Alright guys, so I had been into Pick Up for about two years and then six months ago I met the girl of my dreams. The kind of girl who rocks your world so much that it makes you want to strive to be a better person for her. This chick got me re-interested in advancing my life in areas I had full just passed by. I was totally in love with her and she said she felt the same way about me. Then she just dropped off the grid. A few days later I got a text saying it was over and she didn't love me. I screwed up and went total AFC trying to get her back and such, but the only thing I ever got back was her friend saying that I should respect her wishes and leave her along.

Now a lot of you guys are gonna say to go out and bang hot chicks to get over your one-its. I have done this. I have had chicks way hotter, way more fun, and way better in almost every way. The problem is that none of them make me feel like I am of value the way she did. Yeah it is fun, but most of them are just in it for a lay with a cool guy. I want that feeling of knowing that everything is going to be alright because you have the support of that other person. AFC, I know. Moving on isn't really an option. I can fill the physical void, but there is something else missing now...

Now we broke up awhile back. I haven't tried to contact her in awhile, and I don't plan to until I am in a situation that I can have control and get this chick back. There are a lot of problems though. I am willing to get through all of them, but I need a little help with how approach them.

First, a lot of my friends said some really terrible things to her after we broke up. I don't really talk to those friends anymore, but you gotta see the problem there....

Second, I went total AFC after she pulled that. I begged, I pleaded, and I did everything I knew I shouldn't do. You can't take back the things you have said and done, so does anyone have any advice on how to approach her in a way that shows I'm not like that at all anymore.

Finally, I obviously have to go after her in person. Email, Text, Facebook, or any of that isn't going to do the trick. I am just wondering if anyone has approached an ex in public and knows how to open a conversation with them without them storming off because of the past. Also are there any ways to soften her up through those media connections?

I don't know about any of the media connections, but I have only tried this once and it did work quite well for me.

First off to do this you need to seem more alpha than anyone else around. I'm talking having the entire bar infatuated with you. (not an easy thing to pull off) It was one of those nights where everyone was pulling me in every direction and wanting to touch me and get me into their set.

She had her eye on this the whole night. Finally she got a second of my time and she said something about being impressed. I looked her in the eye and told her very seductively that I am a very different person now. I kissed her on the cheek and walked away.

From then on it was her pursuing me.

Again, not easy, but if you fall into this sort of situation, it worked great.

Well I'm pretty good at being an Alpha. I was an Army Ranger, and I'm in a fairly successful band. Talking to people isn't a big deal for me. I can get most people's attention rather easily and keep it for long periods of time. I just am unsure that if she sees me if she will just leave strait away. I don't know. Maybe that is an idicatior that I need to wait longer.

Could be. like I said, this situation fell into my lap. It was the first time I had seen her since I got into PUA and it all just kinda happened. It was a fantastic night to begin with. I sometimes capture the hearts of the entire bar, but its not everyday. This happened to be one of those nights. In short, I got lucky. If you find yourself in the same situation though, I think it could work.

Thanks man. I hope it happens. I may have to force the possibility of the situation occurring as we don't go to the same places. I'm a drummer in a hard rock band, and she is into dubstep and electro music, so we are very different in the scenes we hang out in. I have been known to go catch a show at her favorite club from time to time though. So maybe I can just do that.

How long has it been? It works best if it's been at least 6 months or more. A year is better.

_________________
rAFC and yes, I'm a chick.

I have bursts of being a lady, but it doesn't last long.

Okay, I apologize in advance for this post, but I consider this tough love:

First, your frame is completely fucked up. Be the prize... DO NOT CHASE WOMEN!!! Also, you're coming off as super-needy and stalker-ish. Just stop. Dating is a numbers game.. the more time you waste on girls who do not work out, the worse off you are.

Also, work on your game.. you've been in the community for 2 years and you went full on AFC when you broke up?! Why did you expect that to work? You've totally screwed yourself at this point. Learn your shit and maybe try again in a couple years when you're both different people and this stuff is ancient history. You will never get her back until you deal with your oneitus and bring more quality women into your life.

-Wolf

Telling him he went AFC and how he's appearing stalkerish (which he's not) is no help.

Anyway, winning an ex back is tough as she knows you, and she might have moved on already. Going to the bar and being the center of attention is too much trouble and the logistics of it all are absurd - unless of course you know which bar she hangs out at. I'd simply contact her via text with something light hearted and funny; she may not be ready to hear your voice right now so you may have to start low and escalate gradually from there. Honestly, I think the advice ppl gave you in this thread is retarded - makes me wonder how many virgins/arm chair PUAs there are on this board.

Those were his words (about going AFC), not mine.. re-read his post. Also, she did cut him off completely from her social circle, asked him to respect her wishes, and he is still trying to find a way back in by figuring out where she will be so he can reinitiate contact with her, in person. In what world does that NOT appear stalker-ish?

Furthermore, did I give him bad advice? No. I gave him very solid advice based on personal experience. Was it a bit harsh? Yes, and that's why I apologized at the beginning of my post.
The poster has an inner-game problem. He should not be relying on others to make himself feel valuable. He needs to work on his own feelings of self-worth and self-confidence before he's going to be able to maintain a healthy long term relationship with others.

-Wolf

How long has it been?

What were the reasons for your breakup? It's simply not possible to be madly in love one day and next day you break up. What aren't you telling us?

Is she seeing someone else already?

I don't think contact via txt or email is the appropriate way.

Answer my questions and I'll try to offer some advice.

Going AFC was a very bad move, becuase of the fact you have to remain cool & alpha male a big majority of the time when your with your girl/socially, even while texting you gotta remember. I totally understand the frustration tho bro ive been their.

I suggest you improve your inner game & remember shes the lucky one, while keeping the Romance flowing! But since your broken up try to slowly catch her and continue where you left off DONT average frustrated chump her, like we all know... its very unattractive. Its alot like juggling to me but not impossible, im sure you know this already with two years! But like i said try to slowly catch her in a cool manner, improve your inner game so you dont break again & keep researching to improve your all around game, Ok man goodluck!

This kind of stuff will happen to guys who get into pickup and learn some tactics and surface theories but dont really have the solid foundation and understandings of attraction and relationship dynamics, not to mention compatibility.

You probably attracted this girl and took her on the proverbial love rollercoaster but after a few months the ride is less fun and one party realises there was no actual foundation or compatibility, no true love.

This is an area of game that I believe is flawed, because the deepest most underlying desire of a woman is to find love. Men are learning pickup but not learning or understanding how to screen for themselves, and end up in a relationship with the first hot babe who will respond to them, even tho the girl is very likely not your ideal woman personality wise. Then she breaks your heart and your like wtfff

Now in this specific case it could be different. Maybe she IS your type and you actually DID build a solid foundation together from the start. But if thats the case, you have to wonder what caused her to wake up one morning and tell you she didnt love you.

If my current gf of 7 months did that to me, I would be like. "really? seriously? cool, have a nice life"
because why would you want to be with someone who doesnt love you back the way you love them?

What also could have happened is that you gave it all up too early and she felt like she conquered you and had nothing left to conquer and so "doenst love you".

If game has taught me one thing its that women are a very very very VERY VERY VERY FICKLE AND COMPLEX bordering SUPERFICIAL SPECIES

You definately have inner game issues, id say a very high codependacy issue and probably a lot less reference points than you claim to have with much hotter women etc etc.

But these "inner game" issue get solved instantly by changing your beliefs

It hasn't been a super long time since we broke up. A little over a month or so.

I never got a real reason why we broke up. She just told me she didn't love me and to go away. All through a text message of course. Mutual friends say she isn't seeing anyone, but I'm not sure on the quality of the information.

Thanks man. I knew going AFC was a terrible thing to do the minute after I did it, but it was too late to catch myself. I have had a lot of girl friends after starting pick up. I have done really well with most of them and left the relationships on good terms. I think that's why I was so off guard when she did this.

I get what you are saying. I thought we had a good foundation. We were friends a long time before we got together so we knew what the other person was like, and we both always have said we were each other's type so that doesn't make sense. I didn't use any pick up tricks to get her either. It all just kinda fell together. It all fell apart in a similar matter. She has always been a bit of a fickle person, but never with me. Even when we were just friends. I'm not fully convinced of her saying she didn't love me. I would bet a lot of money that something else has happened in her world and she just can't be an adult and tell me.

As for the inner game thing, its never been a problem before. I am a decent looking guy, a former army ranger, and I play in a rather popular band in our local area. So having confidence in myself has never really been a problem for me. It just is with this girl I guess. Maybe it has to do with the sort of betrayal of trust thing. I am someone who puts a lot into loyalty and trust and having that broken has shaken me a bit. Or perhaps I just am having a lame ass Niel Strauss issue where I cant get my stuff together with one particular girl.