YOOOOOOOOOO

I just spent a fucking looooooooooong time writing a post on "Introduce Yourself." Then I clicked to post it, and it wasn't there! AARGH! So what's up community, I'm getcrunk777. I drink piss, smoke dope, gamble my savings... hence the name.

So I was at this bar the other day. My mate actually owns the bar, and so I walked in and straight away poured a drink behind the bar myself. The bartender chick, who was the target, was damnnnnnnn fine. She's from... ummm... somewhere in Europe, and was a sweet lil HB.

I introduced myself.

"Hey, what's ur name?"
"I'm Jana"
"I'm getcrunk777 (lol)"

We had some sexual eye contact going on, or maybe I was just mesmerized by her eyes, they were so beautiful...

So, I got pretty crunk with my mate, which was probably my first mistake as I know bitches hate it when drunk guys hit on them. After a while, she was just standing there not serving anyone. I was pretty fucked by then, we had already smoked some weed and hit some speed, along with the alcohol.

So I went up to her and started talking shit. I've read half Style's book so far, and watched Mystery on that PUA reality show. So I tried standing next to her, about a 3 feet away, facing the way she was rather then toward her.

I started with the opener I saw Matador use on the dude when he was wingman'ing the chubby guy.

ME "Is it just me or... What's with the humidity in here?"
JANA "Blah Blah Must be you" she says. (IOD?)
ME "So you been in Australia long?"
JANA "No, I came to work blah blah dumb shit"
ME "You studying here?"
JANA "No"

At that point I ran out of shit to say. You're meant to keep talking shit right? Mannnn, I fuckin' couldn't think of anything! The vibe got a little weird so I went and chilled with the boys. Maybe I should have said "Bye" or some shit...

Later on I was just like, Fuck it, I'm gonna go for it. I was just about to get $600 worth of meth for my mate, so I put it in my pocket, called her and said "Hey come into the office."

ME "Close the door"
*She closes it, a little scared of this big, drunk brown dude*
ME "Hey, do me a favour and count this cash"
JANA "600 dollars?"
ME "Yea cool. Hey, Australian money is weird. If you look through the plastic window you can see a crazy face"

At this point I was trying to do some random hypnotizing shit like I read in Style's book. I dunno where that came from LOL!!!

JANA "I can't see it"
ME "Close one eye"
JANA "Still can't"
ME "Slow down your breathing"

Then I tried to match her's. No fucking idea what I was doing!! LOLOLOL

So here we are staring in each other's eyes now with hell slow breathing for like 5 seconds. Then I leaned in to try kiss her and she pushed me away. Hell embarassing! HAHAHAHA. I was tanked though.


Ok boys. Tell me where I fucked up...

Next report shall be delivered sober! I promise hahahahaaaaaaaaaa

btw thanks for ur time!

hahahaha.... dudeeeee thanks for the encouragement. but to be completely honest, I wouldn't have had the balls to go in for the kiss.

How would you have handled the situation from the start? Coz he gets a new bar bitch every week Ideally I could mack them all with the right gameplan...

ok then...

say she's not interested and she lets you know. do you give up? what's your plan in that case?

also if you could give me one tip, what would it be??

and yes, i shall endeavor to make my next field report about a sober attempt...

so by the way man, how many chicks have you tapped so far? thanks for being the first dude to reply! stay in touch!

i get what you're saying dude. that "playing hard to get" is a good line.

seems like my short-term objective to pass level 1 of this game is to work some material into my brain so I don't just stop talking like a clown!! when I'm sober I'm a pretty damn witty mofo, weed just slows down the thinking. no more weed. LOL...

do you have favourite lines you throw at these chicks? i like your approach man, not making too much of a science out of it... like bruce lee "the best style, is no style"... but then again, when ur clueless, it ends up leaving you back at square one... you know what i'm sayin?

so how long have u been in "the game" playa?

hahaha...

the answers are so damn obvious!

will continue to pick your brain tmrw if that's cool! but for now, better get that damn elusive sleep!

appreciate the help bro

peace