Had dinner with HB 8. What to do next?



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PostPosted: Fri Jan 20, 2012 10:54 pm 
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I just had dinner with an HB 8. She's a friend I haven't seen for about 6 months and actually it was her who suggested to meet up for dinner. The date went nice - we had a good conversation and I'm sure she's comfortable around me and I can make her laugh. However, I'm not sure if she wanted this to be a "date" or just chatting with a friend. I brought wine, but she only drank like half a glass.
Also, I don't know if she's currently dating someone else. When I walked her home I only gave her a goodbye hug.
How should I follow up? Should I write her a text message right now? What kind of date would you suggest as the next one?
Thanks guys!


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PostPosted: Sat Jan 21, 2012 3:26 am 
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first question: do you give two shits about her "friendship"?

your likely going to have to make a move that's going to seriously risk your friendship while gaining only a small chance of being with her romantically

So i'm asking based on risk assessment before ill be specific


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PostPosted: Sat Jan 21, 2012 10:35 am 
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That's a great point. It's not a deep frienship: over the last year we met every once in a while to catch up on things but I always really enjoyed talking to her. Saying this, I'm willing to risk our friendship to try to make her my girlfriend.

I'm not sure if she really has a romantic interest in me. We have some common interests and we always talk a lot about this, but yesterday we also talked a lot about more personal stuff.

But it was her who suggested to go out for dinner. Doesn't his scream "DATE" or is there any way of seeing this differently? I mean, she could have suggested lunch or coffee which is what we usually did. I'm really confused right now...


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PostPosted: Sat Jan 21, 2012 10:51 am 
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girls don't escalate, wtf do you want?

you want her as a friend?, then keep being the catatonic gay friend

you want her as a girlfriend?, treat her like a girlfriend not like a guyfriend

you want to sleep with her?, try to sleep with her

keep in mind if she doesn't want it, she will stop it, but if you are waiting for her to come out and make something happen, think again, that will never happen, infact it is more likely that she puts things in your way to slow you down and throw you off, girls like to resist they are not the initiators/escalators to the situation, that is the guys usual role in a relationship, you have to think of what you want, and stop thinking about what she wants, she doesn't know what she wants, make her feel like you are the guy for her and you can get her, if you try to logically convince her she should be with you or wait for her to make something happen then you are a nice guy and it is the friend zone for you... don't play it friendly and safe, that gets you a friendly and safe friendship, girls will seldomly ever let something happen if they are responsible for it logically, they can know it is going to happen, but you have to make it happen and it isn't some sort of logical agreement


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PostPosted: Sat Jan 21, 2012 6:11 pm 
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FastLearner unfortunately, from what you wrote here it seems to me your in a common situation that a lot of new guys have misconceptions about. You are confusing admiration and maybe affection with attraction. The reason guys do this is they think of girls as logically reasoning guys. You said "well she invited me to dinner, so she must be interested." Well if she was a guy, absolutely. But woman do not operate like men. From what you have written about the "date" I clearly think she is either not at all interested in anything but a friendship, or may be interested but you are going to have to step up. I'm going to assume the later because the former offers no hope for you.

I will offer the fast and easy solution and the less fast , safer solution.
Quote:
plan 1. Blow me or get blown out
Ask her out again but clearly and definitely imply and explicitly set the fram as a sexual date. Say thing like

"ok lets go out for drinks here, but dress cute/sexy"
"lets see if you can do a better job kissing then that last poor effort"
"so sexy lets get together for a cocktail and what not ;-)"

etc, make your own relevant ones up but do not hang out with her unless its under a sexual/romantic frame; not friendly frame.

Quote:
plan 2 Get on my level or I'm too busy for you
Freeze her out for a bit but then when you do talk to her tell her about all the girls you are seeing and all the crazy fun you are having whuile implying that you want to share these experiences with someone who you can care about. The point of this plan is to raise your social value while depriving her of your friendly company. Only when she has confirmed a sexual/romantic interest should you re-engage her.

These are the best two plans I know of, even still I put your chances at less then 50% because its a flubbed start. As pump says you don't want to screw up the initial framing because this is what results.


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PostPosted: Sat Jan 21, 2012 11:42 pm 
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Thanks a lot detox. You're right: it's probably a lost cause since I safely manoeuvered myself into the friendzone. I'll still try it and I think I'll go for option 2.

This is an old problem for me. I have no problem getting this sort of "date". Girls admire me (they tell me that more or less directly) and follow my invitation for coffee, dinner, movies, etc. but my problem is to get it to a flirtatious level and to start the kino. So I just become a good friend. I think it's a combination of a confidence problem and, honestly, lack of experience. Do you guys have any idea/recipe how to improve this?


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 22, 2012 12:11 am 
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Quote:
Thanks a lot detox. You're right: it's probably a lost cause since I safely manoeuvered myself into the friendzone. I'll still try it and I think I'll go for option 2.

This is an old problem for me. I have no problem getting this sort of "date". Girls admire me (they tell me that more or less directly) and follow my invitation for coffee, dinner, movies, etc. but my problem is to get it to a flirtatious level and to start the kino. So I just become a good friend. I think it's a combination of a confidence problem and, honestly, lack of experience. Do you guys have any idea/recipe how to improve this?
You just have to go for it from the first moment. If she isn't interested, you should know that within ten minutes (and then probably keep trying for another 30, in case you're wrong). The only way to know for sure is to be very obvious about your intentions. Never hide yourself.


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 22, 2012 3:55 am 
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You just have to go for it from the first moment. If she isn't interested, you should know that within ten minutes (and then probably keep trying for another 30, in case you're wrong). The only way to know for sure is to be very obvious about your intentions. Never hide yourself.
this would be the simplest solution and its the way I operate. I just don't have patience to game chicks out of the friend zone, id rather fuck it up earlier then later.

but you are right, you need to get more practice and read more material, and work on your inner game to become a confident sexually expressive male with standards of what you will tolerate

so practice, read, learn - more dates always help and build a routine stak


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 22, 2012 12:52 pm 
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Thanks!

Yeah, I need to find a way to get flirtatious/sexual much earlier. Can you recommend any good material on this? I was thinking about David D's Sexual Communication course.

Also, I usually meet girls at school, parties or at my athletics club. After talking to them for a while I invite them for coffee, dinner, or maybe a sport we both like. How can I get these dates into sexual territory from the very beginning? Should I make a remark on their outfit when I see them?
Do you guys have any good routines for this you might want to share?


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 22, 2012 7:46 pm 
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I have a shitload of great material none of which is the most important to you right now.

David D's Sexual Communication course is not where you should start. Before I went to this I would read his double your dating, and 77 laws of success with woman. After that go to some outer game stuff like Mystery Method or Love Systems Magic Bullets. I also am a fan of the Gunwitch audio material. Of course you have to read "The Game" before any of this.


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