Hey sex addict

Im in college right now and my biggest sticking point so far has been lack of escalation. I have multiple girls attracted to me but im not very good at getting further than that.

Do you have any advice towards escalating sexually? I do some kino and am a pretty confident guy but i have trouble reaching the next steps. Any advice towards escalating on dates or at parties would be great!

Thanks in advance

Jackal,

Take a look at the link I posted earlier regarding the relationship between self esteem and abilities. Secondly, I took a look at your thread. Regardless of type of community you are interacting with, if that community is giving you negative energy, you have three choices. 1. Get out of that particular community. 2. Identify and correct the behavior that is drawing negative energy. 3. Keep doing what you're doing, continue to receive negative energy, and whine and complain.

There is a reason why this 38 year old is in a profession that requires no team work and why he's trolling around random websites trying to figure out how to feed himself while receiving condescending heckles from kids 15 years younger than him. This is his life. I'd urge you to think about this a little bit now so that you don't become a 38 year old 'alpha' male massage therapist who trolls websites looking for a $50 SPAM check by telling 20 year kids to stare at random women and tell them that they have bedroom eyes.

By the way, 'ignoring' an amog at a bar/club is the worst thing you can do. "Shutting up" is an invitation for him to continue and a nice way to demonstrate to your girl that you're a eunuch. 1. A club isn't the internet. 2. You are NOT his target. 3. You are the stepping stone for the girl. 4. The girl sitting next to you is his target. 5. Address it quickly and correctly before he's invested into 'winning' an argument.

Do a search on the topic in this forum.

Give me some advices on picking up a girl on a very loud club. The point here is only to take her home, if I get rejected... Life goes on lol.

Thank u for advice. When it is polite it is interesting. My link is a reflection of the past and not the future.

I do not have an aspiration to be Sex Addict, I just happen to admire his skill set just like I do yours. Your reaction to Sex Addict has not been fair. If we were all 100 percent contented then we would not be on this forum. The reason for Sex Addict to be here is for the same reason u give advice.

My personal opinion is that we should say things on the internet that we can say in person. I feel this is honorable. Some may call it being congruent. Sex Addict is not familiar with this form of internet criticism as it does not have the same rituals of real life. As a first timer of this internet theater he is doing reasonably well.

I have learned that behaving differently online to what a person is behaving in reality would not give someone a true impression of who a person really is.

I do feel that Sex Addict is saying things to people that he would have the stomach to say in real life. I feel that deserves respect.

_________________
Meet and Wing.

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The Jackal an Introduction.
[link]

The Field Reports.
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The Lay Reports.
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I have been following this thread, and have garnered much useful information.

Even scrolling through the Oprah Winfrey, round table portion.

I have found the best way to win an argument, is to walk away, knowing that I am right!

I am not one of you young bucks, I am 52 but this is the path I have chosen to peruse. I was divorced after 22 years. So I must pick up and move on from there!

After joining the gym again with a long absence, I found the best way to get back to the physical condition goal I was looking for was to find and befriend someone that is at that point, and do everything they do!

On to the question in point.

My online game seems to be on point, Lots of IM, Texting, and Sexting.

Day game is not bad, especially with women my own age. (being more fit than most anyone I meet my age helps tremendously).

So SexAddict911?

I seem to be having a freeze up issue, at F close, I start thinking about logistics, her kids being home, my kid being home. did I have one to many drinks to not pass a sobriety test?

And yes kids I still get laid, by my main booty call very regular.

Due in part to some of the good advice I have gotten from this site (kudos Stylelite), I average about 7 "meetings" per month, about 50% online 50% face to face.

Case in point, I meet this HB8. that no shit looked just like she dropped off the show Jersey Shore. but we only met for coffee on Sunday before lunch, I had the mind set already, of no pressure, to set up a day two. It all went very well, lots of eye contact, progressive touching, util time to close. I said I had thing to do, we should go. Walked her to her car. I kissed her on the cheek. she obviously wanted MORE. I just said text me later and left .

How do I get past this mental stumbling block??

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

This sounds like you have a lot of experience in losing the girl. Sorry to hear that, but i guess that happens a lot to a man that has never been an alpha, and has a hard time understanding the mentality. Do to his own self delusions and arrogance.

I never once said to shut up, i said pretend he's not there, I also said to stand your ground. Read the fucking post little man. Yet another out of context rant from the runt. Address it quickly?

How Kasabi, how would YOU "Address is quickly" do tell! ( when I say YOU i mean YOU not what you think should happen or what you would tell others to do.

Do a search on this forum? I don't need to, I have already been in this situation many many times. I know how to deal with it. From experience, not from a freaking forum search.

As for dealing with AMOG's you don't have a clue. You know why you don't? cuz you have never been one and never will be. And you have never successfully done it yourself. You can't possibly understand the mentality. You say shit like alpha's are leaders. Bullshit! sure there are some Alpha leaders, but not the ones you are talking about. You think CEO's of company's are alpha? Ha! Do you think your Country's leader Obama, is Alpha? You think high level executives are alpha's ( LMAO) You have no clue!.
They got where they did because they are NOT alpha, and a position of authority gives them a sense of being alpha. You are a little runt of a man that is only tough on your keyboard, how could you possibly know! You are only preaching what you read.

How many U.F.C fighters do you know of that are leaders? Yet they are all alpha's

How many NFL players are alpha? Pretty much all of them except their leaders. The coaches and QB's If you don't know about a topic, it's ok to admit it Kasabi. Instead of just copy/pasting the definition. Why don't you just ask some alpha's. You seem to be good at pyschology, you could probably learn a lot by just asking. Why not just admit that you don't know everything and ask.




Notice there is no talk of this saturday?

You're all talk kid, I like how you phrased it too. Sure I'll take someone out and show them a good time and show them around. This isn't a fucking social call. It's a challenge, to show that you can actually do what you say. WITH REAL WOMEN. You offer 20:1 odds I will not show, yet here I am ready and willing.

Every challenge you have issued me I have answered. I can't believe i give you this much time. In real life i would just bitch slap you and fuck your girlfriend.


I put up another post for the sole purpose OF YOU challenging my advice there, yet you mock me and this community by ignoring it and directly highjacking my advice on this post. Who the fuck do you think you are? Are you so arrogant that you think you are above everyone else on this forum. You don't know what it is to be a player, in fact you don't even know what it is to be a member of society.

You preach a good game sure, but WHY when it comes to real life questions? You cower like a little school girl. How old are you Kasabi? What's your profession? When's the last time you got laid? When's the last time you stole a woman from a group of guy's. How do you get threesomes. How many ways do you know how to make a woman orgasm? How many women have told you they love you? You're great at sharing your opinion.

You assume to know me, you don't have a clue kid. I have only been a massage therapist for a couple of years. I do it because there is a lot of reward in helping people that are suffering, and the money is great. Not to mention the perks that come with it, WOMEN! No group work? I deal with people every day, from Professional athletes to terminally ill cancer patients. What are your borders of people skills.

You wan't to get to know me, read my book when it comes out. Even know you think I am a "retard" I can guarantee you will be one of the first to buy it.

You can't even last a day without reading this thread of the so called "retard/buffoon/gay/immature massage therapist with the intelligence of a brocholli"


If you can't even accept a challenge or show your own credibility, then just go away, you are wasting my time. TALK IS CHEAP!

In the future, if you want to challenge my advice......FIND THE OTHER THREAD IT"S MADE JUST FOR THIS REASON

I'm not hiding, I am right here. You want to debate Let's do it? ( on the other thread) You want to challenge my game in real life? LETS DO IT! Hell I'll even go head to head with you in the same club/party/day game/social gathering.

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Seduce their mind and the rest will follow.

Hey There, I am glad to see you are back at it. life is too short to not enjoy yourself. People seem to think older people should just sit at home and read or golf.

I think it is important to realize you are in a better situation then most when it comes to meeting and being intimate with women. There is far less games when it comes to older people. Sure a woman may still want to be courted, but they don't have time for BS. So no need to play any games. People are wiser as they get older, and tend not to have time for anything but the truth. Especially when it comes to dating. I say, be aggressive, speak your mind always. Be sexually open. If you want to do a woman right when you meet her, tell her. Odds are she will be good to go, if not she will respect your honesty and dictate her own pace.

As for your inner thoughts, be open about them too. Tell the woman your thoughts, exactly as they come. Women your age or close to it, should already have seen a lot of the world and the people in it. They already know how men are. They will understand and appreciate the honesty. They are not gonna judge you like a 25 yr old women would. So no need for anxiety. If you speak your mind and show your inner vulnerabilities, they will no longer be an issue. Usually anxiety when it comes to dating is based on " what the woman may think of you" or "what other observers will think" I am sure by now you know that really doesn't matter. If a woman doesn't think well of you, just move on. There is millions of single older woman just dying for attention, especially from a fit man your age. Your market is much bigger then one would think. There is not as much competition as a lot of men in their 50's are so set in their ways, if they are not getting laid on the reg, they accept it. Or they don't have it in them anymore to chase women.

The fact that you do have it in you, makes you unique and a rarity. Most women that are single at around your age, are dying to date. They tend to have forgotten that they can be desired.

I say, show them they are desirable, remind them of their youth. Compliment a lot, show your sexuality. Showing desire to a woman that feels as though she is well past her prime will only make her feel great.

If you eliminate your inner thoughts by making them outer thoughts. These issues you are having should be gone and the next steps can be dictated by you both rather then haunting your mind.

Good luck my friend.

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Seduce their mind and the rest will follow.

A 38 year old who behaves that way in real life deserves your pity.

Body language is essential for initial approaches. If you don't know a lot about it, there is some very good books out the for reading others or directing your body language.

Ideally, the loud music can help as you can get closer to her to talk. Just be careful not to yell in her ear. Get close and face her straight on. But while you are talking to her, pay attention to her body language, if she is giving you signs of interest. Try for the quick escape. You can say stuff like, its too loud in here to talk. I find you very intriguing, lets get out of here and find somewhere not as loud so we can talk. If she is willing to leave it's a sign of interest and trust. Good odd's to seal the deal. If she's not willing to leave right then and there. Get her digit's tell her you will text. If it's simply too loud to talk. Try to engage her with your body language, dance with her. if it starts to run a little dry from lack of conversation. Tell her you have to go find your friends and you will be back. But tell her to watch her phone as you will be texting her. Then simply go away, but text her. Work your game through the text, you still maybe able to hook up with her when she is leaving.e) or after her friends are home....etc etc. ( be sexual in your texts, women tend to be more open with strangers when they are not face to fac

Keep in contact, all night. Suggest meeting for some food, coffee. or your place or hers. Go with the flow. If you have already escalated somewhat with your body language, then simply suggest hanging out, but always show sexuality. If you are constantly showing your sexuality and bringing it up in your conversation and with your body language. She will associate you with SEX. So even if she is "just meeting you for coffee" sex will be implied. Keep it strong, if she trusts you enough to leave or meet up with you after. There is a awesome chance you are getting laid. Just don't be too pushy, let her dictate the pace, warm her up. get her in the mood.

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Seduce their mind and the rest will follow.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alpha_%28ethology%29

by definition you are incorrect, it is the status that a person holds that would deem them alpha or beta, don't confuse dominant, physically attractive, and rich, with alpha, status is attractive, and football players have alot of it (same with ufc fighters, they have status among other fighters), the athletes hold more status then all other athletes thus making them high status among athletes, if a girl wants an athlete then these men are prime picking, however on the field the coach's are alpha, at work the ceo's are alpha, the followers are beta, this is the way being the person with the highest status and authority works, you don't lead someone and have less status then them, that is an oxymoron

@ Pumpington

I agree to disagree. Dana white may not be as ALPHA as some other UFC fighters but he still is. As do all the other UFC fighters that are not as Alpha as some. Put them into the world outside of fighters, and they are dominant to all. Power and position may exhibit some alpha qualities, but it does not make them Alpha. If you took president Obama and a regular joe that is alpha, and you stranded them both on a deserted island. Given enough time, Who do you think would be the dominant one? When all other social status is eliminated.

What about the animal kingdom where there is no looks, social status, wealth. etc.
The Alpha is simply the most dominant. He is the leader, only because of this.

Most leaders in our world are leaders through status wealth and education. Not because they are alpha.

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Seduce their mind and the rest will follow.

that is the problem, social status exists and is a factor, it is the reason why when guys get famous they all of a sudden can do better with women, that is why improving your lifestyle overall is an attractive thing to do, that is why alot of women will show interest in you if you roll up to the club in a ferrari instead of a pinto, social status matters, material possessions and fame are the proof that you possess status and respect, and as for obama and some random joe, people with natural leadership qualities will naturally fall into leadership rolls, being physically intimidating and being a leader are not the same thing, there are two ways to gain respect in my opinion, one way is fear, and the other is admiration, and we are human not animals, when dealing with humans it is more likely for someone to gain high status through intelligence and their ability to interact with people and have a wide network of support, rather then be the biggest brute swinging ufc gloves around killing all the men in their path who appose them

and once again, most leaders in the world are leaders because they are leaders, the alpha is the leader by definition regardless of the way the person earned their respect among their peers

1. Address the girl, "Hey, do you know this guy?" - the answer is no.
2. Address the guy, "The lady doesn't know you and I don't know you. Do you have anything to say to us?"
3. Let the guy talk.
4. "Are you done? We're busy. Thanks."

A guy pretty similar to you once told me that he wouldn't let me talk to a pair of ladies that he came to the bar with:

1. Ask the ladies, "Is this your brother? Uncle?" - The answer is no. . . giggling.
2. Address the guy: Who I choose to talk to is my choice. Who the ladies talk to is theirs. Who you choose to talk to is your choice. Do you have anything more to say?"
3. Silence.
4. "We're busy, thanks."


Reading is a good thing. I highly suggest it.
Wrong. Alpha fighters lead their gyms. They run training camps. They lead younger fighters. Alpha players on a football team lead others who play in their positions. The captains lead the team. The coach leads all. None of these leadership positions are self appointed. Without a beta, there is no alpha. Your only beta is a bottle of massage oil and clean towels.
Yes it is. This is a beer and a chat with women.
Let me offer you an example: (I'll offer you some advice after you reply)

I was an International business broker in Asia. I leveraged those relationships and started up a technology company in the States. At second round of fund raising, I'm out (with some equity). Working on a software project now. I can't describe my profession other than perhaps a low level entrepreneur.


1. I think I told you that massage therapists are cool. (I sincerely admire this profession) 2. But here is no such thing as an alpha massage therapist. . . unless you're teaching a group of students or running a health center, leading a bunch of therapists. If you had the quality, you'd already be doing it.
I honestly think you'd to yourself a huge favor by taking a few classes.

We are not animals.
We do not live on an island.