I didn't mean to suggest anything about where you are in your progress. Your post in response to pumpington let me in on the fact that although you're frustrated, you haven't given up. You continue to improve.

I only meant that the original post was a necessary side effect to considerable hard work. You were speaking from experience, at the unavoidable slowness of personal change. You wished for an interaction that would be more genuine, not need to be "learned." That fact tells me that you're learning.

All of that is overanalytical mumbo-jumbo though. I've got nothing but respect for you, but I can't answer your question except to say "Accept it." I have a feeling you already have.