I have a young SHB mistress. Relationship is based largely on DHV as one can imagine. I'm experiencing some behaviours, probably inherent in the dynamic, but which I'd like to 'retrain'/condition. I need some pointers on how to do this, ideally good training articles appropriate outside of a bar environment.

Here are the issues I deal with often:

• Expects me to pay for shopping (groceries, clothes, pets) and doesn't thank me. Truly expects it! I'm happy to pay/help, but I'd like her to show reciprocal gratitude with the kind of activity I want (time, effort and sex). Ideally I'd like her to earn each gift.
• Sulking and averting as mechanisms to handle conflict
• She (surreptitiously) text flirts with other guys - the kind of guys one would expect to find around an SHB. I think I respond very badly, and DLV myself in the process. I'm assured of her fidelity (for now) but it drives me wild! She claims it's because she needs to keep her options alive as I can't commit, which is logically sound. But I need to remedy this somehow. I'd also like to know how one is supposed to deal without DLV'ing oneself.

When you say mistress, which kind do you mean?

The bdsm mistress or the lover?



You want to train your woman? That is not very nice, no matter which kind of mistress you meant.
I can imagine that she expects you to pay and doesnt give anything back. You mention that she is young, maybe she doesnt have money. But she is also flirting with others and not respecting you.

The question I have for you is, how can you believe that she is as much into this as you? Why do you try to judge her by the rules of a girlfriend when she is showing clearly that she is no such thing.
The way I would deal with it iss getting another. You deserve better than being treated like shit and used like a moron just because she happens to be pretty.

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I'm not trying to be a dick Ezo, but you're being a Pick Up Snob in my opinion.

bbardot: you just reminded me about porn

You basically hired a prostitute. You buy shit in return for sex. This alone has dropped your value in her eyes to that of a typical suger daddy. It's too late to train this women because the way she views you. I suggest you ride it out and then find another.

Also do not be surprised that when you buy a women's sexual affection that she is doing the same thing with two other guys.

Wow, brutal feedback...but it has a rather awful ring of truth to it.
Thanks guys.

Well, we are just saying what we think will help you the most. Sometimes, it is better to hear the truth than to hear what you want to hear.

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I'm not trying to be a dick Ezo, but you're being a Pick Up Snob in my opinion.

bbardot: you just reminded me about porn

Just stop paying for shit? Seems like telling her no will get the message across. As for her flirting, well dude if you are calling her a mistress I assume you're not exclusive. If you want no-strings sex, she gets to fuck other dudes.

I AM PRO SLUT!