Being a player has really bit me in the ass the past few months. I recently learned that several of the circles of girls I'm involved with regard me as a player and gossip about the size of my *cough*, well my endowment. Damn 12 months ago I'd be like fuck yeah I want girls thinking of me that way, but that reputation preceding me and the ramifications of achieving that reputation are taking a serious toll on my self perception or rather, the reality of who I am. Years back I got my heart broken in a LTR I responded by studying PUA, refining my style, hitting the gym, and adjusting my mindset in a manner congruent with a licentious and promiscuous lifestyle. I was successful, I reached new heights a few weeks ago when I F-closed a hb-10 professional dancer that has been featured in several very popular music videos. This gal and I really hit it off, had great chemistry and we were casually dating, with no exclusiveness discussed. I wanted this girl to be my GF but I was unable to turn off the College styled PUA tactics I've utilized to get laid. As we dated, the cocky/funny approach betrayed my insecurities as I continually DHV'd bragging about my GPA, law school, and also explicitly acknowledging she was turned on by my muscular physique. When at a point of casual dating, I now know, this type if DHVing is ill timed, rather I should let her just find out how confident/attractive I am, instead of talking myself up. Nonetheless things continued to work out. When winter break came (i'm in college) we were separated for two weeks and it was during this period her interest level dropped. Through the grape vine I learned she was acquaintances with a circle of girls who about a year ago I played hardcore. Slept with one girl and then her friend and room mate, caused a bunch of drama and I peaced out. Then on Facebook several previous girls I had f-closed posted on my wall asking about when would be back etc. It was after this that all most all communication stopped with the girl I had been dating. I ran into her at the bars after break, the girl blew me off and I was drunk and salty, so I fucked her best friend.

What I wanted was a strong solid LTR with a girl I really had a connection with. But my perception of women as objects and the perpetual womanizing I had practiced my first years of college came back and bit me in the ass. I was unable to shift from the faux persona I created to pick up girls at bars and in parties, and be the sweet, chivalrous, and loving person I am at heart. I acted like a cocky punk with this girl then she learned about my reputation and she peaced out, and I acted like player and unethically and immorally slept with her good friend and room mate perpetuating my reputation as a douche bag womanizer, a reputation which is becoming increasingly known among girls I barely know.

This is the dark side of pick up. When you lose your true self to the faux persona you created to achieve sexual dominance and it stymies your longing for love. After being involved in pick up from several years now, all I can say is that after all the one night hookup and fuck buddies, I am alas a lonely and sad man.

Does anyone know how I can reverse course, and re-connect with my genuine self and become a man of character who respects and treats women as they deserve? Because I am very lost.

_________________
"For each and every one of us living in this world, means waiting for our end. Let he who can, win glory before death. For this will be your best and only bulwark. Bear up! And be the man I expect you to be.

The dark side of PUA comes from not changing within.

The situation of the "Nice Guy" and the "Asshole."
The asshole doesn't let women, or anyone, walk all over him because he demands respect. He demands respect because he gives it.

The nice guy is dishonest about his intentions, and puts women on a pedestal.

The phase from one to the other lets this dark side out. Fucking many women does not enhance your status as a man. It's not about the number of women that you have slept with, but the amount of women that want to sleep with you that is more important. Exclusivity heightens demand.

You don't have to sleep with every woman you CAN sleep with. Being selective makes women want you more.

_________________
Attraction is a choice.
ITS YOUR CHOICE!
Spread Love
-Ders


www.facebook.com/spreadloveders

Good point, thanks for pointing that out. I really should have been less promiscuous your right, a high value guy doesn't go out and stick his dick and anything that will take it.

_________________
"For each and every one of us living in this world, means waiting for our end. Let he who can, win glory before death. For this will be your best and only bulwark. Bear up! And be the man I expect you to be.

I've seen this a lot in the pickup community. It's due to guys focusing too much on picking up girls and not enough on keeping them. Relationship game is harder than pick-up because it involves lasting change and getting over a lot of societal brainwashing. However, it's totally worth it.

Take me for example. I am dating 2 girls right now who both know about each other, are okay with me dating multiple girls, and are both crazy about me. Furthermore, the one I've been dating the longest has a girlfriend who we have threesomes with. She even keeps a blog about our poly-relationships (she's pretty awesome).

Link: http://polygoodgirl.livejournal.com/

I couldn't be happier... and I owe it all to the pick-up community.

-Wolf

Interesting post.

F'ed her and then her best friend.

You are a real PUA, if this is true. The fact is, its good she blew you off, because you already F'ed her.

Then you went for her Best Friend... while she thought she was too good to talk to you....and F'ed her

That's advanced game buddy.

If you are into the lovey duvvy, then go become a wuss...and revert to your old GF who screwed you over.

Or embrace the fact that you are bonning the finest b!tches who step to you