I have a complex story to tell and a few questions to ask... Any advice is appreciated. I could use some help...

The story starts out with me, my friend, and a girl... My friend and I work as TV engineers. One day he brought a girl with him to a shoot we were doing. She stayed in the same hotel as us, and hung out with us. It seems as though they were going out. I ended up with her phone number and a friend of hers on Facebook. She lived in the northern part of the state, my friend and I lived in the southern part of the state. I got deployed to Iraq. I was gone for 6 months. While I was gone, I asked my friend about her. My friend is one of those guys who changes girls more than he changes underwear and often times they will tell me or another friend of our friend what a douche bag he is and how inconsiderate he is. Anyway back to the story. I returned home from Iraq and ended up "living" in the northern part of the state for lack of a better word, just milling around looking for a job. I texted the girl, asked her if she wanted to go grab some dinner. She tells me, "honestly, it would just remind me of Rico." (Rico is her nickname for my friend.) Later in the night, she texts me and she's like come pick me up, I live here. I'll grab dinner with you. She "goes out" with me. Oliver Garden it was. The conversation wasn't bad. She tells me how much every guy she has ever dated is a douche bag, and how Rico just stopped texting and calling her, and that she has texted him and he hasn't answered. I find out from her they only went on three dates, and then he stopped talking to her. She tells me how Rico is one of the only guys she could actually see herself with. I quickly realize this was a play to get my friend to respond to her. She sends him a picture of us at dinner. She ends up paying for her dinner, she gives me cash after I swiped the card. I try not to take it. Later I learn from Rico she said to him, tell (my name) he's never gonna get laid if he doesn't pay for dinner. Interesting interesting relationship. So I leave her alone for a while. We end up hanging out again. She vents and tells me about her life. Tells me how she feels about life. I realize her and I have very much the same views of our church, our local area, and our society. She is very cynical and believes no one actually cares about her. Of course part of my post tonight is to set out to prove her wrong. When we do hang out, we have crazy in depth conversations and we click on an awesome level but when it comes down to this texting non-sense or calling she is very direct and to the point. I try and just text her but when I do she answers with one word responses and almost to the point she doesn't want anything to do with me. I don't know am I just a sounding board. I don't know what to think or how to perceive the situation. She has now moved to another state back in with her dad. I don't know how to show her I care about her especially when my texts are met with open hostility. I'm kind of split on this. Half of me says let the girl go, the other half says prove to her that not all the people in the world are assholes. Show some people actually care about her. I don't know how to do this. She isn't much for talking on the phone and she doesn't like texting. It's best in person but she lives far away now. I don't know what to do. I need some help from some masters here. I need some help to know how I can get this girl to drop her shields, at least as far as her texting and calling shields. She will at least talk to me in person and have in depth awesome conversations. Help me out here. I'm lost as a mother effer. I need some guidance here.

I've had situations with girls where we've had "things" but obvious feelings for ex-bf's were in the picture.

This just pissed me off so I just say fuck it and stopped wasting my time. I don't know if it's jealousy or what, but I don't like feeling like I'm the "other guy" that's hanging around until she gets what she really wants.

ACTUALLY here's a story...


Basically there was another chick I had a thing with, only kissed etc. Hung out and all that. Her boyfriend that I didn't know she was seeing basically broke up with her, she was all sad, throws a party and wants me there.

We hang out at the party, and lo and behold the ex-bf/druggie shows up, they're still broken up.

Anyways, just like you we had an AMAZING IN DEPTH CONVERSATION that was insane, I literally felt so good, like we were matched perfectly. Similar ideals, similar interests, similar personalities. Shit like that makes you actually care for a woman. She tells me she knows he's not good for her being into drugs and all, I don't agree with her or anything, I just don't respond when she talks about her ex.

So after this crazy good discussion, her ex-bf comes out drugged up or something (I couldnt even tell, but he only drank a few beers), basically treats her like shit, and all of a sudden she's all over him again.

It was that moment I realized girls can be fucked in the head sometimes, no matter how good a conversation goes, their emotions get tied and up there's no stopping it.

I think this extreme of an example is what I needed to wake me up. I'm actually glad this shit happened before my very eyes, it made me feel like shit, but if you feel like she's thinking of someone else when hanging with you, just say fuck it.

In your situation it's very clear she's trying to make her ex jealous, I'd suggest moving on. You'll probably feel like shit thinking you had something like I did, and had an ideal girl, but you'll forget about her eventually.