Ok, so I'll try and keep this as short as possible.

I met a friend of a friend on NYE at a giant rave and we ended up really hitting it off. There was MDMA involved, so I understand that much of it could be attributed to that, but there was still a definite connection. We did the whole NY kiss and ended up cuddling and making out in our hotel room after (no chance to go any further with friends in the room and if you'd done MDMA...you'd understand)

Anyways, she's been blowing up my phone w/ text these last few days and I've done my best to not AFC it up. Last night (I think she was a little tipsy), she asked me if she could come see me (we live about 3 hours apart) and I kinda messed with her a bit and finally agreed on a day.

This morning, she texts me and basically is pulling the whole "you think it's too soon to hang out alone? i mean we just met but i really do feel a huge connection with you."

My question: how do I get her to not only still come but feel GOOD about doing it too?

MUCH thanks in advance.

Thoughts

To be honest, you can ignore that question... it wont lead to anything good. Just tell her when she should come down to see you.

She wants to come and she feels good about it already! she just doesn't want you to think shes a slut or something so shes using this "huge connection" as an excuse to be forward and visit because shes down with you!

I think you're money make it happen champ.

"HB(name) you should come down (saturday/whenever) we will have an adventure. "
Usually I would say to call, but I don't even think you have to.

Cheers and GoodLuck

ps. do the "making her feel good" part when she arrives...

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Thanks for the thoughts Trajan.

I did leave a couple pieces of info out that might or might not be pertinent. 1)She just broke up with her BF of 2+ years and 2)We already basically have plans to hang out in a couple weeks but she would be coming up w/ a friend of hers (for a music show). I'm sure we'd still get plenty of alone time because her friend was planning on seeing someone else, but who knows.

Would it be awful to re-frame the whole situation as my idea for her not to come until that weekend because I have a lot of stuff to do, etc...and then maybe be a little distant for the next day or two? Almost like she'll wonder if she screwed up by not taking the opportunity? She's been absolutely BLOWING ME UP with texts, so she would absolutely notice.

The only reason I'm considering that is because I feel like it woud be much worse if she came up with doubts and it did end up being awkward at some point. This chick is a legit 9 and seems really cool (so far) and I'm like 99% sure the following weekend will be a blast since it's the same group from NYE.

Seriously, thanks again though. All this stuff is so overwhelming to me.

She doesn't have doubts, that's a shit test. Look at her actions... talking to you all the time, wanting to see you. The words matter less than how often you're on her mind.

shes used to having a lot of attention from a boyfriend who is gone. If shes a hb like you say she probably wants to fill that void quickly. Sometimes girls like to go from one boy to the next quickly because they've become accustomed to the comfort. I don't think hesitating and waiting 2 weeks is a good call when shes in this delicate state and down with you... and don't make decisions because you're afraid. Awkward is a choice and can always be turned into sexual tension. Relax and enjoy. She wants to see you!!

Cheers!

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Damnit, what you're saying makes so much sense. I wish I would have waited before responding, but it seemed somewhat time sensitive given the nature of the question. I hope I didn't screw up too badly.

I didn't respond for 30 min because I wasn't sure what to say and she sent back: "What do you think?" That would have been the perfect time to be confident and say get your ass up here wouldn't it? Fuck me.

I ended up saying something like: "Let's wait until _____. I have a shit load of stuff to do getting ready for Canada, I'm sick, etc. My secretary is going to be pissed though! "

She said something about can't wait for that weekend, blah, blah and I haven't responded back at this point.

Did I screw up too badly? What is my best play from here? At the very least thanks for the advice so I don't screw it up next time.

Well fuck me...I hope I didn't make things even worse. She appeared to leave an out for me to convince her, but I just wasn't sure how to go about doing it. She kept saying stuff like:

" But I don't know still. I definitely want too come i just feel like maybe there'll be another better time"

I did my best to convince her without sounding like I was begging, but it finally resulted in:

"But I think I'm going to stick with waiting. Even if I hate myself for it. Hopefully you won't either"

Honestly, this sounds pretty bad to me but maybe I'm over-thinking it? What should have been my response? How should I proceed?

You're definitely overthinking it. Just text her with a date and tell her she's in luck and you freed up.

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Yeah, you're totally right. That's definitely always been a problem of mine. She's still totally blowing up my phone despite any awkwardness that I might have perceived.

I really need to get more girls in the mix so that I can have the luxury of just not worrying about it.

Semi-update:

It might just be in my head, but ever since the flake (even though it was her idea...lol girls) she definitely seems different. Before she was constantly talking about wanting to hang out and couldn't wait all the way until our set meeting time (which is a week and a half from now). She would say shit like "wish you were here to kiss me goodnight", etc, etc.

After the flake yesterday, she still was blowing up my phone but it was more boring friendly, random stuff like "what's your favorite snack?" instead of more sexual(ish)/relationship questions from before. Today, I was planning on ignoring her all day because she knew I was busy and she sent just a winky emoticon and I didn't respond for a few hours. Then she sends me a picture of an inside joke of ours. I finally text back and she hits me back almost immediately, but then she starts talking about her day, how she has a weird love for flossing and other random ass shit. Anytime I make flirty jokes she seems to semi-ignore them. (or at least moreso than before).

I'm probably over-thinking things, but did I fail some shit test by seeming to eager for her to come visit me? I know I played that whole situation pretty poorly, but then again that's why I'm here and not in bed with her right now. I can't help but think she's enjoying the comfort of having a guy to text every night now that her BF is gone. How do I get back to attraction and the flirty stuff and not let her just use me as a fun person to entertain her?

I know I need to get a meet ASAP, and fortunately some buddies from Houston (where she's from) are going down to New Orleans this weekend and I'll be passing through. I was planning on staying in town a few days longer and try to get her to come along with my group of friends.

Thoughts? Sorry for the long ass post. I just can't help but feel like attraction is slipping at least a little and I'm not sure how to proceed. Much thanks again to you guys! Yall are awesome.