I met this girl who works with my mum, and basically I got her number before I ha actually met her. We'd been texting for about 2 days and then she suggested at 2 in the morning that I go and meet her, so I went and met her and we got along perfectly and had a good laugh. The following day she was going to a club with a few of her girlfriends so invited me down, I went and we had a great time once again and had a kiss once we'd left the club and everything was going amazingly, we kept in touch on bbm all day.

But this is where the problems start. Her ex is a total arsehole and on Xmas day, her friend tricked her into coming round to her house to exchange gifts, and when she turned up the ex was sitting in her friends kitchen, she ran back to her car and he followed and locked her in the car with him. He ended up hitting her to cut a long story short, but since then she's been a bit distant, and we havent text eachother as much since.

We arranged to meet up on 27th and go for dinner, but on the day I hadnt heard anything so I texted her to say are we still going out, and she replied saying that she'll ring me in a bit...but I didn't hear anything, so I text her saying that I was just in the taxi on the way to her (I wasnt) and she replied saying what?! I can't believe you've done that! Im in the countryside I told you I'd call you to let you know if I'd be able to make it! (she didn't). Anyway she said she was sorry and we'd arrange another date.

The following day I was at a wedding and she didn't stop messaging me and asking to me to call her. I read her bbms but didn't reply until I'd got back to my hotel room...and she was telling me that she missed and wanted to see me. The next day I messaged her and she read it and didn't reply, and I didn't hear from her until new years eve, when she rang me and asked me if I was gonna ring her at midnight! Midnight comes and I ring her and we were texting up until 3am, but when I asked if she'd come and meet me she didn't reply. So many mixed messages!

For the last 2 weeks we'd been texting on and off, but we eventually arranged to go out on Thursday. I booked 3 restaurants as I was unsure of what she liked, but when Thursday came, her replies were slow and in the end she flaked but she suggested we go out on Friday instead. We met up and had an amazing date at a restaurant and shared a long kiss afterwards and said she definitely wanted to go out with me again, but didn't commit to a time or date.

Saturday I was at a club with my friends and she was there with her mates. I went over and gave her a hello kiss..but she was mid conversation with her friend so I said I'd speak to her after...but whilst I was standing on the stage, I saw her giving her number to one of the boys she was with. I questioned her about it later in the night, and she said it was one of her old friends and he didn't have his number cos she changed her phone after the ex episode. A little shaky story I know.

But now I don't know what to do. Should I continue to pursue her? Because we've only been on one proper date I can't really claim exclusivity..but the mixed messages are playing with my mind. Im always the one to initiate conversations thru texts..but when it's just me and her we get along so well and shes always giving off positive signals.

What should I do? have you got any advice for me?

Thanks in advance.

She seems way too flakey. She is into her badboyz, and likes to be in control of men with the mixed messages. Shit tests galore. I don't think she is worth it.

I would give her a miss.

Everyone else I've spoken to says I should give her the benefit of the doubt.

She's proper confusing.

The answer is in your own message. She disrespects you when you keep failing her shit tests. You aren't her dog, why do you come running with a wagging tail when she asks you to call at midnight?

Giving out her number doesn't matter. You said it yourself you aren't exclusive, so she's allowed to play the field still. Asking her about it makes you seem jealous, even if you fully believe it didn't come across as jealous. You can't claim exclusivity even if you've had a 100 dates, and are not regularly sleeping with her.

You've seen yourself how responsive she is to asshole game, by reading and ignoring her BBM, she felt the need to chase you.

It's controversial plan, especially if you're a pussy that's afraid of losing her, but I would set up another date, and flake on her last minute. That's certain to drive her crazy thinking about you. If anything, it helps prevent her flaking on you for the next date.

Yep I agree with everything here ^
she's fucking with you and she's got all the power, take it away. Be the man. The problem is your scared that your going to lose the relationship, and that puts her in charge.
I think you should flake on her and pretty much do what she's doing to you.

Dude you're chasing her too much. This is not the behaviour of a man in control and has abundance. There are literally millions more women out there, better looking , better personalities. Go out and meet them, tell this girl you just want to be friends. If anything it might make her jealous if she sees you with other girls.