Hey, first post.

Basically im in an interesting situation that has a likelihood of repeating itself so i thought i'd take the time to try and figure it out.

Seeing this girl SPAM. We have been friends for a long time but she was in a relationship and i was sleeping around (none of her direct friends or anyone she talks to). Basically ive always told her that i do not want to get into a relationship the whole way through us knowing each other. We have NOT had sex. She lives far away and comes to stay every 2 weeks for about 3-4 days. When she stays she sleeps in the same bed and we just make out and tease all night. Admittedly i would have sex with her (i don't show this in any way, but i'm sure her she thinks she is in control of this as most women usually do). Basically my game plan was to keep playing my game (not needy, show i have other women, fun, DHV's, teasing, chuck in a bit of emotion, comfort, kino escalation) and eventually she will crack. Anyway 3 days ago she stayed she cracked and wanted to have sex but i said NO. I thought this would be the best thing to do (any thoughts?).

Today she said that she can't stay with me anymore cos she will get close to me and doesn't think its wise. She then went on to say that she doesnt like getting with people who are getting with other people (because we were friends before she knows this). Additional info: Is religious, fell for someone and was hurt before me, lives 5 hours away

I thought this was sort of knee jerk and emotional bluff so said that she was right but still communicated i liked her and had feelings for her.

Now has anyone had experience of these types of situations? My interpretation has 3 options.

1. She wants a relationship.
2. She wants me to at least stop seeing other girls.
3. She wants to just be friends.

I can't just committ when she wants me to can I, thats too easy? So does anyone know anyway to smooth this over so i can keep the game plan rolling? Is that wrong? Its not like im never gonna get in a relationship i just dont know yet and want freedom.

Lol anyway any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks

The first thing you need to do is have sex with her. Saying no the first time was an interesting choice. Now take advantage of the chance it gives you here. Seduce her, tease her, then take it up a notch and seal the deal. This will add new excitement and interest to your relationship.

As long as you are never needy, you can maintain this situation, with the added benefit of sex.

If she directly confronts you to commit, my go-to line is "You forcing me to commit is like me forcing you to have sex if you were a virgin or didn't want to."
(Being openly non-exclusive makes this a little more difficult. Investigate other options for avoiding full commitment.)

So essentially

1. Downplay the things she said (agknowledge her emotions but do not promise anything)
2. Keep playing the game (especially non-needy)
3. Have sex with her at next oppurtunity (i think this should be easier cos this whole thing has flared up alot more emotion, this is also why talking about it could be good cos i can create a whole range of emotions inside her i.e possibility of losing me, i like her blah blah could have alot of drama basically


The only sticking point is when she asks if im seeing anyone cos she will. And its hard to get out of cos if i say no it means i have done what she wants and im lying, but if i say yes its like a straight no no in her head. But to be honest last time that happend she went sour for a couple of days but came back with stronger feelings so maybe its not that bad. Who knows?

Seeing her tomorrow so will see how it goes. Thanks.

...You are an idiot.

Your goal was to have sex with her, so you thought the best way to do this was not to have sex with her? This is what happens when you read pickup material too much, you end up tricking yourself out of pussy. Fact is this is oneitis...all the things you do are meant to get her. Even the other girls are just a way to get to her. How about you actually go meet other women with the realization that they could be better for you than her?

I thought i'd try something out and see how it went and learn from the experience. Its not a big deal if i don't get her. I personally don't view my goal as just to have sex with her. My goal is to have regular uninhibited passionate sex with her whilst maintaining other relationships. I don't just use other girls to have sex with her (although they have been used) they are a part of my life. I agree with you on the last point that maybe i should just forget her and move on, but SPAM she is not inhibiting me too much and this is a unique situation i can learn from. What is oneitis?