Gentlemen

I have a sticking point and I’d really appreciate any ideas and suggestions on what I can try out. I’m also interested to hear from anyone who is having or has had a similar issue.

OK, so, my game is really coming along. At present I have a strange dilemma. My game is really solid when it comes to opening, what comes next, number closing and doing it in such a way that flake rate is really reduced, all the way up to the end of the day 2. I basically have abundance at this level. I get more numbers and day 2s than I can fit in. However I am having a real issue taking them from day 2 to day 3. This strikes me as strange as I have never really heard of this as a sticking point. I know loads of people who maybe have an issue with flakes (I used to have this), physical escalation, pushing for the full close etc. None of these are an issue for me. Flakey numbers used to be an issue but I’ve overcome this by locking the number close to a specific time and location (if they appear hesitant I get them to promise that they will turn up as I’m really busy and can’t have people wasting my time). I also accept that sometimes flakes just happen, so I get more numbers than I really need to take account of this. The result is an abundance of day 2s.

Now the other thing I’m struggling to get my head round is that on the face of it my day 2s are actually quite solid. I lead, I don’t chase it, I don’t seek validation, I tease them and self amuse without being attached to the outcome. I make sure they meet me after I finish work, just round the corner and they have no problem doing this, sometimes travelling long distances to do so.

My day 2s have improved a lot more recently. They’ve gone from taking them to a bar, buying the first round, lasting several hours to taking them to Starbucks, letting them go first and get their own drink, than cutting the interaction short at around 1hr 15-1hr 30 at the height of their interest. I’ve gone from pushing the physical escalation to just leaning back and saving that for the day 3. Something I’m going to experiment with (which has worked well in the past) is letting the interaction go on for around an hour and then suddenly, out of the blue hitting them with “ok, shall we go” (no excuse or explanation). This acts as a push, gets them chasing validation from me there and then (in the past I’ve had girls jump on me for the k-close after doing this, one girl starting asking me directly if I thought she was attractive, another one text me straight after to ask to meet me again). I’m going to give this a go over 4 or 5 day 2s and see what happens but in the meantime would be keen to hear any other ideas/suggestions or views on what I could be doing wrong.

Like I said up until the end of the day 2 I have abundance and then.... zero, lol. The other thing which is strange is that a lot of the time I get iois, some of them shove me out of the way to pay for my drink at the start. But then it goes flat. Afterwards they reply to my texts but either go a bit cold or say they want to meet up again but can’t for a while as they have an exam, a busy week at work et al.

I’ve been trying to figure out of this is a rapport issue (similar to how some people have this as a problem leading to flakey numbers – there is attraction but not enough trust/connection) or if there is enough attraction, or if there is attraction and I’m somehow DLVing or showing a lack of congruence.

I’ve got another 4/5 day 2s in the pipeline and as many as I want after that so I’m happy to experiment with all kinds of stuff to see what works.

Open to ideas guys...

Destro

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This is your life and it's ending one minute at a time

Well, it sounds like you've engineered yourself 100% to this point and may be coming off as a player after they cool down and have time to think about it.

These tricks are good and all but underlying it has to be some sort of connection. Something that, after the show is over, and she forgets all the tricks, makes her feel "this guy and I really connect, I want to spend more time around him."

So do you get onto topics of shared interest, are your day 3's talked about in the form of something that you'd both like to do together? Is she excited about talking about what you might do together? "we should check out that new theatre production"

Sounds like its all about you being "attractive" and "high value" but there's nothing about "you and Sarah" and the special conversation you had or the shared interest you have.

The thing you have in common initially doesn't even have to be the thing that you end up having in common further down the track. I've had girls play video games with me and take an interest - purely (I found out later) just to get to know me better. It's important to be flexible and not hang onto one thing like its the only way you can connect - experiment with other things.

That actually fits pretty well. I think I’m being cocky, breaking rapport, challenging which is attracting them. Then I keep doing this when I need to start toning it down and establishing an emotional connection.

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So I’m looking at specific things that can help build that connection on a deeper level. Things I’m looking at are:
# Cold reads – developing this so that you tell them something about themselves that establishes a connection
# Highlighting/focusing on the things you have in common
# Finding out what they’re passionate about and relating to how this makes them feel and why they do it
# Showing knowledge of their culture, job, subject they have studied/are studying (I tend to know about this stuff but don’t really bring it up)
# Give them a playful nickname
# Talk about being in love/when people have a deep connection and how important this is
# Reveal something about yourself – this will open things up for them to reveal something about themselves
# Mirroring them (body language, words used, manner of speech)

Are any of these effective/more effective than the others?

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This is your life and it's ending one minute at a time

i have not dated much but i think if you take some swing and salsa dance classes you can take the girl to a dance and swing her and lead her through an exciting dance and that might help you get a little further on.

have had plenty of number closes which lead to day 2's. great rapport, seemed like good connection, but transitioning to day 3 and beyond is hit or miss. once i get past day 2 then i know all is good but the times i dont are not clear why.

I always assumed if you had a great day 2 and kiss closed then a smooth transition to day 3 should be relatively easy, but there are times when the text / setting up day 3 goes a little stale.

like you said plenty to keep me busy in the mean time but i just dont get it...

This is a very good way to approach this problem. I think all things on this list have value, I don't know you and can't recommend how you change your personal approach, but this is a great start.

I will be using this list for myself, thank you for making it.