Back story - Been seeing this girl for about a month. She travels a lot for work so we've only seen each other like 4 times. No sex, but making out and heavy petting. The last time I was at her place I tried to make a move and she said she wanted to but the shes not ready for "slumber parties" yet. I know this girl likes me but I think it's more of a "He's a great guy. He'd make a great boyfriend" type of thing. How do I get her to see me as a lover? I'd kind of like to keep her around.

Also, when we discussed this leading somewhere I told her that I thought this had potential and that even though I had some options I didnt really want to see anyone else. Her responses were pretty vague: "Ya I know what you mean. I just feel like I'm not being fair to you if I always cancel. And Im so in and out of town it would be hard to start something ya know?"

I told her we're both busy so there's probably never going to be a "perfect" time. Her response: "Well maybe one day our schedules will work together "

I told her we should go to this place we've been talking about for a while and talk and she said "I'll be around " Again, kinda vague. Need some advice guys. I like this one....

why are you a provider? are you buying her stuff or paying her bills or something? if so, you didnt mention it.

if she's not sleeping with you, its MUCH more likely to be because shes not that into you and not because she is thinking "he's a great guy. he'd make a great boyfriend" and doesnt want to ruin a potential amazing relationship with an amazing guy. thats just not reality.

when a girl starts making excuses about why she cant be with you, thats a huge telltale sign shes not feeling it. if she was into you, she'd come over late at night and before and after her business trips and fuck the shit out of you. not say "blah blah blah id like to be with you but im busy with work, and its not fair to you, and our schedules dont work blah blah blah".

imo this would be a great time to start exploring those other options.

Maybe provider isn't the right word but obviously she doesn't view as the fun guy she hooks up with. How do I change that? How can I amp up the attraction? Obviously if shes responding to my texts and making out with me shes somewhat interested....right?

well yeah, i mean obviously shes into you on some level. shes hanging out with you and making out with you, so thats a good thing.

but what worries me is that shes also giving you a lot of the blowoff/not interested signs. if she was really attracted to you and wanted a sexual relationship with you there wouldnt be any of that "im not ready for slumber parties yet" or "it would be hard to start something". they just dont say that shit if theyre really into a guy.

are you being too available? whos initiating the interactions? are you constantly asking for meetups when she returns home or does she suggest them some of the time?

i think what i would do in this situation is to first of all start talking to/seeing other girls. thats a no-brainer. idk if you really have other options or you were just saying that, but find some and explore them. thats gonna automatically make you less likely to care what shes doing. also, since shes outta town a lot thats the perfect opportunity to fuck other girls. part of the problem of dating multiple girls is time and logistical issues. in your case, that would figure to be less of a problem due to her constant business trips. so take advantage of that.

second, dont text/call/make plans first. stop doing that (if you even are) and lets see if she starts taking the initiative. im not saying to ignore her or freeze her out but just let her get at you first. def respond to her and continue to be your normal fun/playful/interesting self, but just dont initiate for a while and see how often she contacts you.

keep us posted.