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My fear would be that a couple of jealous AFCs in the group would tell the girl that I liked her and then try to destroy my reputation because of resentment.
Women like being wanted and they are very insightful, so if you do like her, she can already tell and is just waiting for you to act on it. Even if she doesn't like you back, worse case scenario, she is flattered. I don't understand how it would be such a big thing, for her to know you like her.
I can understand wanting to tell her that personally, rather than have her hear it second hand from the group. That makes sense to me, but if that was important to you, than you would have already let her know that, instead of waiting for your mutual friends to pick up on your feelings for her. If your friends can see it, then she definitely can too. So just do something about it already, she's right there and waiting.
That being said, your mutual friend isn't trying to "ruin" you. He obviously has feelings for her too, sees that you two are getting along, and wants to know if you are going to pursue it further or not, because (even though he may not have the confidence to ever actually go through with it) he is considering pursuing her as well.