Quote:
how do u go about being direct with girls without seeming needy ??
this has been my number one reason for failing in my opinion
Short Answer: Stop being needy!
Long Answer:
1. Your inner game could do with some improvement. Your question is 3 sentences and you've called yourself retarded, needy, and said you're "failing." All pretty negative isn't it?
There are two basic types of motivation - "away-from," and "towards." People who are "away-from," tend to spend their life
avoiding negatives. They have a job they don't like to avoid debt, they marry a woman they don't love to avoid loneliness, and they talk very little to avoid criticism, rejection or ridicule. These people tend to not be particularly successful. The more you're looking out for negatives to avoid, the more you'll see and the more your path will be fraught with obstacles, and the more naysayers, n'er-do-wells and sceptics will surround you, confirming how hard everything is and how things can't be done.
Then there are people who are motivated
towards positives. They look forward to achieving long-term goals, they pursue their passion to gain wealth, they marry a woman they love to pursue happiness and fulfillment, and they talk confidently about what they believe in, regardless of whether they view is disagreed with, or accepted. These people tend to be more successful. The more you're focused on positives to seek out, the less obstacles seem to hinder you, and the more positive people seem to be naturally attracted to you and want to help you achieve your vision.
Which one do you want to be?
2. To get to the heart of your question - I don't actually accept that a direct approach can be "needy," at all, if it's being done correctly. If the definition of "needy" is "I need this to go well," or "I need this girl to like me," then if anything, an INdirect approach would be needy, because you're purposefully hiding your intent from the girl in order to extend the interaction and avoid the risk of rejection!
The mindset of a direct approach is essentially "hey, I wanted to come over here because there's something I find attractive about you, and I want to get to know you better. Tell me about yourself so I can figure out whether I should take your number to set up a date."
You're coming in ASSUMING higher value, rapport and attraction. You skip all the way to Qualification - making her talk and explain herself to you. Of course, to make anyone open up you have to ask the right questions, be honestly curious, and give at least something yourself to make her intrigued about you and both wanting to find out more and more willing to share herself.
3. If your direct approach is a "daygame" approach, e.g. in a coffee shop, on the street, in a department store, then you're basically building enough comfort, whilst still qualifying, teasing, flirting, making fun of her telling a few stories, etc, to get a number after 5 minutes or so.
If your direct approach is a "nightgame" approach e.g. in a bar or club, then trying to build comfort over loud music is preposterous. Once she accepts the direct approach, you simply lead, escalate hard and handle logistics. Comfort is reduced to a small amount of light banter and basic info and qualification should be sexual in nature. She is there to get laid, not to hear your cute story about your little sister and your puppy!
CHAT
