What a night. I'm very new to this PUA material, after having been an AFC (and still am) for maybe a dozen years. So after having digested all this stuff and what with it being a Friday, I decided to [/i]try some of this stuff!

I get to a dive bar in town. I love these places. I'm not a fan of club scenes at all. This is my ally. I think to myself that I'll try natural game and if I get ballsy I'll do some direct "come back to my place" stuff. So I say "hey" to a few gals. Ask them how they're doing. Nothing gets anywhere. Some really chatty guys come up to me and start conversing me up. I can't shed them, but they net a duo of cute younger gals. These gals look like they just turned 21 and are barely old enough to drink. But they are made up and cute so I engage. I introduce the girls to the guy in the bar whose birthday it was. She says she works for a cafe in town and I ask if they're hiring and how would I go about getting hired there when this campy, very effeminate guy misheard something I said and butts in with some directions to a cafe. So I ignore him and by that time the guys who were with me lost their attention and away they went. I tell the feminine guy he just cock blocked me. He was totally cool about it (see later).

I have to say that I have a totally different opinion of what a HB is. I don't typically go for long, leggy Eastern European types. I like them grungy. Not too punk. And I like them to be a little lesbianish. I found gold tonight!

This nice little number with black hair (lesbian haircut through and through, she shaved one side of her head but left the rest of it long) and military field jacket, some dimples, a gorgeous smile, and the most big beautiful eyes you've ever seen walks past me with her friend. They looked very much alike and at first I honestly thought they were twins. I shout, hey, TWINS! I'll call her an HB7. She laughs. Twin keeps a straight face and guides HB7 to the back patio where folks are out smoking. I go about my business looking for sets to open and not finding anything I feel comfortable opening. I'm there alone because my wing is a lush, got too drunk at home pregaming and flaked on me. So I'm now standing around looking quite awkward. I remember that I need to smile, so I do. As soon as I do I see, about an hour from when I first laid eyes on her, HB 7! She was waiting at the bar to buy another drink.

I say, "Hey, where's your twin? Are you ladies really twins? She was really unhappy with me, wasn't she?" She apologizes for her friends and explains that her friend didn't mean to be mean, yadda and blah, etc. We start chatting, smiling. I'm funny. We've things in common. like 20 minutes later I remind her that she came to get herself a drink! But then she sees her ex roommate or something and starts chatting up his table so I introduce myself to the table and vamoose!

I knew this girls was into me. She gave me kino. She got my name. That's at least 2 IOIs. I'm sure there was a third in there, even. So I play it cool and hang out on my own for a spell. Later my flaky friend arrives and I walk him out to her to introduce. It sucks out there. The smoke cloud was ferocious and everyone is packed tightly around the outdoor heaters. Me and my wing go back inside. She follows. I queue for the loo, man and she skips me and I walk in with her and quickly tried to go in for a kiss! She deserved it! She cut right in front of me as it was my turn. But I wasn't alpha enough and when she resisted my lean in in the bathroom, I bail. What a pussy!

Later we chat. She finds feminine guy and now they're chatting.

Afterwards, my wing and I start talking about bailing from that bar and hitting karaoke night elsewhere. I invite HB7. She's all with it, then flakes (it was a joke, we spoke about flaking earlier in our convo when I was telling her how my wing was flaking). Later I'm at the bar ordering a drink and she's there. I get served first. She says something about how I skipped the line. I get a lil cocky funny. She laughs we go back and forth, etc. We sit down to talk and feminine guy comes in and steals her from me. Snatches her attention. I'm with my wing so I'm playing it cool. I start talking about some other gals I'm going to sarge. She gets wind and her and feminine practically dare me to open another set. I do it. I wound up getting heavy kino with this girl using Style's (OMG, it's you from that movie with the lighthouse... and the boy!). I wasn't into the girl, just trying to DHV.

I sit back down with a sly smirk on my face after having owned their dare. Apparently, feminine guy talked me up to her (paying me back for having cock blocked that earlier set). Now she's a full go. I do the cube routine. She guesses my zodiac sign. There's loads of kino. I try to escalate and get denied. I do a little take away and she leans in. I think I'm home free. No go. I can't crack her. I say to myself "amateur." Still it was fun. She knows I have no intention of joining the LJBF zone.

She misses the last bus home. I have a car. I wanted her to ask, but that never happened so finally I offer to drive her home. I drive her home when the bar closes and she doesn't invite me in, but we stay in the car long enough for her to ask to see my hands. Maybe she's running game on me? I lean in for a kiss. Nope! She said she isn't going to make out with me. No worries. I eventually got a few lip pecks in. I'm an AFC.

Anyway, she has texted me about 4 or 5 times since I dropped her off about an hour ago... we made a date to hit the hot springs next Sunday. TBD.

I think I know how I failed. I was too quick to chicken out. Though there was kino, I also should have gotten way more physical. She gave no resistance to my touch and I was so uncomfortable touching her so freely. Next time. Anyway, more touching! Also, I didn't break her ASD. That's why she didn't make out with me in the bathroom nor the car, wondering what I could've done there. Truthfully, I was trying to make this a SNF but I got blown away.

Thanks for the feedback.

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Where there are bees, there is honey

Omg man. At first I thought you had a total blow out night, then I read what you wrote. You didn't do bad, you did great. This is what pick up is. You're expecting it to be perfect. Pick up is messy man. You didn't break her ASD, so what man. Tell her you respect that and that she is gf material... maybe not though if you are AFC lol. Say it in a teasing way if you do. Seriously man these are what my nights are like. Hell sometimes I get girls pissed at me. lol. You're damn right she is gaming you. Not pua, but doing what women do. Maybe she really likes you and wants you to stick around. She probably isn't looking for a one night stand. Get back your frame and keep control of the situation.

You got her number and are going on a date- sounds like you didn't do too badly to me!

Even better turn out. I left an indelible mark on her heart, apparently. Her friend is bailing on their movie plans for tonight and I was the next in line to fill the slot. I gave her a couple options and she picked a random dive with live punk music. Taking her there tonight. Gotta review my ASD framing lines and grow a pair so I can escalate the P part of ESP.

I've been a little suggestive in my texts to her. She asked me to pass by her place of employment. I said "to flirt with you?" She also said she had some awesome dreams and asked what I dreamed about: her. I've been hitting more than missing, I think.

Anyway, the devil will be in the details tonight. Tonight I'll try a little bit of shock and awe if I get blown out trying to kiss her again (assuming she's not now anticipating it seeing as how I tried like three times last night, and I'm going to be trying to disarm her ASD as it is).

Last night I was thinking F close, but I suppose tonight I'll have to lower my expectations. At this point I'll say F close on the 3rd meet up. I think Mystery may have had something with putting 7 hours as a reference time.

I'll follow up later and let you all know how it went. Look in the LR section if you don't see anything in the next 24 hours.

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Where there are bees, there is honey

So last night I set the frame (or so I thought) by continuing to hint that she was adventurous. We went out to this heavy metal/punk venue (not either of ours thing). I got really close to her, eye contact, slowed my speech down. At one point I went in for the kiss and she denied so I threw a bit of shock and awe at her (blaming her for wanting to kiss her).

We switch venues. At the second venue (yet another dive) I confront her on it. "So you're adventurous in being able to get out of your comfort zone and hit a metal bar with me, but kissing me isn't your adventure?" She gives me this spiel about liking me, that's why she can't kiss me. I especially think that she is gaming me when we leave that bar and get to my car and make out (finally). Seriously though, what is it that made her feel she liked me therefore she couldn't kiss me? If she hadn't liked me, would she have kissed me sooner? I think I'll ask her! Next time, if there is one.

I guess she didn't like kissing me because she hasn't texted me since (and she'd texted me the previous day, yearning for more). Anyway, we finished up the night at her's. She has a LOT of roommates and we sat in the living room and I alpha'd that scene. One of her roommates came up and told us to pipe down (it was about 3am, and she is at work now). That's when I was asked to leave (fair enough).

I'm seriously doubting there'll be an f-close until she f-closes ME.

As far as the physical touching went, I didn't ramp it up as I had planned. I'd planned to have hands on her the whole night, but only got in some hand holding and small-of-the-back rubbing every so often.

Thing is, when she told me she liked me, I kinda got turned off. I really just have a one track mind. I want what I want. I can't believe I put so much energy and effort into this thing to not want it anymore. Scary.

So analyzing my moves, based on my game, I think I need to work on being comfortable touching a woman. I do still need to work on the pace of my speech (slowing it down even further). I could stand to hold my eye contact MUCH longer. And escalating... I need to be more clever on my feet with sexualizing things. Anyone else see anything I should touch up? I know I didn't give very much details, but there's a NFL playoff game about to kick-off and I also need to get up and out of bed.

Thanks!

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Where there are bees, there is honey

Ah, you've got one of those on your hands. I recently had a gal LMR the fuck out of me because "she likes me". She compared cheap, i'm-horny-and-lonely-so-I'll-fuck-this-guy sex as fast food. In that case, she's in full control of her emotions and not vunerable to being hurt if he doen's return her interest. Girls do this A LOT. Is sounds crazy, but it's safe for them to fuck a fella they don't really like.

Then she told me sex with me would wholesome foodbecause she likes me a lot but was hesitant. Translation: she doesn't want to fall for a player and be the one pining for him when he does what he does... Wouldn't we all rather be the one out having fun, than the one at home wishing the other person would call?

The danger in this for you is that when you do built enough comfort to break her LMR, she'll be attached to you and have some expectations, no matter what she says.

Keep your frame. DON"T make false promises or lead her to believe you want more than, or something other than, you do - in terms of an exclusive relationship, that is.

By the way, it sounds like we have similar taste in women. I recently pointed a girl out to my wing and said "she has herion addict hair...I'm in love".

Game on, my man.

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Indulgence not compulsion.

This is a biggie. I don't think I want to do anything more than have a bunch of fun with this gal. Maybe if she were a little slimmer. She's not fat by any means, but just a little chunkier than I'd be happy with. My problem is, since she's apparently in control at this point, if she starts getting serious with me and asking me how I feel about her. Clearly I would know what she'd like to hear. How do I say what I feel without being too rough on her? I'm cool if she's open-ended about it e.g. "so what kind of relationship are you looking for exactly?" Obviously I would tell her I'm only looking to fool around and be friends. But if she's like...do you like me? I say yes. She gets the impression that I "like" her. If I blow that, I also blow sleeping with a really cool gal. Ahh this is my paradox.

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Where there are bees, there is honey

Awesome man.

That's a tricky conversation. From my experience, it's better to miss out on the lay than to tell her what she wants to hear and get it. Of course, I only came to that conclusion after doing the exact opposite time and time again.

Here is a great example of how to frame it...from 8:02 - 9:24
[youtube][/youtube]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y8omK5D18j0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y8omK5D18j0

I use a variation of the same type of speech. The key is to keep is short 'n' simple, then move right along. If she brings it back up, repeat. Don't stall out too long on the relationship talk.

I've said many times,
I'm just not in a place in my life where I want to be anyone's boyfriend. But at the same time, if I feel affectionately about someone, I don't feel guilty about expressing that affection, physically as well as emotionally, as long as they're receptive. If they're not, I respect that...I mean, I'll pout about it...but I'll accept and respect that boundry.

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Indulgence not compulsion.

This might not be the right advice because I don't know the girl but I'll tell you what I normally do in this situation and it's fairly natural to do because it's the truth. Usually works fairly well for me.

Me: "I can't sleep with you"

If she keeps up her game...
Her: "Who said I want to sleep with you?"
Me: "Ok good" then drop it

eventually it will come up again. You might have to repeat the above every time things get steamy or it comes up until she finally bites the bait

Me: "Remember, I said no sex"
Her: "and why not?"

Me:"Because you are looking for more and I am not that type of guy. I like to have fun and I can't do that to you."

You can also read my last FR. It's on a recent day with a girl that would obviously like me to be her boyfriend, and how I handled the situation. In fact, it's the same girl I mentioned above.

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Indulgence not compulsion.