Ok, Im new here and don't really know the various different acronyms for everything so bare with me please!!

Im in my first year at university and was doing ok, better than an AFC I thought anyway.

Things had started to really go my way and just before we broke up for Christmas I ended up kissing and sharing a bed (nothing else really happened) with this girl I really liked.

Then we went away over Christmas kept texting and whenever one of us was drunk would be saying how much we miss each other really need a hug etc.

She came to visit me for new years and we ended up kissing at midnight before some wandering hands but still nothing properly happened.

Then we came back to uni and it was amazing in her words we were 'Seeing each other' on nights out we were like a proper couple slept with each other properly (my first time) and then after a few nights of this it went strange.

We went out to a club and she was fine with me but when we got back she just decided to go back to her room, the next night we were out again I went to get with her and she just turned around with NO.

She didn't really talk to me for a few days then as I was about to go home for work on Friday she sent me a text saying she needed to talk to me... Queue the LJBF talk and her saying how its 'not me its her' and how 'she isn't ready for a relationship'. We left the conversation all jokey and happy me not wanting to spoil any future chances and stay friends.

Then yesterday we were sat chatting and trying to work out the first time we kissed going through photos all fine (me trying to remind her that im still interested and here subtly) we go out and nothing has changed still joking and chatting with each other.

Then all of a sudden she is with some other guy and ends up going home with him...

Some more background info:
- She recently came out of a 3 and a bit year relationship where he ended it badly (about 3 weeks before me and her got together)
- She had only ever slept with him before me
- She isn't the kind of girl to normally have a one night stand
- We were really!! close friends before anything happened and I want to at least maintain this
- She lives across the corridor from me and some of the girls in our flat have suggested this is one of her main worries
- One of the other girls thinks that the reason she broke it of is because she is scared of getting hurt again

My take on it
Obviously I am going to be attached because she is the first person I slept with properly and it means a lot to me, im very close to her as a friend and was as more...

I think possibly she just slept with someone else as a warning / note to me saying we are OVER.

There is part of me that just wants to wait around and part of me that thinks I should move on now before I get too obsessed!

Any help would be great!!!

Hey. =]

As long as you know you're acting really AFC then you're on your way back on track. You've clearly got a case of oneitis and the two best cures for this disease is TIME and SLEEPING WITH OTHER WOMEN.

You did several things wrong: (1) you didn't appear scarce enough. Why would you meet someone more than once or twice (max) a week? She'll be thinking "does this guy have no life?". (2) You took too long to act. You're a man, a sexual being, you should've escalated as much as possible the first time you two were in bed. Don't apologise for enjoying sex.

Personally I would move on, but if you must have her, make her jealous by talking to her girlfriends and making sure she knows that you're enjoying life and seeing other women. Make sure she doesn't know you're intentionally trying to make her jealous though.

Good luck. =]

Ok so when she got back today I went and spoke to her and all I got from her was how it is the worst thing she has ever done, and how I cant ever let her do it again and how he was so bad compared to me...

I also asked her what happened with us and she said if I hadn't been with her so soon after her ex we would of gone out and that was and is her main problem with it.

I still think there is a huge amount of potential for me and her and she knows that but I also made it clear im not going to wait around just for her (which she seems fine with).

So my plan is to stay close with her and see where it goes whilst making sure that I don't limit my options to much!

What do people think???

I think she's just trying to dampen the blow as she cares about you but not anymore than just as a friend. Don't get hungup on her as it's easier to find a new girl than get out of the LJBFs zone.