saw her as a potential relationship candidate. Eventually we agreed that we wanted to go but i didn't push her to come back with me bc she was sick (possible mistake?).

Anyway, three days later I text her and the conversation goes like this.

Me (12:10): Hey so i met this really cute French girl saturday night...I really want to flirt with her but i'm not sure what to say! Any ideas? -Chris

HB9 (12:40): Well word on the street is that she's pretty easy to talk to...and isn't very skilled at flirtexting (yes its a word). so just start with something simple, like "what are you doing this weekend?"

Me (1:59): Hmm im not so sure about asking that...Id rather see what she's doing thursday bc (name of my frat) is having a date function that day

HB9 (3:06): Haha well although she's incredibly busy sleeping most of the time, she says she could definitely take some time off from that on thursday. Provided she's back at a reasonable hour...

Me (3:28 ): Good reasoning (her name), like why sleep by yourself when you could try to sleep with Chris?

HB9 (shortly after) : Lol are we no longer talking about me in third person? i was enjoying the anonymity. you think your so clever don't you, well I'm not going to be that easy hahah

Me (4:24): I guess now were talking about Chris in third person...mindfuck

HB9 (shortly after): whoa whoa, is this the twilight zone?...or inception? a third person within a third person? mindfuck cubed.

After that i asked her if she had any friends who would be open to going as my roommates date which was probably a bad idea in retrospect...the conversation got serious but she still seemed interested.

The day of the date she texts me

HB9 (12:38 ): Today is the dayy! so fill me in on where we should meet and all that jazz

me (shortly after): Wait...what's going on today?

HB9 (shortly after): Oh thats very cold

me (1:28 ): Aw you know I'm just messing with you (her name)...(go on to tell her the plan)

She says sounds like a plan and asks me a few more insignificant questions, i end the conversation.

The date seemed to go great, although it was a bit long (around 4 hours). My frat rented out this club/bar/restaraunt downtown so we had a nice dinner through which i did my best to tease her and flirt with her. Afterward they opened up the dance floor and although she still had mono so we couldn't kiss, things got pretty heated between us. After a while we decide to head out so we take a bus back to campus. On the walk back i suggested we smoke a joint since we both enjoy that to which she eagerly agreed. After we got high though, the sexual tension seemed to dissipate along with my game (those of you who blaze can understand I'm sure). We walked back and had some good laughs but a lot of silences...i awkwardly asked her if she was trying to chill at my dorm or go back to hers and she of course said hers. We said our goodbyes and agreed to see each other soon.

A few days later it was my bid night (day I'm accepted into the fraternity) so there was going to be a wild party. I text her "(her name) I better see you at (name of frat) tonight!" to which she does not respond. I did not see her that night either and although i had a fun time getting to second base with another hb8 i was disappointed.

The next day (yesterday) i try using some material my friend suggested and text her.

Me (4:23): I have a very important question for you

HB9 (5:09): Uh ok shoot. Btw sorry for not showing up last night...kinda got wasted and had to go home before 1 am

Me (5:33): No worries (her name) i prob wouldn't have remembered seeing you anyway lol...but my question is giants or patriots?

HB9 (7:08 ): Ooooh i don't really follow football too closely...but id have to say giants

Me (8:05): Hmm well I've got my money on the patriots...maybe we should bet on it

HB9 (9:26): Im not so sure about that, its looking like a pretty close call. I don't want to lose any money

Me (shortly after): Oh i wasn't talking money i was just gonna suggest something fun like winner gets a date of their choosing

HB9 (10:09): Haaaaaaaa giants won suckaaa

Me (10:43): jokes on you for losing a potential date with me!...suckaaa

(no response)


I realize that i have severe one-itis...why else would i be posting this much about one girl. In the past few weeks i have taken my energy out of other women and put it into her because i was so sure it would work out but now i feel like she has lost interest. I am beginning to do my best to game other girls again but i would really love to salvage this situation if possible...its not often i find an attractive girl who is a 10 on the inside on my scale. Not only that but i don't understand where i messed up...sure she has other options she's an attractive girl but i thought that i did really well for the most part minus a few mistakes here and there. My initial plan is to wait 2-3 days and then begin text pinging her every couple of days, then call her to try to ask her out, but I'm not sure if thats the best course of action. Thanks in advance for the help guys...i put a lot of thought and effort into this post so thoughtful responses would be greatly appreciated.

I see your confusion, flakes are the hardest to figure out and I've been in this situation many times. Often I just have to move on completely and occasionally they re-initiate conversation. Having several options helps oneitis but I know me personally I often focus all my energy on one girl at at time like you seem to be doing.

With that said, I'd do one of two things (or both)

1. Drop her for a few days then call her (no more texts)
2. Just call her in the next day or two

Keep in mind that if you call and she doesn't pick up, don't leave a message or anything. Don't call again for another week (or until she gets back to you).
If she doesn't return after your second call a week later, you have to drop her and move on.

That's what I'd do.

There are many reasons girls flake that may not even be your fault. Maybe she's talking to other guys as well? If she's a HB then she probably has several options as well.

Although having mono usually takes weeks to get over, are you sure she's worth waiting?

I am going through the same exact thing,

What I am doing: (hope it helps)

I am going to call her maybe on wednesday, (no more texting), last time we texted was on saturday, so this makes it like 5 days since last time we held contact, but like I said, contact now will only be phone calls. If she does not pick up or calls me back I will be droping her. No more phone call, text, thoughts, nothing.

I will sit, study my mistakes and sharpen my teeth, but definitely move on.

@chazman- About the mono she has already had it for about a month so she may even be over it by now...i wouldn't know.

2 questions for all though... First, I must admit that my phone game is not anywhere near as good as my text game. How should i act when talking to her on the phone? I assume that my goal should be arranging a date, but i'm not really sure how to go about it with things the way they are (assuming she picks up).

Second, what should i do/how should i act if i see her around campus?

I guess that both of these questions have the common theme of me being unsure about what kind of attitude to approach her with now, so that is probably my main concern. Should i act like nothing happened? Act less interested bc i am supposed to be used to girls giving me what i want? Something entirely different?

**Update**

Apologies if this post is not very coherent. I am drunk.

So I am looking for other girls now, but I am still not done with this one. Two days ago I called her, which would be our first time talking in about 3 days, except she didn't answer. I left a voicemail saying "yooo (her name) I just got the craziest idea! call me back." About 4 hours later she calls back but i was at the gym so i didn't get to answer. I call her back an hour later and she doesn't answer, so now we're playing phone tag.

The next morning (yesterday) I get a text from her and we have this exchange of messages.

9 (11:36): Whats your best idea ever?

Me (12:08 ): If I left you a voicemail saying I had the craziest idea you would for sure call me back...worked didn't it?

9 (2:14): It totally did! youre so devious

Me (2:57): Yeah about the reason for my call though...mono tests came back positive

9 (shortly after): Liessssss!

Me (3:22): not only that but turns out it mutated into this rare illness called "hyper mono" ...they're only giving me 2 months to live

9 (shortly after): Yes my murderous intentions have finally come to fruition! sorry you had to be my victim

Me (4:42): Murderous intentions? more like sexual intentions...either way I'm taking you to court

no response

So I was feeling pretty good until she stopped responding...what should my next move be? I want to meet up with her but i've got a ton of work to do this weekend as well, although i can spare a bit of time. I want to invite her to this date function at my frat next weekend but i feel like its a bit early for that.

Please give me some advice guys, i could really use it.