Hello,

I added a girlf on FB 2 weeks ago. Our families are close friends and we used to hang out a few times back when we were younger. 15 years later I add her on FB and I talk to her for fun and she seems to like me. She talks to me every day but I am not attached to her attention at all even thought she is pretty.

Cut the long story short she sends me a text msg last night when I was out and says that "we had a bad internet connection so thats why I didnt get your msgs on FB, have fun tonight". I say "cool....thanks join us" and she answers "I will leave you alone to your naughty staff" but I didnt answer back.

This morning I get this msgs:

HER: You must have had a good time not to answer back
ME: I always have a good time unless something bad happens
HER: I will have that in mind, I should be careful from you then
ME: You got the point but deep down I am a good guy
HER: So I will not meet you to my friend since I guess you sleep with a different girl every night and you are unfaithfull in your relationships
ME: I dont need you to meet your friend even though what you said is something that need discussion...
HER: Am I wrong???? Lets be friends only on FB just to be safe
ME: I will not start arguing....everyone is accountable for their actions...
HER: True...
HER: Actually, I disagree, I am not accountable to anyone for my actions...

To be honest guys I don't give a flying fuck about what happens next since I was just being friendly, I never asked her to hook me up with her friends and I invited her loads of times to come in town with me for a drink. I didn't answer the last 2 messages since I can't bother to...I am sure she will be talking to me as soon as I go online on FB but don't you think she is being a drama queen? I don't even know the girl and she is complaining that I am going out too much WTF????

Your thoughts?

kinda sounded like she was playfully busting your balls and you got defensive.

although it was hard with the translation...

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More playful, less arguing.

In my book "I don't need to argue" is the same as argueing. If you really don't need to just STFU and change the thread.

These questions and this bitching about me going out all the time has been in our conversations every single day from Saturday but I steared the conversation away playfully. Now in my humble opinion I believe that this isn't playfull talk anymore and is just shit testing which I am kind of fed up from this girl....

you seem pretty butt hurt, seems more like you're the drama king then anything, why does this irrelevant shit bother you?, are you married to this girl? who cares

when she does flaky style shit (not coming to meet you, not talking to you on facebook when you want) instead of getting needy and getting pissed off and butthurt about it, go talk to another girl, get your mind off of it, and just don't go to her first, she will come back to you, then don't call her out on it, who cares, and if you don't respond and she breaks your balls about it, either agree with her and make it seem ridiculous or flip the frame and turn it into something productive for yourself

HER: You must have had a good time not to answer back
YOU: I had the greatest time, it was like a party

HER: You must have had a good time not to answer back
YOU: awweeeeeeeee, you missed me!!

HER: So I will not meet you to my friend since I guess you sleep with a different girl every night and you are unfaithfull in your relationships
YOU: You shouldn't let me meet any of your friends, Im the worst cheater alive and I will sleep with all of them

HER: So I will not meet you to my friend since I guess you sleep with a different girl every night and you are unfaithfull in your relationships
YOU:You're afraid they will steal me from you? lol jelly much?


try not to dwell on negative frames when she is leading don't react, you can be negative just don't do it as a reaction to her frame, you want this girl to associate positive emotions to you, not negative ones, you can stimulate negative emotions in her, but do your best to re-frame and not dwell on negative things, just stop being so damn reactive and caring about what she says and does, instead just go find other girls to fill time when she is not around or being lame, that way you won't get mad, you'll just get laid, and as a side effect it will be more likely that her and her friends also play with your penis

Honestly dude, I think you handled this shit pretty fucking well... She's going to write to you again, she's obviously formed some attraction.. Just keep it up

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Hello again.

Please understand the following: I haven't meat this girl for 15 years so is like I bearly no her and I don't care if she flakes or if she doesn't talk to me or if she deletes me from FB because this community has taught me that there are plenty of girls out there, which is TRUE and which is something I have experienced! Honestly, no feelings, no drama from my side no nothing

Please understand that! I am just annoyed she talks to me all the time in a negative frame of mind and I continuously try to steer that negativity into something positive...the moment above was just the nth time she did it and instead of me steering the conversation to something positive again, I just kind of "blew her off"!

So now that we have established that I don't need anything from this girl what so ever, I should inform you that she texted me again, talked to me on FB again, invited me for coffee yesterday and for Friday, something which I respectfully declined both times since I have other obligations

I am just saying that the big picture is when you don't even know a girl and she is shit testing you or giving you crap for two whole week like she is your fucking girlfriend then I guess there is a time where you crack up and answer back (if you could call what I did an answer, which basicaly I was just ignoring her).

I mean what do you do if you can keep your cool for sooooooooooooo long, around two weeks of shit testing (and I take it in a funny amusing way, don't get me wrong)! Do you ignore her stupid shit tests or do you answer back?

Thanks

arguing is stupid and pointless, just ask Fuze who gets owned every time he opens his mouth to me.

yeah, after a certain point when she is being boring just ignore her (this is called freeze out), if she continuously shows nothing but bad behavior (flakes/rudeness), then just stop responding for a week or so, then ping off her, but really re-frames and re-directs and ignoring all works, it just depends on what you want to accomplish and what is congruent to your personality