No romance, no long emotional messages, no surrender, no retreat.
Trust me, I've been there. If she has the slightest interest in you (and she clearly does) she'll come back. So you're worried that she thinks you only wanted sex? If that's the case then you clearly weren't that close. Do yourself a favor, whatever the fuck she's saying just ignore her completely for a week. Then meet her to "talk about things", like I said. Not over the phone, in person, over wine. And don't get all romantic and emotional on her because that's a huge turnoff, just tell her directly (in person) that you wanted to be more than just friends, and if that's not how she wants it then that's just cool with you and it's been nice knowing her. I guarantee that even if she says "no" to that, she'll realize that she made a huge mistake after you cut contact with her, and she'll come back begging for a second chance. Just do this and you'll be fine. Really, I've been there.
Good luck and keep us posted.

Thanks for that, it feels like its not going as planned. She owed me money and a top.. i gave her my acc to transfer and I have to go for the jacket tomorrow.

Ive been quite cod on the messages.. she smsed pretty much everyday only in relation to the money and jacket. Its like she got terribly insulted. Not sure what my next move is.. Freeze her out completely or meet her sometime soon

Hi xcalibar, sorry to hear about your current predicament. I would like to encourage you by telling you my current girlfriend and I experienced something similar to that (including a brief period of not talking), but things worked out in the end for us.

The biggest advice I can give you is to take every technique with a small grain of salt, there is no single response you can give that works with every girl. Some will put them off, others they may work with. The freeze out as suggested is a good one overall, but its important to be mindful of this girl's emotional state to discern how likely she is to overcome the initial feeling of rejection or loss of her 'special place' in your life.

But rest assured! She is definitely thinking of you and is probably trying to work out what she should do also.

I haven't read in great detail everything which has been written in this thread, but the first and most important thing I would suggest you do is keep your intentions really clear. In a way, by telling her that you had no expectations that she would stay the night gives her permission to take as long as she needs. I say this because I presume that her problem is that she isn't quite 'ready' to move into the next phase with you although she has definitely shown signs of interest (and she is interested).

Ultimately once it becomes clear to her what you want, not even nessasarily just because of this time but also because you start showing signs that you may be moving on, what you want to create is a sense of fear that she will lose what she is already comfortable with if she isn't willing to take the next step with you. What I'm trying to say is, don't let her become too comfortable with a situation you personally aren't happy with. You are supposed to have options and consider yourself & and your time to have much higher value than to accept second or third best. If she wants you then this should be clear to her that she needs to be willing to chase you a little to get what she actually wants so to speak.

Hope any of this helps. Please don't forget that if it's not this girl you end up with you will 110% happier when you meet someone else. (Hindsight is 20/20 vision).

i second that guy advices.

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I am truly honoured for your first post to be on my thread ( if that makes any sense), your advice has lifted my spirits. I've come to a point where my skills are quite good, and she messed with my head.

Today she smsed in regarding to an item of clothing i had not passed on to someone. she hassled me slightly but she was friendly after i told her 3 times ill deal with it tomorrow. she put a smily and said anyway how are you (name) followed by a Y e.g. mikey... which is still friend zone in my opinion. so i didn't reply....

Its a damn shame as i was really hoping to go to a party with her this sat...

Hi,

So the ending to this is not desired effect as one might have hoped. The freeze out worked opposite, it sent her running right back to the guy she was seeing, the same guy who was cheating behind her back.

She has a date with him on the Saturday. So I've pretty much closed that door. What there is to be learnt from this, is that girls who need a ton of attention from the get, might be best if you give it to them and ease them slowly into a relationship. However what I did was freeze her out causing her to run back with lack of strength and attention from me.

Im unsure of exactly what went wrong, but I am knocking this one down to failure and closing the chapter.

So breaking down my experience for the point of the post and everyone who will read it after me. I wish we could clean it up and put it as reference.

1. If a girl is in a vulnerable state and is getting a lot of attention from you seems interested keep pushing to being close, keep up kino always and always talk sexually... every time you meet her try with her, once she talks about some new guy she likes... explain your feeling and freeze her ( unless she jumps onto you.. then i suggest you avoid the freeze )

2. If a girl is getting good attention from you but has no ties, like recents x's then immediately try with her, if she does not allow you, freeze her for an entire day,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9 whatever it takes for her to come to you. Yes freeze outs do work. DO NOT READ THIS POST AND FEAR A FREEZE OUT, i will use them again in a second if necessary.

I had a date with my X, which is an HB10.

Life will always go on, have fun with it. Experiment with different woman, and hey if you fail, well, in reality you always succeeded someone will come around and you will wipe your forehead in exasperation as you shag a girl that was made to be with you.

I will post the final messages of her once the messages have all passed. The main thing that worries me, is to get rid of her X, I used the truth, which was he's messing with you behind your back. He's a distant guy I know, that fucked us over...so I can't be too bothered.

I hope my failure, if nothing else helps you guys,

Regards,

Xcalibar

My experience with my current girlfriend was that I had to make her feel comfortable to resume our friendship whilst helping her see that I wasn't going to stick around forever if she wasn't prepared to move to the next level. I believe you probably made a mistake by not replying to her friendly text message, I suspect the clothing item in question was more of an excuse for her to contact you than anything else and by not replying to her friendly message she may have already either written off her chances with you or considered them unlikely.

You have to reward good behaviour with a hint of further reward for further good behaviour and just ignore any bad behavior altogether. The ball becomes constantly in her court as she becomes aware that how you respond to her is totally dependant on what she wants, but that you won't be some pawn in her games. You become the prize.

What's funny is that women are basically asking to be led into a relationship or whatever.

How did you hear about her going on a date with her ex? Did she or a mutual friend tell you? One has to consider it might be a ploy to get you back to where she wants... or to test your response. Why not send her a belated reply to her asking how you are and tell her you missed her text? A good way to gauge how she feels about you is to tell her you're considering your options but make sure she knows you're still interested. (Do this at an appropriate time). If she's prepared to let you move in on some other girl then you know she isn't keen enough, which is not what you want anyway.

Sorry to hear if it didn't work out this time, I would be interested to hear if there are any further developments on this.

Well, to be honest, there is more to it.... quite a bit more...

She texted again, and I was running into some major problems at work... so I got really pissed off about her annoying me about somethings. SHe got quite a back lash. Anyway as the fighting ensued, I called her by her flaws and insecurities. Selfish, etc etc...

After a while, I realised I was doing wrong and Apologised, she took it quite well and hoped that things get better at work.. She's knows I'm not a guy to get mad so she understood. Anyway the saturday party topic came up again and she said she wasn't sure.

So what I did was simple I send her a message basically ending things and saying that i refuse to complicate her life further. that i only wanted to put a smile on her face... I had told her once, enjoy me now as I won't be around for long ( sounds weird but makes them wonder, what I'm saying, where I'm going, why i would leave them).... I explaied that saturday was going to be the last time she saw me, and i just wanted to make her realise how a lady should be treated... I told her ill collect everything tomorrow ( today) and wished her the best in life...

She got worried now.. she has not accepted the saturday meet up... but I don't really care.

Have a date on friday with a hot blond.. and my x is coming out with me on valentines a major HB10... with a bit of a harsh character.