The prevailing PUA wisdom seems to be that in order to get a girl to let you kiss/fuck her, you need to break her bitch shield and try to destroy her self-esteem, so that you look good in comparison. One method of achieving this is negging. Compliments are generally regarded as useless, in fact often counter-productive, since they make it seem like you're impressed, and God forbid a girl ever sleep with a guy who's actually impressed by her!

But what do you guys make of the idea from 'How To Win Friends & Influence People' that people like to be complimented, and then associate that good feeling with the person who gave them the compliment? Is it possible that a compliment could create some good feelings in the girl, which might make her think favourably of the guy? After all, I warm to people if they compliment me. Or are girls hard-wired to avoid like the plague any guy who's nice to them, and to reward with sex any guy who's alpha enough to practically bully her with teasing & negs?

Is complimenting a girl akin to kissing goodbye to any chance of sex, or are there times when a compliment is actually useful? (i.e. increases the chance she will fuck you by building extra attraction/comfort/rapport/whatever other bullshit hot girls arbitrarily require just to open their damn legs and deliver the hot sex they were designed to provide).

Yo mate.

Ok, listen, the thing about destroying her self esteem... wtf! Why would you do that? Disarming bitch shields, i can understand, destroying her self esteem implicitely means insult her on a personal level. Dont do that. I think it only works on girls who dont have any self esteem to begin with, and i dont like girls like that.

The general rule in seduction is push and pull. You pull with playfull negs, physical distance, whatever that is playful, even cocky shit etc. You pull with compliments, touching etc.

I used compliments when i thought they were fitting. For example, if a girl approached me instead of me approaching her in order to get to know each other, i like that! So i would tell her. I think a girl who goes for what she wants is sexy, so i would tell her. But i dont give empty compliments like: you have such beautiful eyes, i like your boots, that skirt is cute... i mean, that is not really complimenting her.

Its like Juggler says in one of his books: compliment her on things that come truly from her, a genuine reaction from which you think it is cute or sexy. It shows interest, its a pull.

This idea of not giving compliments, destroying her self esteem, comes from the stupid mindset that you need to be a heartless shithole in order to get girls. A no good low life bad boy. Yeah, it might work, and you might just fuck very beautifull women, but most of them have no self esteem, are superficial and fuck like corpses or real dolls. I ll pass on those, as i have tasted better assets in PUA then that.

cheers

_________________
"Stop being a fucking vagina and escalate" - CaptainJackHarkness

Like the naked leads the blind.
I know I'm selfish, I'm unkind.
Sucker love I always find,
Someone to bruise and leave behind.
placebo - every me, every you

Not sure why pick up should make people feel bad about themselves.


Pickup should be about making women horny not make them feel shit.

Be yourself, if your a doucebag, be one, if your nice, be a nice guy.

But you gotta have women chase you, (mystery cat string theory). So if you wanna give compliment, do it but she has to work it.

Important thing is, keep that chase cycle going. Only give deserved complimenet. Nothing worse then empty compliment. Imagine being at work, doing and rage job and your boss gives you a compliment. It would be awkward. But if you doing a great job, and you get compliment, is well deserved.