So last Sunday I banged this girl at my buddies wedding. We exchanged numbers and here's the aftermath up to this point.

Text logs...

Monday (the day after we banged)
[her] - hey, how are you
[me] - Good...blah, blah
[her] - Oh that's cool...blah, blah
[me] - When are we hanging out?
[her] - When you invite me!
[me] - How about today. If not, let's go out Friday
[her] - Haha, I don't think so. I get off of work around 9 on Fri. What are we doing Friday?
[me] - We can go out for a drink or go eat
[her] - Let's go to (bar name).
[me] - Sounds good

Tuesday around midnight
[her] - What are you doing on Sat?

Wednesday morning
[me] - Sorry, I had class, I passed out early. Not sure about Sat...what's up?

Thursday (she didn't reply to my text from Wed)
[me] - So what's up on Sat?
[her] - Do u want to go to a concert?
[me] - Who's playing? Can i let you know Fri?
[her] - [band name] is playing, I'll send u the name of the artist (around 3pm)

Friday
[me] - What are u up to? (6pm ish)
[her] - Just got off work. Super sick (around 9pm)
[me] - So what are you saying [her name], what you getting? lol
[me] - i meant to say, what r u getting at? lol (20 mins later)

Saturday
[me] - How you feeling?
[her] - Like crap
[me] - That sucks...feel better (1.5 hrs later)
[her] - Thanks! (3 hrs later)

Did i fuck myself with my texting? I know that i should have just ended the convo on Fri after she told me she was sick, but like an idiot I tried to be funny via text. I was thinking about just switching things up and just calling her on Wed to try to setup a date? Thoughts? Is there still a chance here since we've already banged?

I think she is obviously interesting in meeting you just by the text game... I think your in good shape for the time being maybe swing the control in your favor and wait for her to text you again and then wait a good 12-18 hours to respond. I think she will text you very soon

Thanks for the input soul70.

If I don't hear back from her by Wed/Thurs, should I just pull the trigger on calling her or just send a text?

Still haven't heard back...any other thoughts on me calling on wed?

She sounds like a flake especially with the whole saturaday concert bailing. slightly desperate near the end of the week. If she is sick, let her be sick. You are not her boyfriend. Text her in a FEW days( that means not the next day) Read some guides on texting on the forum. Your texts are boring. Be funny, be creative.

I don't know the link but I got a awesome structured guide to good texting from here. Look up up.

Cheers,

I dealt with a girl who acted like this, dealt with it for a few months.

The worst thing is to get overly invested with a chronic flaker. IF you want to be involved with her you've gotta play the game properly and that means not getting all emotional over shit when she flakes out. What you do, instead, is be cool as fuck and say "hope you're feeling better, let's arrange for something some other time"

You DO NOT want to call them out on what you suspect is bullshit. She may really be sick, or something better came along for her plans-wise (e.g. a guy she's more interested in asked her out) ; the point is, she's under no obligation to you until she's your girlfriend so you're just going to have to roll with it.

Nothings fucked up but don't keep hitting her up to go out every time you text. Text her ask her how she's feeling, make some small lighthearted/funny convo and then wait a day or so ask her out again but be more assertive ("Saturday night I'm taking you somewhere crazy, dress ")


Right now she's got you on a bit of a string, so the key is to get her invested in you (only happen by going out and showing her a fun time), and then pull away/be aloof (too aloof she'll get fed up and walk). Idea is give them something nice, a sense of mystery, excitement, something unique and then take it away for a bit make them pine for it, chase you...and then give it back and repeat, rewarding her when her behavior improves.

Yeah, I last texted her on Sat, so I was thinking about contacting her Wed or Thurs. In regards to the text being boring, I gave an abbreviated/simple version of our convo to get the gist across. Regardless, I've been reading some of the threads on here and I definitely realize there's things i could have changed up. Thanks for the input.
Thanks for the input.

So if i don't hear from her in the next few days, is calling her on Wed/Thur a bad idea? Or should I just send a restart text then? I was basically thinking of calling her, having a small chit-chat [i.e, how's the week going, blah, blah], and then just getting to the point and saying something along the lines of,"I'm going out for drinks on [Fri], you can meet at my place at [x] time...sound good?"

Link on flakes

flakey-girls-vt125437.html?highlight=frame

I've read this before in one of the PUA books, can't remember which.



I'd never chase the flake hard as it'll only confirm her belief that she has you. Periodically drop her a line saying you're going somewhere and she should join you but refrain from asking her out directly as if you're planning your entire night around her agreeing to go out with you. A flake will intermittently meet with you to keep you on the line, so maybe she flakes on you twice only to see you on the 3rd time. Personally I can't stand flakes, particularly after my last experience - flaking is just plain classless and it is in and of itself a form of push/pull. Usually very young chicks engage in this sort of behavior. Often these girls will flake on one guy for one reason, and be chasing another guy...the guy they flake helps buttress their ego because they know they can use him to stroke their ego (someone wants them) while pursuing someone else who may not be giving them what they want.

Good shit man, thanks! Everything in the thread sounds on point, however, the one big difference that I've noticed between the situations described in the thread and mine is that I've already had sex with the girl. Does that count for anything here? Or is it irrelevant in this situation?

I've been reading a lot of threads regarding these types of situations -- a lot with conflicting approaches. At this point, I'm thinking I should just wait until Thursday night, give her a call and just ask her out. It doesn't seem like I have anything to loose at this point. Right?

your entire thread was boring.... Emotion my friend, women love emotion.. Now what emotion were you expressing in your text?

Phone calls will spare you a lot of flakes in the future.

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Sounds like the last girl I was messing around with. We had sex a few times in the first week. She always was flaky, I'd often react to it which was the wrong-headed approach as she's respond negatively.

Best way is to come off as unphazed, and just say "hope you get well, we'll meet up some other time". A few days later see how she is, feel out the situation. Ask her out again but not on initial contact.

yeah what I'm working on, unfortunately a series of bad apples (that's POF for you, the girls have issues/baggage) is always providing an all around positive experience. This is understanding where you start and end and where they begin and end... otherwise you would be criticizing yourself for fukin up

my goal and ambition is no matter what the situation or circumstance, to be the positive guy who has never left a woman on a negative note. From time to time I get mad and vent at them when I feel they've abused my time/resources.

There's got to be something in that, this philosophical direction is where I am going and hopefully it will be the ultimate way to improve game.

I mean, we are men right, there is NEVER a good reason to leave a woman on bad terms or to let out negativity. We are completely self sufficient, and we are willing to put out the same effort for all women because we are great guys

but we also need to be able to calculate a limit to that effort.

kill it

Spot on. If you really want her than just call or even better just show up uninvited. But that said you banged at a wedding which is pretty easy giving the circumstances so why put in the text effort? Chumps text men show up its your life you choose.

Why are we making this so complicated? She had sex with you, she wants to confirm that her feelings were legit. You texting her too much with nothing to say got annoying, and she flaked. That's it.

No worries though! But stop texting her! Call her tomorrow, set up a date. Be honest and genuine, say that you want to see her again. Don't even stress about the phone call though. Get the date, talk for another 5-10 minutes, then tell her you'll call her the day before the date.