If you're looking for a girlfriend, consider this:

How this girl interacted with you is 100% not the first time she did this with a guy . . . and you won't be her last. She has a need to experience/re-experience separations and she has a need to be the one in control. However, when she finds herself in the driver's seat, she feels guilty and gets turned off. This is where you are now. These types make awful partners as they'll pull every/any excuse out of the sky to continue feeding her little brain the chemicals it has now come to depend on.

If you're looking to fuck and chuck:

Wait till' around 3 or 4 hours before you're supposed to meet and then cancel it. Any excuse is fine but the more frivolous the excuse, the better. Make sure you give her a genuine apology and tell her that you promise you'll make it up to her. Bye bye. . .

Then go out with your buddies and have a good ol' time or better yet, go pick up some ladies. Let this shift of roles brew a bit. Then you contact her but you don't mention going out. Be very interested in what's going on with her. Be very nice to her. But cut the conversation/interaction short before she blah, blah, blah's to her heart's content. "Hey, sorry to cut you off but I have to finish _____. Great chatting with you." Let this brew. . . If she brings up "Going out", fine. If not, you can bring up some event that might strike her interest. After the 'event', get back to your place early. Tell her your tired and you want to sleep early. Walk her to your front door. Give her a peck on the cheek and show her the door. She will stick her tongue down your throat.

Then you never call her again because you know she's a neurotic goofball. Then you come back here, write up a lay report and end it with, "I left her better than I found her . . . " - Then we all clap in approval.

Very good point!

Well that's the truth.

its tough to place her in terms of how she behaves. But here is my take:
She likes you but fears that she would look like a slut. Not enough attraction built.

She like you and probably when you turn her down she feels the need to win the challenge.
Blah blah blah.. ASD
Who does that ?
She likes you and is clearly attracted.
Blah Blah Blah... I'm sure she would be down for a ONS if a Guy pulls a tight Game.

I call BS on this

She likes you but kindda messed up in the head !

I dont need to break down any further.

She would probably sleep with you if you could simply get her out, seduce and take care of the logistics. She would chase you if you tell her you find her cute but don't make yourself too available.

But man, you'd have more problems sleeping with this one then you'd have if you just drop her like a bad habit. These types end up being clingy and suck your time. Speaking from experience.

If you till want her to chase you, then you have to give her enough bait to hook onto and then be unavailable. My friend has married one such nut cases and he seems to be happy but she gets on everyone's nerves.

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This is great stuff man! Thanks for this!

What do you mean by "She would probably sleep with you if you could simply get her out, seduce and take care of the logistics"

I meant the logistics bit. Also do i need to get her drunk?

So what happened on friday? Did you see her?

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rAFC and yes, I'm a chick.

I have bursts of being a lady, but it doesn't last long.

Also do i need to get her drunk? - NO Don't EVER EVEN think about getting a girl drunk to sleep with you. Infact if you meet a girl who is kindda high or a little drunk just be a gentleman to walk away, and if she is a date just take her back to her place and drop her off, No kissing even.

Logistics - there are a lot of things that could go wrong because of which even if girl is hot she wudn't sleep with you. So make sure you start the date at your place or hers - that way at the end of the date you have a chance inviting/being invited to the house. Think about it - if both of you meet outside somewhere then at the end of the date you both drive off in your cars!!

1) Is your bed made - women wouldnt want to sleep on an unhygienic bed
2) If you or she has roommates, are they away?
3) Do you have condoms - you dont want to stop at a drug store while she waits in the car

4) Does your house look proper - women wud get to know how clean you are from the way you keep your room and bathroom.

5) What about the lightings - as they enter your house if you have very Dim lights it might scare them , for that matter anyone - people dont feel safe walking into an unknown location whch is dimly lit

6) If you are driving her - is your passenger seat and the back seats clean or are they cluttered with piles of paper?

7) Are you taking her to a party where you'd have other friends - thats a big NO NO because the chances are your or her friends might occupy most of the time or get her drinking

Since its winter in America, you want to make sure that you take her to a place which is indoors and U LET HER KNOW ABOUT IT. that way she could wear something showing skin inside of her jacket that would help the Kino.

9) Dont sit face to face at a restaurant infact take the adjacent seats that way you could touch her arm effortlessly.

10) Make sure you dont end the date very late, that way it would be too late for sex.

11) Ask her ahead of time what is she doing the next day - if she has an early morning that shud tell you taht you start the date early and end it early so that there is time for sex. Or just have it when she has next day off.

Anyways.... I think you are getting my point.

Hey- yes I did. I'll tell you exactly what happened. I tried my best to apply as much of your tips as I could and it did it work. Unfortunately, I don't think I was able to pull it off......

So she came over to my place to drink. And we are going to meet some of my friends later at a club. Also that night my flat mate was out of town so I had the flat to myself. It was rare. And she was spending the night crashing in the spare room.

So first of all we hadn't seen each other for a few weeks. I now look much better then I did a few weeks ago. Got a really cool hair cut and been going to the gym like crazy. Became pretty ripped. She was impressed with my new look! And said I look great.

So we were drinking and listening to music. The more she drank the more close she got to me. We started dancing together and flirting.

I then started to build up the sexual tension and did KINO. I also grabbed her ass every now and then said things like "Wow u got a fat ass!". For the first time I was being sexual with her. It didn't feel awkward. And she was getting really close to me (physically).

Now there were a few moments when I could have kissed her but I just didn't go for it. Stupid me....

Anyway, the more she drank the more flirty and sexual we became. And we were having a blast.

Then a few hours later we decided to meet my friends at the club. I wish we had stayed in the flat but we went.

As we were heading there we held hands.

When we got to the club we both sobered down.

Now in the club we didn't drink and were sober. But she was dancing with me the whole time.

Then while she was dancing with me, a really hot girl (much hotter than her) grabbed me and started dancing with me. This happened a second time with another girl.

Then a bit later as I was going to the bar a girl followed me and whispered into my ear "You are a really good looking guy. Are you with that girl?" And I said she wishes and smiled. That girl kept on flirting with me at the club in front of the girl I liked.

Now no guys was hitting on my girl but I was hit on quite a bit as you can see.

She asked me what the girl told me when she whispered into my ear and I told her and she smiled.

The club closed and then we decided to head back to mine. As we were walking home we were holding hands. Now she was hungry and asked to pick up some food.

So we got take away and went home. By the time we got home and ate the food the BUZZ was completely gone. She also didn't want to drink anymore. Let's say the mood was gone, it was very different from before.

However, the genius I am (sarcasm!) I decided to try and kiss her before she went to bed. As expected, she rejected my advance in that state. She said "I thought we agreed to be friends." I told her that is what she wants but not what I want. She then told me she doesn't want to ruin our friendship. She values me too much as a friend. I told her that doesn't work.

She then said this time round she found me very attractive. I told her about the girls hitting on me in the club and she said she knows. But she said at her age (32) she doesn't want to just get physical first. Whoever she is going to sleep with next will be in a serious relationship. She said had she met me five years ago she def would have fucked me that night without even thinking about it.

But she doesn't want to get physical and complicate things. While we are talking we are holding hands.

She said again she loves spending time with me and will be sad to see me leave her life.

I told her I'll have to think about it. As she is getting what she wants out of the relationship and I'm not. I also got other options.

She said we might very well end up together in the future but she needs time as we got a connection but for now just friends is all she can offer.

But you know what- this time I actually saw her thinking about it. And I even offered to take things slowly and she seemed to think about it. At least that is the impression I got.

She did say something interesting- she said in the future I promise her that if we every get very drunk that I don't have sex with her even if she wants to. She doesnt want anything that happens with us to start from a drunken shag.

Of course I was disappointed. I just told her to start thinking about it and she agreed.

But we had a blast together that night, there is no question about until that hiccup

So we went to bed (in separate rooms of course). In the morning we were cool. We then grabbed lunch together.

Now I don't know why I can't get this girl out of my head. She is not even that hot.

After lunch I tell her I have to go. A few hours later I can't get her out of my head and send her a long text message telling her how I feel. She responds by saying she appreciates it but can't change the way she feels at the moment. But she wants to meet up next week to go to the movies.

Later that night I went out with my friends and pulled a VERY HOT girl! I mean this girl was stunning an HB8. We made out at the bar, we then swapped numbers. On the way home she texted me and said she really enjoyed meeting me and wants to meet me for a drink next week.

I also got a lot of compliments that night on my new look and physique (I've been hitting the gym a lot and got ripped in the last few weeks). In fact, I'm told I look like a famous actor. A few girls told me that that night.

I haven't been in touch with the girl I like since (a day a passed to be fair, so that not long).

I don't know what is wrong with me. I have no problem meeting other girls and hooking up with other girls, even HOTTER girls. In fact, they come to me. But for some reason I can't get over this girl who is not even that hot. But I just like her a lot and can't help and when I'm around her my game is not as solid as when I'm around these other chics where my game is really tight (as I probably don't give a shit).

Now my friends told me the biggest mistake I did was take her to the club. They were like you should have stayed in and gotten her more drunk and you would have def had sex with her.

That may be true bu that is not what I want out of this. So big deal I was able to sleep with a girl by getting her VERY DRUNK and being alone with her. That is not what I'm about. I'm sure if we did that I would also never see her again. And I don't think that is game that is called getting very drunk!

Now I have to say your tip helped me a lot. For the first time sexual tension got built up and yes the seed is getting planted.

Now I am in a dilema- my flat mate is now back. I don't think I will have the apartment to myself again for a long while and have the same opportunity where it is just me and her and getting drunk.

Actually wait- I just remembered my flat mate is going to be out of town for a whole week at the end of the month.

So what do you think? What can I/should I do next?

Your advice is very helpful and much appreciated.

Thanks....

Ok, so some progress but practically back to where you were.
1. Reread Kasabi's post, he's on to something here.
2. Act like her friend, game other chicks in front of her, you're friends.
3. Still tease her and touch her sexually, but don't go on confessing your feelings, tell her she's a good friend.
4. Reread Kasabi's post.
5. Read the relationship roulette by 60.

And finally, accept the current state of things, game other women, don't get hung up on this girl. The only reason you want her is because you can't have her. She sounds like high maintenance, you sure you want this? The moment you stop caring so much, you'll be able to display your A game with her.

_________________
rAFC and yes, I'm a chick.

I have bursts of being a lady, but it doesn't last long.

txacoli,

Are you coaching the OP towards a successful fuck and chuck?

Not really, fuck yes, but not necessarily chuck. Maybe fwb or something like that.

_________________
rAFC and yes, I'm a chick.

I have bursts of being a lady, but it doesn't last long.

On the one hand, I am a fan of the open mind. . . "anything can happen" - as they say.

Unfortunately, by the virtues of the characters involved and dynamics of their interaction history, a fuck will lead to a chuck. There is no escaping this. The only variables are 'who will chuck whom" and what will he/she pull out of his/her ass to justify it Well, even that's quite predictable:

She: "This was a mistake and I don't want to ruin our friendship" - Then she'll call back once a month for 2 months and then call it quits until she finds another guy to repeat the process. Fun! Fun! Fun!

He: "I had to let her go because she wasn't happy . . .but . . . I left her better than ________" - Good man.

I wonder how many of ^these the typical guy has to roll before the redundancy becomes boring? Nodding your fake nods over her fake cries and fake chats over pain, friendships, loyalties, past histories . . .

Wouldn't it be more exciting to watch a day time soap opera?

Thanks Kasabi and txacoli- you two have been giving me some fantastic advice!

I am going to follow these pointers.

I don't want her as a gf just want to be able to fuck her.

To summarize what u guys are saying- basically take a step back, chill, go out and game other girls. So her value lessens to me and I can game her better.

Also cancel on her and make her feel less important to me.

When do u think I should contact her again?

Thanks guys. I'll keep you in the loop.

A good post goes to waste. He still decides to chase a poisoned apple.

Good luck mcooper.