Hey guys,

i have this friend (female) whom im really close with, i really like her (as in i really REALLY like her). my best friend likes her aswell and there are a few others in the picture. im really lost on what to do and when ever something goes in the right direction with her i psych myself out and ruin it.

help!

That's a difficult situation. I don't have a definite answer but I'll give you a start. Most guys on here will tell you to let it go and honestly you should, but that wasn't your question.

I've heard a lot of guys on here say, don't listen to her problems. And I see where they are coming from because it puts those negative thoughts in her head when you are around. On the other hand, if she tends to unload her problems on you don't turn her down. She is a human being after all and has feelings. Just don't expect to try and "win her over" by constantly trying to be that ear for her and digging up her shit just to get her to respond to you.

God forbid don't tell her your problems either!

Don't try to be the opposite of the guys that she dates. That's a big mistake guys make. They think, "if she just sees how different I am than these assholes, then she will realize..." WRONG those guys are an example of what she responds to. Even if she complains about it 24/7.

Game other women. Go on double dates with her even lol.

Don't be Mr. Nice Guy. And NEVER show frustration if things go awry.

Don't guilt her. Or have discussions about your feelings for her. It's better if it just happens.

If you do go the direct method. (I wouldn't recommend this but I know non pua people will be telling you. "Just tell her how you feel and if it's meant to be it will happen" I laugh at this advice.) Pay close attention to what you say and tone of voice. And don't stick around for the lets just be friends speech if possible, let her chew on the idea. Don't call her on the phone for the talk either. It should not be a talk. It should a time when you are both having fun, perhaps she is laughing her head off or any emotionally charged time. Say: "We, get along great. I think we should date." Honestly though, any contrived planning of sorts will not work. This tactic is next to impossible if you don't already have some attraction.

So the preferred method is, it should "just happen". You guys are hanging out one day and bam next thing you know you are bending her over the couch. lol. No talking, just raw sexual tension.

I'd suggest maybe a time apart before you try anything. To wipe the slate clean a bit. And if you "tell her how you feel" be prepared to take it like a man with a smile and freeze her out.

If these tactics seem impossible then you don't have attraction and you are stuck the friend zone.

Another good tactic is to have her friends wanting you. It will change the way she perceives you.

It's not about how you feel, it's about how SHE feels.

Playful teasing wouldn't hurt either.

If someone has any better idea's I'd really like to know. Been in this situation and it can be impossible.