Went on a coffee date with the girl with the weird eyes once and then a movie date a couple of days later with the girl with the weird eyes. I gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek and also put my arm around her and kissed her on the cheek a couple of times during the movie and we held hands. I enjoyed it a lot and felt at ease. She does not dress up, but she knows a lot of interesting games like card games and she has a nice frame, I like her body.

Also, I asked a former classmate who was friendly with me in school if she knew anyone she can set me up with. She did not reply to my text message.

I bought tickets to a dinner and a dance and now I need to find a girl to take there. I only have several days!

I got tickets to a dinner and a dance. I had no one to go with. I asked the few male friends I have and also girls I sort of knew, but not really, if they know anybody they can set me up with. This is what the book by Dr Burns told me to do sort of - it said to ask friends to set you up. I think it's because I did not actually ask good friends, but people who don't know me or like me very well, is one reason why I got NO REPLIES! Also, I invited every girl I knew (except the girl I went on a date last week) and even the cashier at the coffeeshop who has been flirting with me and greeting me by my name last couple of weeks every morning. She also said no, although, it was weird, she said no out loud, but then as I was about to leave with my coffee, she said "but we can take the train together if you want to stay late [after her shift]" i could not stay much late it would have been like 30-40 minutes and so even though i said "i am up for it if you are up for it" i came back and handed her the ticket to the dinner and dance that night i wrote my number and "i am working till 4pm, but i will see you there [at the dance]" she took the ticket but then i got a call from her in an unfriendly voice saying "it was nice of me to give her a ticket but she has plans for tonight and she does not want me to lose the money on the ticket so she left it with a cashier Latisha at the register so i can pick it up. See you next week." Well I am not going to come to that coffeeshop ever again for one thing. It's a blessing in disguise, because I wanted to stop wasting money on eating out anyways. 2. I think I misunderstood her. I think she did not want the ticket but she might have wanted for me to take the train home with her and she did not realize i had to go back to work at that time and could not wait for her. Or she could have been playing/manipulating me all along. I am just going to quit and not try with her again. I ignored her first phone call and that was good because I don't plan to return her voicemail. 3. She could be a crazy girl and have the police waiting for me at the cash register. I imagine a Latisha to be a big black (no racism sorry) woman who will be mean to me if I come. This girl could have the police waiting for me there accusing me of stalking her or something and making a restrainging order. 4. I waited a longer time than usual to reply to an email and was late to my date last week with a different girl and the date went well. I think inviting girls and then dropping them or not calling them back is good practice to make them want you more.

I am going to forget about the coffeeshop girl even though there might have been something there, and maybe I pushed her away because of my insecurities, but hey, if she wanted to meet me, she would have met done it already. I invited her to a dance before and asked if she wanted me to bring her a flyer to the dance and she said ok but later. That is kind of a no.

Anyway, so the good news is I came home today, and instead of checking facebook and email and okcupid or ebay, i avoided the computer on purpose, and cleaned, cooked, and organized my home! I also focused on what is important, like checking that i have money and everything i need to go to work tomorrow morning so i do not forget anything in a rush. and now i am going to sleep! how wonderful, it is really the life i wanna live - taking care of myself at home and not wasting time being depressed on the computer.

I am in an acting class with a girl who I think might like me, but I can't get the nerve to talk to her during the class and it's very rushed afterward because she has to get home. Also, I asked her to meet outside of class twice and she said no. I also emailed her "Hey how come you have not messaged me yet?" after we exchanged emails and she did not reply.

The girl I had a date with replied to my emails, but she has not replied to the last one which I sent a day ago. I am afraid this might be it with these girls too. Fuck.

I should spend more time talking and getting comfortable with a girl before asking if they wanted to go meet with me somewhere. I avoid talking to them because I am awkward and shy and then I ask if they wanted to go somewhere, but it is too soon, and they usually say no. Or they casually give me their facebook or email, not expecting me to message them asking to meet, and when I do, they don't reply because they do not know me well enough to meet me and they probably assume I am weird and stay away. Then it creates awkwardness and makes things harder in the future. So from now on, I will focus on talking to girls and not ask them to go anywhere. I won't ask them out too soon anymore, if it's not out, but to a dance or anywhere. It does not work usually. Although it did work with the girl I went on a date two weeks ago, but she is the only one.

today was my last acting class with the cute girl. i first ignored her during the beginning of the class and then i asked her questions and we had a short abrupt conversation. i did not feel like i could have stayed at the end of the class and walked out talking to her, i felt rushed, and maybe it would have been fine and it's all my negative thinking again... anyway i was hoping to talk to her more and maybe get in touch with her outside of class.. but i guess she is not the right girl. gotta get my life together more so i can dress up, work out, and go out more again and get some dates again.

Good news is I really organized my home so it's easier to dress and cook and get myself ready for work and to go out. i will do more work with making my home more user friendly and i will post my tips!

The girl with the weird eyes who I had a movie date with and tried to kiss her on the cheeck several times and we held hands, emailed me back saying she does not usually like to see movies, but she would like to play cards with me again. I want to kiss her more, but I don't know how to do that outside of the movies? Also she does not kiss back yet lol. But I think she just does not know what to make of it yet. I am hesitant to hang out with her more because I am afraid. Oh well. I might just meet with her to play cards at a different setting so it does not become boring and see if we can bond more. Maybe play some ice breaker games.

Good news - the blind girl replied again. I waited a week before messaging her again because I was busy with work. I take the bus to work, I don't have a car to save money, so the commute wipes me out and I don't go out anymore, I sleep instead. So I did not message her for a week, and then I did two days ago and started thinking she would not reply, but she did. We might meet this Saturday again! I want to practice kissing with her, but she does not like movies so we are going to play cards at a coffee shop instead. I am going to have to talk 1:1 with her and pay attention to he and not be consumed by my weird emotions i get when I am on a date with a woman.. I am not sure how to play this. I will try to flirt I guess.

Also, good news. My acting class is all done. So all of my evenings after work are free except the one when I have group psychotherapy. I have more time to sleep and feel rested now!

Also, I've put all the clutter in my house into my closet and I organized my apartment better with the help of Organization articles from apartmenttherapy.com The articles 5 things to do before you go to bed and 10 tips to organize your home made like a new era in my life! really. now i wash the dishes and cook for the next day and pack lunch to work before i go to sleep. also i have hooks on the wall for my coat and hat near the entryway (i used to throw it down somewhere instead) also i have a clothes rack that says Clean on one side and Dirty on the other and it only has clothes for the next several days for work. so it's easy to use. also, when i come into my house, i take out and sort everything i brought into the house. i have a sorting station. i put my shoes on top. i take everything out of my bad and put it all in their right place. i have one set place for wallet, keys, cellphone, also i have a charging station.

the girl with the weird eyes did not reply for almost a week to my last email. i want to send her another email or call her because she could have missed it. however, given that my emails usually suck, and that she replied to all my other emails before, i probably should not. but i want to ask her on another date again, she has said yes in the past, i just did not have time for it before now.

Hello mate,

Read a few of your reports. Make good reading, and quite entertaining how you word somethings, lol. Will stay tuned!

Oh hey there! Are you dating at all, bobbyp? Cause lots of people on this forum don't seem to get many dates, but some do. I have only had 5-8 dates in like my entire life lol! My last one was a month ago, a movie date, where I only kissed a very nerdy girl on the cheek a couple of times and we held hands, and we have been emailing back and forth. I have not asked her out again yet because I don't have a car and taking the bus is a drag, I've been tired between my job and the commute.

My aunt got a puppy which is several months old now. I took it for a walk yesterday. One girl asked me for directions and an old woman with a dog stopped and we had a conversation. I feel like walking a dog is a very social thing to do, especially it is easy to talk to other dog owners. I was dressed up like a model too!

The girl with the weird eyes did not reply to my last email for a week, I was starting to become desperate and wanted to send her another email or call her just to make sure I did not lose her and that I can another date. Good thing I waited, because she just replied to my email saying she is sorry she took so long to reply! I should ask her out soon!

Steve

The only time I can get myself together and figure what to do around the house - wash dishes, do laundry, go grocery shopping, etc. - is when I have to go work the next morning and I only have a few hours to get it myself ready.

On my days off, when I am at home all day, I everything takes so long and I spend hours being lazy and confused what to do and simple things like eating breakfast take very long. Also I lazily browse on the computer and do one thing at a time and things seem impossible to start. For example, vacuuming seems too hard and almost impossible because there is stuff lying on the floor that needs to be picked up first.

My day off NEEDS to start with me going to bed earl at 8pm or 9pm the night before, waking up at 5am like I usually do for work, and then I need to clean and sort out dishes, do laundry and put shirts and socks in their drawers, I need to decide what I will cook for the next few days and make a shopping list and go shopping - all in the morning and during the day on my days off. So than I can do something else like visit my friend or just get myself ready and go to bed early again so that I get enough sleep before work.

Today has been better than my last day off because last time I left off grocery shopping until 8pm so I went to bed late and did not get the housework done at all, so it would not get done until my next day off.

Today I bought a bunch of groceries to make soup, salad, also sausages, and to make borshct and all this food so I can eat more and gain weight and also don't have to eat out or go hungry.

Also I bought a $200 rice cooker. My friend has a cheap one and makes very tasty rice! This high end rice cooker should make it even tastier. I will post the recipe or a video at some point because I think it might be very popular easy dish to impress chicks.

Also I got a bunch of stuff I need for the kitchen so it's easier to cook and store food for the rest of the week.

Also I have been saving up money because I eat out a little less (I used to spend $20 a day eating out also $6 each time I went to a coffee shop) and because I don't have a car I am saving up money from my pay checks!

I heard people on the bus talking about how they will spend their tax refund money. One girl was saying how she will buy a new computer once she gets the refund. Well, it's clear none of them have $5,000-10,000 saved up because then, well a couple of hundred would not matter, they would just go buy the computer or whatever whenever they need and the refund money would not make any difference - it would just mean a little more money piled away.

Also, it is hard to even go out or even think about going to a date with a girl because I have to use the bus and don't have a car. I get tired after work, and I saw the girl with the weird eyes who I had a date with a month ago or so, and did not feel like talking to her (she did not see me) because I was tired after work and feeling/looking miserable and did not see a point in talking to her like that.

It is also much physical stress on my body and means I will be sleep deprived and have time to feed myself well or get my house clean and organized (which it has never ever really been yet, because I only keep trying to organize it) if I go dancing or go on a date after work. Of course, I could go on my days off! But then if I get home late, I don't get enough sleep for work the next day, and I am miserable the rest of the week.

But I am choosing to be responsible and not get a car and rather save up the money. I don't wanna end up without any savings or just spend everything I ear for the next several years. Also, I cringe when I think how much a car costs and the stuff I could get with the money instead. Also, what if I lose my job. I see all these people on the forums and in real life who foreclosed their mortgaged house or just don't save or don't pay their credit card or student loans because they spend money on the car. But it's also tempting to get a car because my young years are going by, I am not really working out or going out or having sex or dating or socializing with other young people, I am just working, shopping cleaning and cooking at home and also sometimes seeing family or a friend (which I have like 2 friends now total - sounds pathetic but i have not had any friend at all from when i was like 14 to 21 and also before I was 11 I never had any friend either. so i only had a friend for two years when i was like 12 yo, then i had a friend when i was like 15 for a year, but then nothing until i was 21. most days i went without saying more than 1-3 sentences to another kid all day at school and of course I did not talk at home) Also with a car I could visit and help my family with errands or just to watch a movie together, eat together or help with babysitting my little sister. Also I would spend less time commutign to and from work and could go to different dances or gyms.

Asked two girls in the train where their fuky shopping bag was from. They said the name of the store, i listened, nodded and did not say anything else. they did not move away their feet or turn their backs toward me. good sign.

work has been good, i am still working and saving up money. but as always, i feel very anxious and tense at work which wipes me out.

i am still not buying a car, although i really want to, because i don't want to go into debt and get a car loan and i don't know how to buy a used car without getting ripped off or losing out in the long term. cars cost so much money. but i would have to save up for five more months in addition to spending my current savings to buy a car with cash and then i would have no nest egg to help me or my family if anything happened and we needed money. also i could not get rid of a car easily without losing money. and gas prices are rising and cars are bad for the planet. but, without a car, i cannot go visit my family without spending hours on the train, and it would be easier to get girls with a car and go to dates, also, i could go to events and social dances or dance lessons. i am afraid i am getting older quickly, and my prime dating years are going by, and i really want to socialize, invite friends over, date and have sex with girls, and the money i save now by not getting a car, well, it won't be as useful to me when i am thirty or fourty years old. i am in my mid twenties and i almost paid off my college loans and have savings and a job. that's pretty rare and i should just appreciate it and be content. also, being time constrained because of the long commute by bus, it forces me to get more organized and it is helping me break the habit of goofing off and not doing anything at home. i come home now, hang my clothes, empty my bag and sort out the contents, wash the dishes, cook, do laundry, and go to sleep. i have usually spent 1-3 hours on the computer instead. so if i got a car, this does not mean i will do more stuff, i might just revert back to my old lazy habits.

Male friend coming over tomorrow evening. I want to invite people to my house more. I always feel awkward when I do and never really invite anyone. I am going to try to invite people over a lot and watch movies/eat food.

I got an expensive rice maker. I am hoping to make yummy rice which will also be a treat for my guests and any girls I invite. Also, just like I've been telling girls I go salsa/swing dancing, I will now tell them I make yummy rice. My female cousin loves how her asian bf makes yummy rice and an easy soy sauce/tomatoes/onions side. I tried it and it's delicious. First try today, although I followed the instructions and washed the rice and measured it out, it came out a little less than I expected, still kinda tasty on its own. But I have a lot of learning to do. I should reallly get into cooking and take classes and learn from people how to cook and what to pay attention to. Devil is in the details.

when i have a lot of free time, I don't know what to do with myself and then at the end of the day i realize that i could have gone grocery shopping, bought shoes I needed for work, etc. It's only when I have to go to work the next day or after I come home from work that I can think straight and organize my time.

Last week I had a friend come over. We ate the yummy rice from the rice maker and chopped tomatoes and onions mixed with soy sauce. then we went for a walk. i dressed up for the walk. we dont approach any strangers outside, even though there are plenty of girls going out that night.

I am just going to keep inviting people. I will get more at ease with guests at home and learn how give them food and where to sit them and stuff. I will also get to be with people more not just alone which will be good for me. I don't wanna go to bars still because they make me feel uneasy and anxious and you don't meet any women at bars anyway. I'd rather just socialize.

I noticed this woman going to same coffee shop as me. I waited until we were in the line, turned around, smiled, said, "hi, how are you?" she did the same back. I turned around and did my order and left.

My goal is to start saying hi to women that happen to be around me more, this will get me motivated to go out and socialized with women again, also iron my nice shirts and dress up, keep my hair and nails trimmed, and also to psych myself up so I am more attractive.

Other than that, my only progress is with my job - I am saving up money! I got my driver's license two months ago, still not getting a car because I don't want to go into debt.

No dates in past 3 months. The girl with the weird eyes replied after a week that her work is very busy and she needs time to get sleep. I agreed with her over email saying I've stopped dancing as well to get more rest in between work. And she has not replied for two weeks since. I think I have to move on to finding new dates.

talked to a girl reading a book at a coffee shop and got her email. thinking of not emailing her because even though we had a nice conversation, i've email closed 1-2 girls at that same spot in that coffee shop in the past and they turned out to be flakes. i also said hi and smiled to 1-2 girls i passed by on the street and did not get any warm replies.

with the girl at the coffee shop, i came in and went to check out the free newspapers at the coffee shop first. the place was empty, except two girls sitting in a corner with a table in between. i put down the newspaper and my bag on the free table in between, then went to get my coffee so not make it very overbearing and obvious that i sitting near the girl on purpose. leaving your stuff and then making the order and coming back and sitting where you already have your stuff is a more subtle approach than to go with your stuff and your order directly next to the girl. i did not talk to her, because her back was towards me. eventually a third girl started sitting next her and she had to move over and make some conversation with that girl. once she made some noise and was moving it felt more natural to open her. i asked what she was reading and smiled, she did not hear me i think so i smiled and said how are you? then asked her again what she was reading. i also did not tell much about myself until she asked, and then maybe i talked too much once again because i was nervous, but i also tried to look for any genuine reaction i had to what she was telling me so i could tell her and catch her interest. i asked for an email and said i could email her and she gave it to me, it was an awkward silent moment, i put her email on the newspaper i was reading and we continued to talk. i was trying not to fish for her approval and not to wait to warm up to her or ask take initiative with flirting or conversation until she gave me approval; instead i looked for anything i approved about her and then tell her. i told her i liked that she was almost done with her college program and that she is nice so her clients will like her and then i told her jokingly to get good grades. i also had a nice shirt on that women like that is from a second hand shop but does still looks good, and also my $60 Armani Exchange sunglasses that match the shape of my face, i was wearing them on my head, not my eyes though.

overall, i am glad i started talking to women who happen to be nearby, and dressing up when i go out a little. i still have no excuse for not getting my nails or my neck hair trimmed or walking around in cheap old sneakers. i am getting new $100 shoes for the summer on Saturday.

I will not email the girl because I don't feel like i am good enough to date her and i got no replies the last times I email closed during a conversation that seemed to go well at the coffee shop, so this one will probably not work out too, so i just dont wanna get rejected again. This negative thinking is probably depriving me of an opportunity, but i am going to leave it at that.