Or rather being dumped? I guess the title got your attention though.

I am writing this as a courtesy to all of you because it takes some effort and it involves personal pain.

The real question is, why are people so afraid of rejections.

This is in my opinion one of the most difficult sticking points out there. It is the cause of AA and it is the reason why people dont approach more.

Im gonna warn you though, if you read and understand this post, you will lose like 90% of your fear, you will get superpowers.


Most AFCs are terrified of rejection, so terrified that they an wait several hours or even months before approaching the girl they fancy. There is another type of people (apart from AFCs) who follow the same behavioural pattern. Girls.

A girl want to be completely sure that the guy likes her before making her move, playing it safe. There are a lot of things going on in her head so dont judge her.

So why do AFCs take rejection so hard? Because it isnt a rejection it is a breakup. Let me explain this in detail.

Everybody hates a breakup, it means that you failed a relationship, you lost love and you are a total loser for fucking stuff up. Even worse, you got dumped, so you were clearly not fit for a relationship.

For the AFC or anyone really who has a scarcity mentality, every approach counts. You are afraid of approaching so when something makes you cross the line where you absolutely have to approach, it is a girl you really like. Now, this can happen in a night or over a long period of time. Thing is, when an experienced PUA mmakes an approach, it doesnt mean too much, honeybadger doesnt give a shit. He rarely thinks beyond "shes hot, what opener ah that one" before he opens. He sees her as just another set.

When the AFC opens, he is already thinking of the girl as someone potentially important, they create the mental image in their mind of how good it would be to have her as a girlfriend. So in his mind, he has already started imagining them being in a potential relationship. So he goes in with this expectation and with the hope that she will make his fantasy come true. So mentally he is already in a potential relationship.

So if she rejects him, he has not only been rejected, he has been dumped.

So please, be careful about expecting too much!

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I'm not trying to be a dick Ezo, but you're being a Pick Up Snob in my opinion.

bbardot: you just reminded me about porn

I like it Ezo! Good words. I didn't get superpowers yet though... do those take a while to show up? But I DID get an incentive about what I was doing wrong, and you're right.. picturing a relationship before you even know her name is where it stems from..

Thanks!

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"Don't make someone a priority who only considers you an option."

Mind fxcked right there

I use to be good at opening and then something happened, i dont even know what and i hardely ever open anymore :\ Trying to get back into the right mindset for opening again, so thanks !

Good point, and very true.

I try to keep the attitude of "I'm awesome, if you don't like me, fuck you" when I approach. So if I fail, I don't feel bad.

It's just the INITAL approach thats hard, I get AA something bad sometime. Not for fear of rejection I think, but more because I'm afraid of freezing and not knowing what to say.

Now if I'm on my game and don't mess up the approach and still get rejected, that's fine, I did everything right, it just wasnt' meant to be. So that's on her, at least in my head.

But, if I flub the approach and get rejected, then I second guess myself, as I blame myself for that failure.

And also, I think no matter who you are, getting rejected, blown off, or dumped after dating for a while, whether it be a few weeks or months, hurts.

I'm dating a girl now, and it feels like she's planning her exit strategy. It's not a good feeling. Also trying to keep the "I'm awesome" attitude going with this one.

i honestly think the superpower in dealing with a rejection comes from the attitude of "shes missing out more than i am"

The way i see it; i'm a fit guy (6'4", proportional build), i do physics in college, i've gotten good reviews from chicks saying i'm "good in the sack", i usually peacock quite well in a club with my Mohawk and usually i suit up (can't recommend this enough!!!) I usually skip openers and just neg from the beginning, stuff like "so what have you go going for you other than your good looks?"

In my eyes, i'm the prize, i'm the guy EVERY SINGLE GIRL in the club wants and if a girl wants my attention she better be willing to jump through hoops to get it, or if i approach her she better be damn willing to make me keep my attention there. I basicly do what chicks have done to guys every day since they were 14.

I've gotten rejected before, don't get me wrong... I took my first break up very bad, still shakey on the subject no less. I don't have a high f-close count, just under 20 i reckon, but i'm good at kiss and fbook closes (conversion to a f-close is a sticking point if you can call if that for me) But when dealing with a stranger when theres a 0.01% chance of seeing her again and an even lesser chance of me remembering her... I can have literally no shame

So thats where my superpowers come from, my confidence in my avatar and the fact that i'll miss 100% of the shots i DON'T take. I completely agree with Bo_Darnville, don't think your awesome, BE AWESOME! Because lets be fucking honest, you are... You all are!

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Got tips to get me out of the friendzone?
Let me know!
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Silence is a best friend that never betrays