Hi guys,

I would love your help on this issue that has been really getting me down!
I recently met a girl who I really liked and I thought she liked me back but only later to find out she only wants to be friends. I’m going to tell you the story and would like to please know if there is anyway I can turn this around and turn her into my lover.

So I met this girl online and from the moment I met her in person I fell for her. She is gorgeous and has an awesome personality. Our first date went very well. We hit off really well and we held hands (I held her hand) and at the end of the night when I walked her back to her bus stop we kissed (I kissed her).
A few days passed and I invited her to a party I was hosting at my apartment with she agreed to attend. So she came to the party. At that party I was very high value. I had lots of friends over and hot girls. Great music and SPAM. I gave her little attention as I was playing host.

Anyway as the party wind-downed a few of my friends and I were heading to an after party were invited to. I asked her to tag along and said she could crash at my place. She said she would if she could crash on my couch.
So we go to this party. At this point she is drunk and so am I. We walk in like a couple holding hands. Now at the party I also gave her little attention but introduced her to a bunch of people. I noticed she was chatting with a lot of guys. At one point I went over and asked her to join me for a smoke in the balcony and she agreed.

So we went outside for a smoke. She then opened up to me and got all emotional about her past. Then we started kissing and making out. She told me that will not sleep with me that night but she finds me very hot and maybe will sleep with me in the future.

So we head back to my place with my flat mates and a few friends. Now there is one cock blocker who would not leave me and her alone and also wanted to sleep on the coach (it is a huge coach can sleep 3 people). She didn’t seem to have a problem with that but I did. I knew the cock blocker was trying desperately to hook up with her.

So I ask her to have a friend with her and ask her if she will sleep with me in the bed but I’ll stick to my side of the bed and she agreed but said I better stick to my side of the bed. So we go to my bed and she turns her back to me and goes to sleep fully clothed.

The next morning she leaves. We then exchange a few text messages. I then discover I have to travel to LA for two weeks. I don’t tell her that yet. I ask her if she is free to meet in the weekend, she says she is meeting friends out of town but wants to have dinner with me on Tuesday. I tell her I would love to but can;t as I will be away in LA for two weeks but would like to when I’m back. She then says how about Monday? I agree.

So Monday I meet her for dinner. We have a great time. She then briefly shows me her apartment (close to the place we ate dinner) and she drives me to the train station. No kiss, no physical contact.

I leave kinda disappointed. Okay pretty disappointed as there was no kiss or nothing romantic in that interaction. I felt something was missing. Then suddenly on the train I get a text message from her saying she had an awesome time with me and told me to promise to call her when I’m back from LA and can’t wait to hang out when Im back. I send her a text message back saying I also had an awesome time and the only thing that would have topped it is if I kissed her. She writed back saying yep she sucks with that stuff. She doesn’t kiss random guys anymore and needs to be friends with someone before taking it further but she is really enjoying getting to know me and thinks I’m an awesome guy.

At this point I’m thinking smooth sailing, things are going well with this girl.
So I go to LA. I don’t contact her for 10 days. Then after 10 days I send her a message on facebook and tell her I been thinking about her and am looking forward to seeing her back. 2 days pass and no reply. So I then text her from my US cell phone and laugh it out saying “stupid me trying to get in touch with u on facebook....how is it going? I been having a blast in LA” She replies saying she is so happy to hear I am having a blast in LA. Later that day she makes a comment on a photo I posted on f acebook and asks when I’m returning to town.
So I get back to town and give her a call the next day. She picks up right away and seems very happy to hear from me. We make a date to spend Saturday after noon in a museum and in the evening hang out with my friends in a bar. So we are making a day out of it.

Sa turday comes and we spend a day in the museum. It went really well. We laughed a lot and had a great time together like we always do. Then at point thinking things are going very well I try to hold her hand and she pulls back. I am shocked. She said she only holds the hand of the guy she is devoted to. She also says she can’t rush into getting physical. I tell her but we kissed and made out at that party a few weeks ago. She says OOPPPS... i was so drunk I don’t remember and I didn’t mean to mislead as I wouldn’t had done it if I was sober.
I’m kinda pissed off and frustrated at this point and am only expecting things to go downhill.

But we then back to my apartment to have a drink before we meet my friends at the bar. In my apartment she tells me she needs more time to get to know me but thinks I’m very hot. She also thinks me and her have a connection and she told my sister about me when I was in LA (which is something she rarely does). Okay I am thinking sounding good I guess.
She said she doesn’t want to make out with me as she rather talk and get to know me better.

She says most of her ex-boyfriends she was good friends before going out. So I’m still hopeful.

We then go to the bar to meet my friends. We seem like a couple to them. We sit next to each other, we dance next to each other. Then at midnight she says okay I need to go home now and take the last train home. I am like why not sleep at mine? She says nope. I repeated it again and expressed my disappointment. She said she had a great day with me and wants to leave it at that. And she says she loves spending time with me. So I walk her to the train station, we actually hold hands for a bit.

She then sends me a long text message saying how much fun she had with me and signs with an X (I know X is common for kiss but she NEVER EVER signed like that with me before). And then I see on facebook she posted a bunch of pictures of me and her as a couple from the day in the museum and in the bar with sweet comments.

Now my flat mate is a girl and she invited her for dinner on Thursday (this was the weekend). She was then off to her home town for the next two weeks for the Christmas holidays.

I also got her a small gift from LA which she loved.
So Thursday comes and she come for dinner. Now for some reason I was down that day and noticed she was barely talking to me and that her and my flat mate were doing all the talking. I did feel something was awkward and something was off.

After the dinner I walk her to the train station and wish her a happy holiday. I then get a text message an hour later saying “I now I’m an idiot for doing this and feel gutted but I can only be your friend. I just don’t see u in that way. I really wanted to but I can’t. And i feel bad as u r making such an effort and I don’t think those feelings will ever change. But I think u r an awesome guy and would love to be your friend”.

I went CRAZY! I was super sad. My impulsive action- I tried calling her. It was late, she didn’t pick up but she texted. She told me to call her at lunch the next day before she travels.

So we spoke the next day and spoke for like half an hour. Basically this is the jinx of it, she says she thinks I’m a very good looking guy and an awesome guy but has no attraction to me in that way. And she never had from DAY ONE! She said she really wanted to but it didn’t happen and she said she doesn’t think those feelings will change. I told her don’t u think this is a bit premature to close the door. I also reminded her that she told me her ex boyfriends used to be friends, so what is different here? She said but with them she felt something early on which she doesn’t with me. She told we might get together somewhere down the road but not to count on it and waste my time. She encouraged me to meet someone else and said she may very well.

Anyway guys, I was depressed and SHOCKED!

So she left for two weeks. I decided not to stay in contact.
A good friend of mine told me my problem with her is that I never built attraction with her and quickly threw myself into the friends zone. But so many mixed signals from her, right? Confusing one.
Anyway, I was really down.

Weeks passed, I didn’t get in touch. Just got in touch on her birthday and I sent her a cool photo which she loved and posted on facebook.

Then I met some hot chic at a bar who I started to bang. It got my confidence up again. What helped is I re-read The Game by Neil Strauss and studied Mystery. Also Double Your Dating and understood once again how attraction works. It helped me pick up the hot girl. And I can see how with this girl I didn’t do it.
Anyway, I sent her a funny text message the other day by accident. I was actually meant for someone else but got to her and she was very happy to hear from me and said she wanted to see me soon. So I told her cool- let’s get drunk then on Friday? And guess what she agreed?

Now on Friday just her and me are getting drunk at my place and maybe going out. She said she will crash at mine if she can sleep in the spare room.
So guys- in light of everything and this RECENT DEVELOPMENT about Friday, is there anyway I can turn her into a lover? Can I hook up with her on Friday? What should I do?

Really appreciate your feedback.

Cheers,
Mark

Hey man,

in regards to asd, you are taking your sweet time escalating and not leading, she has given you alot of chances and you are not going for it, stop waiting for approval, the only way to find out if she will sleep with you is try to sleep with her (stop trying to get her to logically agree it won't happen), she wants no responsibility in the hookup, you have to make it happen, it is a yes or a no, just take the responsibility, if she decides you are friend zone, do your best to turn her on, get her alone, and get her naked, what she says is not as important as what she does, figure out what she does when you do your best to make her horny and go for it

I read the title of your post and I already knew what I was going to say to you.

I read some of your post (skipped some of the middle. Long as hell.) and it's a better situation than I expected. Still, here's my original advice.

No. You can't. Because you're desperate, because this is probably the only girl you seriously want right now, because you had your chance and screwed up.

But hey. Doesn't mean you can't try, especially in light of what I read in that post. You can't half-ass it. You can't worry about getting rejected, or hurting your friendship, or losing her. You've already lost her.

Think of this as a half-court shot for the win, in the last second of a basketball game. It can happen, and if it does, it will be a glorious, ecstatic victory. But you need to BELIEVE, with 100% of your being, that you can do it. And don't hold back.

And if it doesn't, acknowledge that your chances were low to start with. And then you move on to the next game, where you start with an even playing field.

Hey Mark,
Next time she is in your bed or your room just follow this clip man:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0tsYKuFFkbg
From min 6 is for you .See how a PUA treats a girl . Enjoy doing her .

Thanks guys- so would I would really like to is this Friday when we are getting drunk together should I go for it???? And if yes, what should I do?

I know someone said go for it like a basketball game and you are losing and it is the 2nd half and then if u get the shot u win. I like that.

I know it is a long post guys but it is very important to me. Your advice would be much appreciated!!!!

Thank.

Mark

This is great stuff! Thanks.

Any suggestions on how to get her naked and horny when in a situation when she made it clear she just wants to be friends?

I mean I am going to be alone with her getting drunk this weekend. What is a good way to escalate and close?

get horny, set sexual frames, make out with her, feel her up, finger bang her

you move things forward not her, expect her to resist, just keep agreeing with her and trying to move forward

only stop trying to move things forward when you get a solid, no, stop, don't

we shouldn't be doing this, is resistance, this is too soon, is resistance, we are not going to have sex, is resistance, im not sure about this, is resistance, no sex until x amount of time because of xyz, is resistance, her hands moving your hands, is resistance (don't try to force your hands back, move them somewhere else and return later when she is more warmed up) im not ready for sex, is resistance, treat everything she says as illogical diarehea comming out of her mouth, it is her sexual anxiety, just lmr, push through it, be caring and understanding, just keep going with the flow, ''YOU'RE RIGHT, THIS IS SO AWESOME THOUGH ISN'T IT?(STACK FORWARD PHYSICALLY)''

This is seriously awesome man!

How do you set up sexual frames? What is it?

By the way, so even if a girl tells you clearly she doesn't see you in that way and only wants to be friends...you can still get SEXUAL with her?

honestly man, it is looking shit terrible for you, she has already stated that you basically don't turn her on, and it is most likely because you don't turn her on, it obviously isn't because she thinks your too ugly or she wouldn't have given you such a shot, you wrote a post saying your desperate and asked how to save this, the only way to save this is have sex with her, it is that or be her friend, it either works or it doesn't, you get to choose, you can keep her around as a friend and not escalate the longer this lasts the more you will never fuck her, or you can try to fuck her, and it either happens or doesn't, either way what happens is entirely up to you, and you gotta ask yourself what you want and realize to get a girl to fuck you, you have to be willing to fuck it up and lose her, playing it safe leads to the friend zone, she becomes bored with how safe and non-sexual you are, it is pretty simple, if you treat girls like friends, they see you as a friend, treat her like a girlfriend, and you get a girlfriend

as for sexual frames, the frame of the interaction is just the meaning behind what is being said, in other words make the theme behind what you are saying sexual, it can be explicitly sexual, it can be a sex joke, it can be mis-interpretation, it can be sexual innuendos, what ever, just put you and her and sex on her mind all at the same time

ok many I def want to FUCK her! I don't care about losing this friendship, I got more than enough friends. So I will put it on the line!

Now this weekend she is going to get drunk with me. She said she might even crash in my spare room. I am looking as that as golden opportunity to have sex with her, am I right in thinking that?

How would u suggest I play it? Keep in mind she never saw me be sexual or talk sexual around her. Shall I wait for us to have a few drinks?

I'll pitch in my two cents. You have the comfort part pretty well established. She knows you enough that you're not a creep and she trusts you enough to crash at your place. Friday, drinking, is a very good opportunity to do some of these things I'll suggest, especially since your confidence is up from banging that hot girl.
What you have to do, is be very playful in a sexual way. Start off by just being playful, tickling, spanking her in a teasing way etc. Hug her from behind and kiss her neck when the opportunity arrises. You have to move things forward, but don't act like you're in a rush, just have fun with it. If she asks what the hell you're doing, tell her you can't help yourself because she's so hot, don't apologize. Do some push pull, get very physical and then get away from her just having fun. If she turns you down, don't acknowledge it and don't ever apologize. If you act like her rejection doesn't phase you, it's just like it didn't even happen. If she starts to accept more of your physical advances, you can even pull of something more direct and really bold. While you're playing and goofing around, take her hand and put it on your hard cock for a second (don't hold it there, let her take it away) and tell her, you see what you're doing to me?
The credit for this goes to 60 and Ciaran.
No woman can resist this kind of compliment. The point is to blame her for your behavior because she is so hot.
You can pull this off because she already knows you respect her boundaries. This may get her to view you in a sexual way, that's the only thing you need since you have comfort established and you actually get along great.
Don't worry if things don't happen all this friday. What's important that you put the seed, the idea of you sexually in her mind and it'll grow there until the next date.
Good luck tomorrow mate!

_________________
rAFC and yes, I'm a chick.

I have bursts of being a lady, but it doesn't last long.

Man this is a great post! Thanks so much dude! You seem to be on the money big time!

Anything else to add guys? A few more pointers would be most appreciated and welcome...

start talking to more girls, if you are single and alone, and you are not doing a good 1 approach a day, then you are not doing anything, make use of your time and don't waste your days