Hello guys. This is my first post in here, so please be kind

I'm 17 years old and I am in senior high school, in 11th grade. And this girl I'm talking about is a half year younger than me and goes to 10th grade.

Sooo my problem is that at a party at our school i were pretty drunk and danced like a maniac. It actually payed off, and this cute girl came over to me wanted to dance. So we danced, and in like 2 minutes we were kissing.

That evening i didn't know what the hell there was going on, i just kissed a girl, without talking to her, or even get her number. But the next morning, i logged into facebook and she added me......

From there we talked and it got us to a date. You guys need to know, that i was NOT interested in this girl. I were just taking her out, to have a good time myself.. We maked out again when we were on our first date. She was crazy about me, and i thought that this girl really liked me. It kinda made me keep me away from her that she wanted me so much. I never wrote a message to her on facebook nor sms, she was always the one writing, and i had a cool swag while talking to her. She really showed alot of interest and I noticed of course.

The last time it went great with her was, at a club. We both met each other at the club, as I came with my friends, and she with hers( her friends are fucking sexy). She kissed me all the time that night, and when i didn't kiss her, she'd be disappointed. I didn't kiss her sometimes, because i wanted to show her, that she had to deserve it. That night, i felt very good about her, and I liked her very much. She liked me very much as well.

I kept thinking about her, and she was in my mind all the time after that night. Then 4 days after, i wrote to her, asking her to go see a movie with me. She said yes, and were very happy about it.

***Then the problem comes. When we went to the cinema, our chemistry wasn't working well, and our conversations got a more boring. I thought that she was bored and i needed to take care of her. I treated her as good as i could.

But i failed to hard, and my hair on my arm raises when i think about it. I kissed her on her cheeks, mouth and we had a very deep kiss after the movies and we were going home. **under the movie, i thought that i needed to do something, so i took her hand and hold it. We holded hands, under the whole movie, and to myself, I thought it was too much to hold hands.

The day after the last date, this girl wrote to me. She wrote; Thanks for last evening, it was really nice. But I think that there is no spark from my side. XOXO xxxxx....

This message really hurted, coz i were beginning to get feeling for this girl. (one-itis???). I wrote back, that it was cool, if that was what she felt. From that day, we haven't talked. And her girl-friend told my friend that she has cut me off, and didn't talk to me anymore.

I don't understand girls. First they are all over you, but if you fuck up, they'll change their mind in a second.

****************So my question to you, is what should i do? Try to forget this girl, and accept that I couldn't get a girl that liked me? Or should i try to talk to her? - I haven't tried to talk to her about it, why she wrote, or why she didn't have feelings for me. I just took it straight to the heart and absorbed the physical pain. - There is a party in the Weekend, and we are both going to that party. Should I try to contact her? Talk with her, or should I ignore her completely??


I really don't wanna lose this girl. And I know, that if I try to take her back, it will only get worse. Please give me advice.



Excuse my bad English, I'm from Germany

//Kreden

The feelings you developed for this girl might be your first taste of what you really want in a relationship. This girl might be over the edge of no return, maybe not depending on you next couple of moves, but just take from this as a learning experience. Maybe try to get a girlfriend, and see if you like it. Live and learn man

I'm seeking after the same question as well.

But when I have company, and I'm together with a hot girl, how am I going to make my ex-girlfriend come and talk to me again because she were obv jelouse?

Yeah man. It's probably the most stupid thing I have done in my life.
I really appreciate your answer, man that's what i needed to hear! Thank you!

But there is still one thing that I'm doubting about. Should i only try to talk to her if she seems jealous? I can easily ignore her for the rest of the night, as some of my friends tells me to do. But i know, as a fact, and i can't help it, that I will keep thinking about this girl the day after if i fuck up, or not even talk with her.
Man.... It really is a pain to know that i fucked up so badly with a such stupid move.

I really don't know. But she was strongly attracted to me, and I think that she knew me much before.. I'm a popular guy in my school, and I talk with everybody, but my inner game with girls sucks very hard. I don't know if i want to get in a relationship with her. But I finally began to like her when we had long conversations at the club. I would really like to have sex with her, but i think that's a hard mission now. - But the thing that I invested too much in her, is that what troubles me.

So my checklist now is:

*Stay calm and cool - Only say Hi if I see her.
*I will not freak out if i see her with another guy ( This is the hardest one, I would normally beat a guy up if i saw him flirting with my girl - Very primitive and stupid)
* Always have company
* I need to have beautiful girl that night that i can "game" so that she see's that i don't give a damn about her.

Did I understand it right?

I'll give my two cents, TonyKing gave some great advice by the way.

First off, be honest with yourself. Do you want this girl because she is just that attractive and you like her or because she basically rejected you / you feel like you lost in your investment? A good way to answer this is asking yourself 'Do I want her more NOW than before the date ?'

You did that? Good. If you want her for the second reason, your heading down a dark path and you best let her go.

Okay assuming that you genuinely like her, I would pretend like nothing happened(the no spark part). Don't waste your time peering across the room to see whose she's with and don't make it your mission to go out of your way to make her jealous. Im not saying don't talk with many different girls, but don't look out the side of your eye to see if she's watching you and position yourself closer to her . Show her how uneffected you are. Not talking to her, avoiding her, or making frowny faces when you make eye contact will do nothing.

The key is to not care.
Inner game tip- "She's talking to another guy?" It doesn't matter to you. "She's kissing another guy?" It doesn't matter to you. Accept these as possible realities in your head, image these situations, feel the emotions you would, this will help you control yourself if it really happens.

Talk to her. Cut through the awkwardness, don't bring up anything from the date, or her message. Be friendly and cool, without a hint of desperation. End the convo, and start partying up with rest of the people. Have fun with other girls, and if she happens to notice you, you don't look like a try hard. Talk to her a couple more times. Ask how much more interested does she seem in you ? The point is to get her to think " this guy was sooo into me, how could he get over me so fast, why doesn't he care about me, and why isn't he begging for me ?"

And if she doesn't show interest in you at all? Screw her and move on. Your too damn good for her anyway. No need to try over and over, you'll just leave a worst taste(no pun intended) in her mouth.

_________________
"The bird sets itself on fire… and in the embers is an egg. In order to do great things, you've got to recreate yourself again ,and you can’t do that holding to a glory or a failure from yesterday. "

Are you Kidding me !! You did excellent, both at the party, during and after the movie and most importantly when she wrote that letter ! You showed the Maturity and Game that most 25yr olds wouldnt have. So Kudos to you my friend - you are a Natural at this !

So, at the next party when you see her just go right up looking happy and FUN and give her a good hug. Tell her something like " I'm glad you are here" AND THEN JUST MOVE AWAY and start talking to other people. Just be busy with partying with other people. Dance with other girls have fun, be the life of the party. Whenevr she comes around you or you guys cross paths at the party just have a wide ass big smile and carry on with whatever you are doing - If she wants to talk to you just tell her that you are having fun and now is not the time to talk.

See what she does or says, my guess is, she might try to contact you the day after the party - let us know how things go. But play it happy and fun.

Thanks guys! I really appreciate your answers!!!!!! And i really appreciate your nice words Marc!
No. I haven't tried to contact her, and she hasn't contacted me neither. It's been like 10 days that we haven't talked. Today at the school i were standing with some other guys from my class in front of the entrance to school, I think that she saw me from a long distance when she was going to enter school, and then took another entrance because i was there. She was also with her really close girlfriend. --- I don't know what the heck it was about, because we doesn't have anything to do with each other... And me myself, I have passed her many times in school, like I didn't know her. So, I don't know if it's a bad or good sign..


As I understand now, I should act, like the incident never happened, and that we 'never' had a thing going on? And of course, enjoy the party, by socializing with other partypeople?!

I think it's gonna be difficult, to talk to her as nothing happened.... Would it be a good idea to talk with her friends, not about her, just having fun?

I know that she has told her friends EVERYTHING she knows about me. The first time i met her friends, they came and introduced themselves to me without her, telling me that they knew everything about me, and wanted me to score this girl, because she was really cute. And i know that the fact, that she cutted me off, isn't a good thing for me... It might have ruined my reputation for them.

Check. I will try to do that, and i will not hug her unless she wants one. Btw, if i got the opportunity, should i then kiss another girl, just to show her, that i can easily get over her, and that she lost the prize??

I will use all your advice in the field soon, and i will report back - I just feel a little bad about it.. What if I fuck up???

EDIT:: Is there anyway i could bring the "sex"-topic into our conversations? Just to show her, that i really want to do it with her..If it's any good idea?

You'll be fine. Warning: Don't get too emotional attached and invested to this girl, you'll catch a bad case of one-itis, but for the looks of it you already have it. Be careful

_________________
"The bird sets itself on fire… and in the embers is an egg. In order to do great things, you've got to recreate yourself again ,and you can’t do that holding to a glory or a failure from yesterday. "

@ Tonyking - You are over analyzing the situation !! There was nothing wrong with holding hands at the movie, if she would have been uncomfortable there are million ways she cud have turned that down. incl. just pulling her hand back.

Nontheless...
^ Really! Are you kidding me

I myself, thought that it were too much to hold hands. I mean, there was no reason to do it, and it turned out that it were the greatest fail of that evening..

Sooo. The party. This is not a little cozy party. There will be like 700 people, and it's called the biggest party of the year. My plan was to talk with her friends and having fun with them so that they would have in mind, that I am a cool person, and not the one that she didn't wanted.

I know, that you'll say that there will be plenty of girls that night, and I understand that. My goal in this party is not to make it good with my girl, but to have fun and flirt with so many girls as possible. But under that process of 'having fun' i should attract her, and then try to comfort her, and then get into 'sex'-topics.

Btw, what if any of her friends comes over to me and asks me how it is between me and this girl? If I talked with any of her friends, and suddenly they bring the girl i liked up as a topic? How should i react.. Like i don't care, and thats old news, or like i don't know what happened and it's i'm cool with her.

God, everytime I get an answer, I get two more questions.. But I feel more secure and better prepared. Thanks man.

Read your initial post and a few of the responses and I thought I'd add a bit of my advice (it may have already been brought up.)

First of all, I want to say I'm impressed with with your writing on the forum. You're one of the few 17 year olds that can clearly and maturely express a coherent thought on the internet in actual english. Kudos. (You must be European )

Now, it seems like even though you told us that you would only kiss her to reward her for good behavior, you seemed to just give yourself up to her whenever she wanted you too (i.e. always showing affection, kissing, touching, etc.) That is not interesting for girls. They want to work for their reward, and YOU are the reward. Kind of like when someone wins the lottery, and they blow all their money in a month because they didn't earn it and there for didn't care for it thus eventually bringing them back to square one or even worse when it all runs out (Happens all the time.) She probably got bored of always getting what she wants out of you and realized you weren't the spontaneous thrill ride you seemed to be when you were at that first party.

The way to reverse it is with good old fashioned gaming. Next time you guys are in a social environment together, pay less attention to her and focus on being the life of the party. Game a few other girls there. Who knows, you might even win over someone better. At the very least she'll notice that you're getting a lot of attention and it will start to get her jealous.

Hope that helps!

- Stylite

700 people? From the sound of that it doesn't even seem like you will be near each other, whatever. You got the right thinking going on. Tell us how it goes! We didn't waste three days for nothing.
Good luck my friend

_________________
"The bird sets itself on fire… and in the embers is an egg. In order to do great things, you've got to recreate yourself again ,and you can’t do that holding to a glory or a failure from yesterday. "

We could have your right arm now ! Tonyking you are making those assumptions simply by thinking what she liked in a drunken state of the night is the same that she was expecting the night of the movie. This is the same reason why most PUAs can't get beyond 2 dates (Button pushes and player vibes) - where is the connection? The way you behave at a party with loud music and alcohol is not the bleady same way one would behave at a movie, dinner, park, mall or during the day - You change your demenor based on the environment.

Ever sat through a movie holding a girl's waist? Ever sat through a movie holding her hand? Let me guess - NO. Well I have and thats how I know that alone doesnt create a replusion.

Ever just met a girl and held her hand or put your arm around her like she was your girldfriend for months? Try that, and you'll see that she responds back to you like she is your girlfriend - Thats the reason why some guys spend 10 dates and still cant have the girl as their girlfriend v/s some guys who would make girlfriends within hours or even 1st date.

Get a girl into a relationship mode (doesnt matter whether she wants it or not) but you give her the feeling that she is just more than a slut you'd bang will get you to bang her faster.

Anyways, to the OP, you are 17yrs old - do what you are comfortable with. But, dont beat yourself over nothing. Also there is a difference between a long ended approach v/s a direct approach.