Hey guys. I have been seeing this girl for a few weeks now. I met her at a friends house and we exchanged numbers and we have been texting each other for a few weeks. I tried to play it a bit coy and I told her that I wasn't sure if I wanted to be friends with her or if I wanted something more. During this time she was sending me texts to see what I was doing and basically always checking in on me. I could tell that she was really into me.

We hung out last week at my place and I thought it went really well. Well the past few days she has not initiating texting me, which is really weird for her not to do, and has just seemed very distant.

After noticing this trend I finally decided to just put my cards on the table and just be as straight up as I could possibly be with her. Tonight I told her through text that I was sick of playing games with her and that I would be down to become more than friends and that if she didn't want that I would have no problem with moving on. I told her that I want to be with her and I would be willing to give up other girls in my life to be in a relationship with her.

I was getting to the point where I either want this girl to decide to be with me or to leave my life completely. I feel like her and I are stuck in this grey area of friends and a couple and I want her to pick a side so I can get on with my life. I really want a relationship with this girl and I just decided to have a moment of complete honesty. Was this a huge mistake? e

NO NO NO... never do this! it just screams AFC.

Im in a hurry to go now to work, but ill EDIT later why not to. or maybe someone else will before me.

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I'ma be what I set out to be, without a doubt undoubtedly, and all those who look down on me I'm tearin down your balcony, no if ands or buts, don't try to ask him why or how can he

Hey,

I think "laying your cards out" is probably the worst act you could commit in this situation. Correct me if I'm wrong on this, anyone, but I think you have two options with the latter being more preferable.

(1) Act as if nothing has happened and continue being aloof (but friendly) to the possibility of a relationship with this girl no matter how difficult this may be. It'll be useful in the long run.

(2) I remember reading something from mystery stating that sometimes to obtain a girl, you must be willing to risk losing her. Your second option is to stop initiating texts/contact and only respond to her attempts at contacting you. Use push/pull, remembering to reward and punish correspondingly.

Whatever you do, just don't admit you've been playing games because it sounds terrible! Good luck. =]

I was getting to the point where I either want this girl to decide to be with me or to leave my life completely. I feel like her and I are stuck in this grey area of friends and a couple and I want her to pick a side so I can get on with my life. I really want a relationship with this girl and I just decided to have a moment of complete honesty. Was this a huge mistake? e[/quote]

It looks like to me that you want to give this girl an ultimatinum never do that. You will seem territorial and you will lose this girl. Nobody wants to feel that they have to make a choice. It's good to be assertive and honest but you don't want to reveal everything about you that makes it to easy for the girl to deny you. At least have some mystery about you. You want to have a girl say "I just don't know what your thinking or figure you out." that shit drives people nuts when they can't figure someone out they want to know more about that person.

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Just Like Chess I know the Rules-- And I bet I Checkmate her in like 4 moves--Trey Songz
Not Every girl is going to be instantly attracted to you it is what you do that makes them attracted to you.

I see what you guys are saying, but It just felt like the time to make a stand. It felt like me and her were stuck in a relationship limbo where we weren't sure if we wanted to be friends or something more.

I have no problems losing this girl whatsoever if that happens than so be it. But being so unsure of where I stood with this girl bothered me more than losing her.. If that makes any sense?

I know the consensus for situations like this is to see other girls etc. Sometimes its not that simple and you develop strong feelings for someone and this was the case for me. I developed a bit of oneitis with this girl and I think it would be better for me if I ended up losing her rather than continuing are little games and me not knowing where I stood with her.

If you're on a long term relationship and plan on marrying the bitch, yes.

well not even a day later and she has already initiated textting with me again. Maybe I didn't blow it like I thought I did. We are pretty much just talking about random things at this point and aren't talking about what I said last night. Not sure if that is a good or bad thing. Maybe I can still salvage this...

That's a good thing. She is salvaging it for you.

Speaking from experience:
I have a rule that I dont even think about dating a girl until Ive been hanging out and hooking up with her for at least 2-3 months.

It gets them to the point, that they will keep hinting and suggesting as to why I havent made it exclusive yet. Thats when Ill suggest it, and I you dont even have to ask. The point is, I decide. I dont put all my cards out and give them an ultimatum. Its the ultimatum Ill decide when I know shes ready, and also when Im ready.

This shows im not needy... I have other options and if she fucks up I can walk away... She has to qualify herself as a good partner for me in this time so it shows I uphold high standards over who I will date and not rush into it.

Until then just be attractive...
Up until that time, you are suppose to have fun, flirt, fuck, hang out, do stuff thats not serious... In this time, don't act jealous over what she does or needy to see her.

BE ATTRACTIVE! she wants you to be attractive. Its incredibly frustrating for her when a guy fucks up, because she was probably on your side hoping you do well so she can date you! Have other options open, not just her. This will make her want exclusivity with you.

Do lots of cool shit that makes her want to be apart of the fun! Then theres no way she can turn down offers to share time in your attractive lifestyle with you.

Be harder to get because you are busy! This is also attractive!! We want what we cant have. And if your not there at the push of a button for her, well its because you are doing other things and she will have to earn your attention, because you are a busy man. See she did it to you here. Thats push and pull. She met up with you, then went a little bit distant for a while. And see, it worked. It made you want her, and you basically asked her to be your girlfriend after just one time of her doing this!! lol.

These may seem like subtle little games which is true, but if you actually make them a reality in your life, then its not a game at all! and she will find it attractive.

Now the opposite from experience:
A girl ive bedded, then tried to date a couple times that Ive realllyy liked, Ive fucked it up. In about the first 2 weeks of seeing her I confessed I really liked her, and let her know I was thinking about her too often. Showed my cards so to speak. THIS IS UNATTRACTIVE AND PUSHED THEM AWAY. I wanted to date her, so I would keep asking when shes available. She was always saying shes busy. I knew I had blown it, but I kept pushing for a date til she finally said she was free. Then she flaked on the day of the date. I was angry! but I really only had myself to blame. I was unattractive. She had sex with me and gave me every chance to be attractive, but I blew it because I was too NEEDY -not attractive.

anyway, hope you can take something out of what I just ranted on about

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I'ma be what I set out to be, without a doubt undoubtedly, and all those who look down on me I'm tearin down your balcony, no if ands or buts, don't try to ask him why or how can he